Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Izadora

codemonkey wrote: »

I have to decide whether to fill out forms asking for a return to my old job or stay in the new one. . Neither one makes me happy

Try to remember that neither has to be for life and, in the short term, go for whichever makes you less unhappy. You can then work at trying to find something which will make you, if not happy, even less unhappy.

seven-day-weekend

codemonkey wrote: »

That doesn't seem ridiculous at all. I do the same thing. It usually tells me what I want because if I'm disappointed by the outcome, then I know I actually wanted the other thing. I even use it for pizza :rotfl:

I have to decide whether to fill out forms asking for a return to my old job or stay in the new one. . Neither one makes me happy. Going back would feel like a failure and potentially damage my career in the short term. Staying in the new job makes me want to curl in a ball and cry. This morning, I had a pain in my thigh (probably pre-cramp) and I started thinking it might be a clot and at least if it was I wouldn't have to go to work.

Mr CP us being utterly useless. All he says is 'Do what makes you happy.' None of it makes me happy. If I did what makes me happy, I'd be hanging out with DA dog and eating chocolate, neither of which I can make a living from.

The more I think about all this, the more confused I get. I shouldn't be allowed to make decisions. I need an adultier adult to make them for me.

I certainly wouldn't stay in the job that makes you dread going to work. Life is too short. Either go back to the old one (sometimes an army has to retreat, sometimes it is a good manoeuver, you live to fight another day), or look for something else. Or both.

My husband took what most people would say was a backward step; he went back to his old post, but he could not have stayed in the new one, it would have harmed his mental health too much. If you are dreading going to work that much , then never mind harming your career, your career is harming you.

Look after your health, otherwise you AND your career will go under.

Hope this helps. (((((codemonkey))))).

codemonkey

Izadora wrote: »

Try to remember that neither has to be for life and, in the short term, go for whichever makes you less unhappy. You can then work at trying to find something which will make you, if not happy, even less unhappy.

I'm trying to figure that out. OK going to do this here for opinions but may delete

Lets see.
New place pros

• shorter commute
• much more money
• provision for working from home
• better long term prospects
• good benefits package
  

New place cons

• mind numbingly boring
• don't like the culture
• days stretch out endlessly
• air-conditioning issues
• moving to a much worse location in new year
• medical appointments need to be taken in own time and my GP doesn't allow for planning like that.
• restructuring means work isnt what I was told and not really what I like doing
• colleagues don't chat much
• expectation of working for longer hours if there's an issue

Old place pros

• Comfortable
• More development work which is what I enjoy
• Flexible working hours
• More holidays
• medical appointment leave
• better pension
• also able to work from home
• much more understanding of my facial pain

Old place cons

• Much longer commute
• Less money
• Less potential for progression without leaving my field
• Rubbish managers
• Going back would make me feel like a failure
• Potential for management to treat me badly because I came back
• growing workload because they don't replace people who leave/go on maternity leave

codemonkey

Objective opinions welcome.

onomatopoeia99

I have a feeling you aren't going to be happy going back, while it may be "comfortable" the problems that caused you to leave will still be there. Does it have to be one or the other, rather than looking elsewhere for a third option? I remember you saying your field is very specialized, so have no idea how viable that is.

onomatopoeia99

Oh, and after my morning, I'm absolutely with you on the matter of "would rather be developing"!

Power failure in a datacentre, one of our servers consequently drops off the Internet and all hell breaks loose :eek:

codemonkey

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

I have a feeling you aren't going to be happy going back, while it may be "comfortable" the problems that caused you to leave will still be there. Does it have to be one or the other, rather than looking elsewhere for a third option? I remember you saying your field is very specialized, so have no idea how viable that is.

The work I do is used in 3 sectors where I live. One is the sector covered by my old job, one is the one covered by new job and the other is apparently very lucrative and as a consequence, really, really difficult to get into. Most of the jobs available at the moment are either doing exactly what I'm doing (zzz) in the new job only for worse companies or want degree in a subject. I didn't study. I've applied for 5 jobs and 2 agencies in the lucrative sector in the past month , had one outright rejection and am being ignored by the others. I guess there's always the option to use another of my programming languages but it feels like a waste of all the training and experience of my main one.

I'd kill for excitement like that. Today I wrote a prompt to automate a date variable. That took about 5 minutes.

Izadora

Although the lists are fairly evenly matched across the two options I think I'd stick with the new job.

As much as I like comfortable and don't like change, I think the cons of a much longer commute, less money and rubbish managers would be too much for me to consider going back. The growing workload also has the potential to mean permanently longer hours to do your job rather than just the expectation that you'll work longer occasionally if it's needed.

The ability to work from home would also alleviate some of the negative points of the new job, the air-conditioning and lack of chat from colleagues would hopefully be less of a problem if you're not in the office all the time.

Also, is the plus point of the old place being more understanding of your facial pain something which was always the case or something which they're better at because they've had longer to adapt to it?

If the new place has a better chance of progression does that mean that, although you don't like and are bored senseless by what you're doing at the moment, there's the possibility of you ending up with the job you want by staying?

I think Ono's 3rd option of looking for something else is probably the best way to go. In the mean time I'd go for the option of more money because the old job wasn't making you happy either and at least this way you can buy pretty things to cheer you up.

tea_lover

I'd also consider a list of the reasons you were looking to move from the old job in the first place (never hurts to remind yourself when the past is looking particularly rose-tinted).

codemonkey

Argh. I don't know.

Got a meeting with my manager later so will raise my concerns then, hopefully without turning into a crying girl.

For now, I've taken myself off down by the river for a lunchtime stroll. Being around the water always makes me feel better.