Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

System

Pyxis wrote: »

Wasn't he supposed to be leaving, a while back?




Georgie, Yes, I use two, one is a preventer which I use twice a day regardless, Symbicort, and one is the reliever, Ventolin, which I use if I feel wheezy in between. I'm using the ventolin a bit more than usual at the moment, mainly, I think, because I've not been doing the Zumba, so everything's got sluggish.

He's been served eviction but he told the landlord he would "make it really difficult" for him :mad: so landlord has backed down as he doesn;t want the hassle of dealing with him. Which means i'm stuck with him. :mad: He wants a council house but knows he isn't going to get one so he's refusing to budge.

faerielight

Thanks for all the support and advice..
Housing associations are merged with council housing under the same bidding system. It's hard with the "postively contributing to society" sanction on bidding from half the properties of you aren't working, and if it's a ground floor flat, with an outside space, they often ban you from bidding on those flats, so it is nigh on impossible to get a flat suitable for my disabilities. I was briefly linked in with shelter, but they dropped me recently due to them thinking I didnt have a cat in hells chance of getting housed by the council on my banding . also if you become homeless you get dropped down to the lowist band, when you used to be bumped up to band A.. it's some messed up rules that the conservatives have authorised local authorities to make up any rules they want.

I honestly would not cope with moving away from here.. It's all I've known since I left home, I am too mashed up mentally and physically to move away.. I have to be near my gastro surgeon and my local hospital, my pd centre and my 2 existing friends.. the fear of it is sending me into a suicidal spiral.

I honestly know that my mental health can take losing this home, and I'm terrified of ending up in a heroin B and B, like I was in, in my 20's. I think because I have no security with my health, no money, no family, this housing eviction threat has been hanging over me for so long, and it is definitely contributing to severe insomnia and my dire mental health.. I am desperate to to get a permanent home, where I can get rid of the shower and have a bath to wash to cope better with the shame around the incontinence and the impact it has on me isolating myself. a home to try and recover from the medical horrors of the last 5 years, and feel safe, with a roof over my head. I'm also terrified of having to give my fur babies up.. it would kill me to lose them.

Rent is so high here, studio flats are £800 and HB is capped at £650 and there is not a single agency that takes HB now, hence the huge homeless population here.

To top it all, I got threatened today via a note on my dashboard.. I was trying to wiggle into the disabled space, a car was in it, so I half parked in the space, I was close to the car, but not touching or bumper to bumper, and they had tonnes of room to reverse.. the note said" if you ever dare to park anywhere near my car ever again I will find you.. I know where you live" It has terrified me,.. I am so sick of being a target for disability hate.. and I'm back to the bin problem again which sparked the disability hate from my street last year, as the council have stopped all collections from my flat and are now denying that they ever picked up my rubbish from my flat for the last year.. It is insanity, and my care agency is in a deadlock, refusing to take the bins to the communal bins so the rubbish is piling up and getting ripped up by the foxes, with the toilet roll that I have to bag up, strewn all over the street, hence the disability hate is starting up again.. It's no coincidence that that note was left, and all the bins were torn up by the foxes last night.

I'm in such aN epic pickle, and the 2 friends I've lost were a shred of security, as one used to cat sit when I was in hospital and the other was my guarantor and advocated for me a lot, made decisions in the ICU that saved my life, acted as family, and was a massive support for 25 years.

System

Lambyr wrote: »

Aww, that sounds lovely!

I've read a few posts of yours about some of your insecurities. For what little it may be worth I kinda understand. My relationship with E is probably the first "proper" relationship I've ever had. 32 and it's taken me this long! I was with a guy for a few years but that wasn't a real relationship - he worked away most of the time so we didn't see each other much at all, and then when circumstances changed and he would be around more often we both kinda realised that it wasn't gonna work out.

I guess I went through life figuring relationships were things meant for other people, not me. That I was meant to be alone. I'm not really confident, I'm moody, I lack social skills, I've never been particularly good at subtlety and tact which makes it really easy for me to inadvertently offend someone... I'm a bit of a mess! I think that when you have a tendency to highlight your own negatives, it seems a little baffling when someone else is willing to overlook all these negative traits you see in yourself to be with you.

But when we are lacking in self-esteem it's quite easy for us to over-emphasise these negatives that we see. And now I'm actually in a proper relationship and trying to be all grown up, I've started to feel that at a certain point there's a sorta personal acceptance... like all these barriers of negativity start to melt away cos your mind focuses less on them and more on the fact that you're having fun with someone else. It's a lot harder to be negative about yourself when there's someone else making an effort to spend time with you. I still get the nagging sense of doubt, the thought that E could do a lot better than me but when she's actually here that nagging negative voice gets drowned out by a feeling of comfort and contentment instead. I even feel relaxed when I'm with her because I've started to feel that nagging voice with all its negativity that causes all this tension and stress is wrong, and that lifts some of that tension. It's like a mental and emotional massage!

Calley, I'm with Lambyr on this one

It can take a long long time to overcome these insecurities. Like for example i really struggle with the fact Swain is so kind and understanding. I;ve spent half my life thinking i'm a bad person. Reinforced by years of bad realtionships with the wrong people. Previously i wasn;t treated well and that became the norm, its what i thought i was worth. So when someone comes into your world, and tells you that actually you're not a bad person, someone who treats you well and with kindness, someone who is there for you and supportive of you, it really throws you! I think my issue is i can;t believe i;ve actually met someone whos right for me. Every relationship i;ve had, i;ve always loved them more than they loved me. It was always one sided. And suddenly i have someone who actually does love me and would move heaven and earth for me. When i get in from work and he wraps his arms around me and gives me the biggest hug, i;m over come with emotion that this person has actually missed me and is happy to see me Its unreal.

But its good. And i do deserve to be happy. Just like you deserve to be happy. It takes some getting used to when you;ve spent your whole life thinking you're not worthy of it. But gradually you start to accept it.

System

Watching a documentary on clean eating http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p040430l/clean-eatings-dirty-secrets

I think this clean eating trend is contributing to eating disorders. I'm not exactly a picture of health but has this been around when i has more issues with my eating i can see that i could have taken it on. Most of these vloggers have no official qualifications and i dont think advocating people cut out so many food groups is positive. I think for some t could easily become an obsession and lead to orthorexia and think personally unless you have a medical condition that requires you to cut out food groups, eating within moderation is a better approach.

codemonkey

MU, I've never been a fan of any diet that cuts anything out really. Much better to try to practice moderation, sez me!! :rotfl:

I am feeling very ignored and left out at the moment, because, reasons. Suddenly I've gone back to being that awkward teenager that was sent to Coventry at school for no reason and was never picked for teams. I just want to wrap myself in the duvet and cry but it's too warm.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, Code! That was me at school too, I totally empathise. You aren't ignored here!

Big hugs, Faerie. I know how scary the prospect of being evicted can be. When my old landlord sold the house I lived in for 16 years I was a complete mess and psychotic within 3 days flat. I then faced the prospect of 2 months to move house while my psychiatrist wanted me to agree to a voluntary section because I was that unwell which would have been the worse timing ever. I totally feel for you, I remember it with horror. Do push the council on the fact that you are a vulnerable adult, they have a duty of care to you. Sometimes councils keep a list of private landlords that accept people on benefits that is not revealed to the public, do check with yours.

Georgiegirl256

((((Code)))) Go and have a hug off that gorgeous DA dog of yours! How did your interview go, or shouldn't I ask?

Well I've started something by showing an interest in cycling! My Uncle phoned this afternoon and asked if I was free and did I want to go out again! Enjoyed it better this time lol! Mostly on the flat and on my own bike, so I didn't fall of this time! :rotfl:

elsien

Unscientific eating fads promoted on TV?
"Dr" Gillian McKeith - need I say more?

Georgiegirl256

elsien wrote: »

Unscientific eating fads promoted on TV?
"Dr" Gillian McKeith - need I say more?

The "oh look at me, I've fainted", while simultaneously pulling up her shorts woman! OMG she was irritating!

Talking of food related things, I was just watching that Superfoods programme (it was on yesterday) and it was saying that studies had shown Saffron to be a good antidepressant. A couple of strands in a glass of milk, or saffron tea. Obviously studies are still in their early days, but results look promising apparently.

codemonkey

Thanks Georgie. I think it went well.

Well done on the cycling. I don't think I've been on a bike since I was 20. Do you have the padded shorts?