Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Izadora

codemonkey wrote: »

Does anyone find they've lost the ability to react instinctively to something rather than second guessing and overthinking and blaming a negative reaction on anxiety and fear rather than recognising that it might be your instincts telling you something isn't right?

Definitely. I think that because there are so many occasions where fear and anxiety will affect my initial decision, and having time to consider things will let me reach a much more rational decision, I end up convincing myself that I'm being irrational even when I'm pretty sure that I have genuine misgivings about a situation.

seven-day-weekend

Thanks everyone for all your wise counsel yesterday and I am feeling much better now. We are going to send a card with a nice message in. If we don't hear anything from that, we are going to try to visit them, if they don't want us to come they will have to say so. The ball is in their court then, but I just hope the man doesn't die before we see him again. Not a lot we can do otherwise.

codemonkey

The reason I ask is that I'm utterly wracked with indecision at the moment. I don't trust myself to make the right decision so I just don't do it. And I know not making a decision is actually a decision in itself and a horrible option but I just don't know what to do for the best.

Izadora

Is it an either/or decision?

If so, toss a coin. I know it sounds slightly ridiculous but it's often the only way I can make a decision. Sometimes I know as soon as the coin's in the air which way I hope it lands, which gives me my answer, or I still really can't decide either way so it's as good a way as any to pick. It's how I chose which university to go to

tea_lover

Iz - along the same lines as the "answer really quickly" game in Friends

codemonkey

Izadora wrote: »

Is it an either/or decision?

If so, toss a coin. I know it sounds slightly ridiculous but it's often the only way I can make a decision. Sometimes I know as soon as the coin's in the air which way I hope it lands, which gives me my answer, or I still really can't decide either way so it's as good a way as any to pick. It's how I chose which university to go to

That doesn't seem ridiculous at all. I do the same thing. It usually tells me what I want because if I'm disappointed by the outcome, then I know I actually wanted the other thing. I even use it for pizza :rotfl:

I have to decide whether to fill out forms asking for a return to my old job or stay in the new one. . Neither one makes me happy. Going back would feel like a failure and potentially damage my career in the short term. Staying in the new job makes me want to curl in a ball and cry. This morning, I had a pain in my thigh (probably pre-cramp) and I started thinking it might be a clot and at least if it was I wouldn't have to go to work.

Mr CP us being utterly useless. All he says is 'Do what makes you happy.' None of it makes me happy. If I did what makes me happy, I'd be hanging out with DA dog and eating chocolate, neither of which I can make a living from.

The more I think about all this, the more confused I get. I shouldn't be allowed to make decisions. I need an adultier adult to make them for me.

tea_lover

Code - are you able to break the decision down into smaller parts, or make a list of pros and cons maybe? What does Mr Code think? Or other friends/family?

It's a horrible feeling when it seems like the decision is hanging over you and you have absolutely no idea what to do for the best (very different situation but I really felt that way about whether or not to contact FOH at the start of the year). I got some great advice on here about making some lists of pros and cons for action/no action.

ETA: sorry, bit of cross posting about mr code there.

onomatopoeia99

codemonkey wrote: »

OK, here's an anxiety related question I've been pondering. Does anyone find they've lost the ability to react instinctively to something rather than second guessing and overthinking and blaming a negative reaction on anxiety and fear rather than recognising that it might be your instincts telling you something isn't right?

Exactly that. Far too much not trusting my instincts, second guessing myself and then being paralysed with indecision, resulting in me ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away.

codemonkey

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Exactly that. Far too much not trusting my instincts, second guessing myself and then being paralysed with indecision, resulting in me ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away.

Ono, I think we might have the same coping strategy. Maybe we're really ostriches in human bodies.

codemonkey

tea_lover wrote: »

Iz - along the same lines as the "answer really quickly" game in Friends

That game shouldn't be played without Phoebe's supervision.