Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

whitewing

I'll be first in the queue for the island, pyxis.

I think you should just leave her out. Only because, as hard as you try, she also needs to take responsibility for her own upset, and communicate. Don't ignore her though. Just accept that she is not joining in and make it clear that you are happy to discuss. (Even if you're a wimp like me).

I was told off today. It was a valid telling off as I went to the hospital before work to see ER. They let me see her for 10 mins. She doesn't look too good, but gave me a crooked smile. She always was a rebel.

Reminds me of the time I took her in a helium balloon. Someone complained that it was distracting.

You can't please all the !!!!!!s all the time. Just a shame I can't seem to please any of 'em today, lol.

Littlewing is looking forward to Children in Need on Friday.

Izadora

Pyxis wrote: »

It sounds like she's taken umbrage with me about something. Dunno what, though.

Unfortunately, as she's going for the attitude-but-don't-talk-about approach, it looks like you're going to have to ask her.

While I like WW's suggestion of just leaving her out I presume that has an impact on other people in the group?

Although it's annoying having to take the blame for someone else's bad behaviour, could you mention to her that you've noticed she's been unhappy recently and ask if you've done anything to upset her?

heartbreak_star

Phew! I'm ACTUALLY back now

Working in a lab again which is much more "me" than selling insurance!

Sorry to hear a lot of you have had a rough time of it recently. I'm rubbish at fixing things but am sending lots of love and hugs to you all.

HBS x

onomatopoeia99

Pyxis wrote: »

I want to live on an island! :rotfl:


(If I ever win Euromillions mega jackpot, I will buy a large archipelago somewhere and we can each have our own island for when humans become all too much! )

Don't need the Euromillions for your own island . Even better, this one is an actual fort

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-56952067.html

It's tempting, but the commute to Bristol would be a struggle!

Pyxis

Izadora wrote: »

Unfortunately, as she's going for the attitude-but-don't-talk-about approach, it looks like you're going to have to ask her.

While I like WW's suggestion of just leaving her out I presume that has an impact on other people in the group?

Although it's annoying having to take the blame for someone else's bad behaviour, could you mention to her that you've noticed she's been unhappy recently and ask if you've done anything to upset her?

I might have to have a gentle word about why she's not able to join in with the practices. I can't just leave her out, though, WW. As I say, if what she did was good the whole time, it wouldn't be a problem, but though she can be good, she can also make some big mistakes, which then reflects on the rest of the sub-group and how we perform. We are all making mistakes, though, so I understand that! Some of what we do isn't easy, and we all have different levels of talent.

I am responsible for how the sub-group performs, you see, so if the Director picks up on things not being done right, it's the sub-group, and me, that gets told, which is annoying when I've been trying so hard!
It then makes it look like I'm not doing my role!

Don't get me wrong, none of this deathly serious.....at the end of the day, it is a hobby, but we all want to do well, and improve, but that does mean putting the work in. Sometimes Life gets in the way, We know that. If one person feels it's all a bit beneath them, it reflects on the dynamics of the rest of the subgroup.

Can anyone recommend a good man-management course I can do in the next few days?

calleyw

Morning my lovelies,

Hugs and handshakes and squishes all round.

Welcome back HBS:T

Action man went to work today so I decided to come home today. Got in the front door set of keys by the front door. Drop my bags in the kitchen to find my post and a note saying thanks for everything. My lodger has just up and left!!!!

I rang him to ask what was going on. Oh there is too much tension between us and I am always in a mood. Umm I hardly ever here. I phoned him sunday just to let him know that I might not be back until wednesday not a word.

And then he was moaning about money. he pays £300 a month!!! for a room and free range of the house. I said well its your own fault about the money. Claims that he has given the car back!! and going to buy a cheap run around. I would love to know with what. Does he think that his brother who he moved in with is not going to charge him something.

I told him he was a user and not a friend. The excuse as to why he did not tell me face to face was he did not when I was going to be home and also how I would react!!!

If I am really honest the only thing I will miss is his phone charger. Not sure that I am going to do for money. But hey ho. Need to ring the council to get my discount put back on again.

At least don't need to worry about how getting him to leave if it got to that stage of me and action man living together. I wonder if some how he worked out it was getting serious and that he would be asked to leave. Who knows. I also think it might be a bit of jealously mixed in with being lonely. As he can no longer rely on me being at home all the time and he has no relationship.

Anyway I am off to bed to try and get some more sleep. As this cold is doing my head in.

Yours

Calley X

tea_lover

Did he just leave your rabbit with no one to look after her?? That's terrible!

calleyw

tea_lover wrote: »

Did he just leave your rabbit with no one to look after her?? That's terrible!

I have no idea when he moved out. He had washed all the bedding. I left thursday afternoon and spoke to him sunday and not a word.

In a way I am glad he has left. Makes it easier for me and action man now. And I don't have to listen to him drone on about his on off gf that I have told him million times to not talk to.

When I told action man what had happened he was like cool I can start planning my man cave :rotfl:

No idea what to do for money. But hey ho LOL!!!

Yours

Calley X

onomatopoeia99

Pyxis, I am the same as you with conflict, I go out of my way to avoid it. I will try to talk to people to find out what the problem is and see if it can be resolved. This is really, really hard, I find it terrifying trying to start such a conversation with someone that isn't doing what they are supposed to,

The only thing that allows me to do it is that living with not tackling the problem is even worse (and this applies in relationships as well, I can't be the only person that has ever been filled with dread asking "what is wrong?")

Pyxis

Lambyr wrote: »

Pyxis - can't you tell the director you have someone in your group

Tbh, she sounds like someone who doesn't want to be led, but also doesn't want to lead given that she gave up the role previously.

Yes, I think you're right there.

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Pyxis, I am the same as you with conflict, I go out of my way to avoid it. I will try to talk to people to find out what the problem is and see if it can be resolved. This is really, really hard, I find it terrifying trying to start such a conversation with someone that isn't doing what they are supposed to,

The only thing that allows me to do it is that living with not tackling the problem is even worse (and this applies in relationships as well, I can't be the only person that has ever been filled with dread asking "what is wrong?")

Yes, I'm probably going to have to. Otherwise I'll go into ostrich mode and end up avoiding her.
I've got a few days to think about how best to broach it without being accusatory in any way.

It's funny, because there's someone else who can't get enough guidance and is always asking for help! :rotfl: