Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Lambyr

Haha! It's just kinda weird in a way.

I mean I've no doubt that anytime in the past, before we got together, she'd have done all of those things anyway but I wouldn't have given her the chance.

Before we got together I saw her maybe once every three weeks, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. Now we have a routine, and I see her a lot, so all these things that I would have previously hid from her, or just not mentioned to her she's now aware of.

I guess I'm used to being the carer, and in my head that involves me not being allowed to get sick, and if I did get sick just powering through as best I could cos my mum needs me.

Now, I actually have help... and I dunno, but it's strange. It's welcome, very very welcome, don't get me wrong, but it's still kinda strange.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, that's lovely Lambyr! E clearly loves you just as much as you love her. Enjoy your relationship, you sound like a perfect match of two lovely people!

I want to do the Moon course, I love anything connected to astronomy and space in general.

Pyxis

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I want to do the Moon course, I love anything connected to astronomy and space in general.

Sorry!

I just couldn't resist!

calleyw

Evening my lovelies,

Had a lovely afternoon with lego man at a local farm cafe and ice cream parlour. I had one single flavor of double cherry. lego man had mint choc chip and banoffee and toffee something all in one tub :eek:

One question I wanted to ask is how to accept compliments. Lego man gave me one this afternoon. he said he liked the view. He meant looking at me. I said he would be better off looking outside at the fields outside. His reply was no I prefer the view straight in front of me. I dismissed it by saying what ever. And changed the subject. I feel bad as I know he was being nice. As has been touched on before. I don't even like myself. So find it hard that anyone else could like me and want to spend time with me.

I assume I just smile and say thank you. But I just find it so embarrassing and I want to squirm and just want then person to shut up.

Anyway hugs and squishes and handshakes to all that need them.

Yours

Calley

Pyxis

I know what you mean, Calley! I'd find it difficult, too.

However, I think I'd probably have said thanks, etc. and then "And my view is quite nice, too!" +a grin. Assuming I did like it, of course!

Lambyr

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Aw, that's lovely Lambyr! E clearly loves you just as much as you love her. Enjoy your relationship, you sound like a perfect match of two lovely people!

Thanks

I suppose I should work on not being so surprised! It probably sounds awful but like I say above, I'm just so used to being on my own with things... and I know that's been mostly self-imposed. It's not that E and my other close friends wouldn't have done anything for me, but it's cos I'd never ask them. I've mentioned it before I think but I've got this thing about not displaying vulnerabilities to people so I've always kinda suffered in silence when I'm unwell.

E's always known that I'm a carer obviously cos we've known each other since we were at school so she's followed this part of my life but I always downplayed what I actually do for mum, so I guess I've also been surprised that when she's here now she's actually involving herself in it - like making breakfast for mum this morning. It's not the first time she's done that either. A few times now when I've been really shattered she's let me catch up on sleep and just gone and sorted mum out.

It's all these little things she's been doing and every time I still kinda feel a bit surprised by it. I suppose it's a bit of an adjustment - not a bad one, of course, it actually feels amazing to think that there's someone out there just doing these things for me - but it's that I constructed this personal identity for myself based around a near-fierce independence and now it's not like that any more.

I think I'm getting a bit better slowly... I figure it's about unlearning some habits and feeling able to ask for things, or even just like yesterday saying that I want to spend time with you but I'm not feeling well so I'll understand if you'd prefer not to.

Normally I have a nerdy gamer thing to do on a Friday night but that's off this week so I've asked E whether she'd come round on Friday after work and stay through until Sunday (normally she comes round Sat morning and stays until midday Sunday) and she's said yes to that so I plan on making her a nice dinner on Friday night.

Lambyr

Hi Calley... I'm rubbish at accepting compliments myself. I either clam up uncomfortably or have this knack of reading something completely wrong (like with a photo incident a few months back).

With your comment it's obviously a flirty comment he made... I'm not great at flirting myself but I'd be inclined to go along with Pyxis' idea, or perhaps look back and go "Mine's better!" with a wink.

Pyxis

I've just eaten purslane for the first time ever!

It was offered by the veg box people I buy from every week, so I thought I'd try it.

It's rather nice! A very subtle flavour. You can eat it raw or cook it like spinach or just add it to stir-fries or casseroles, etc.

When I looked it up, it's chock full of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients, especially alpha-linolenic acid.

tea_lover

P cat isn't back

calleyw

tea_lover wrote: »

P cat isn't back

Tea,

how long has he been gone for?

have a hug

Yours

Calley