Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

elsien

Maybe it was the right house for her, and that's the only reason with no ulterior motives.
My divorced parents now live within a street of each other having lived in different countries for a number of years, even though they have no relationship at all and wouid much prefer never to see each other ever again. There wasn't any game playing going on, just a number of different factors with each that ended up with them living so closely despite everything. And they just ignore each other if they do happen to pass in the street although given they're about 1/4 mile apart it's surprising how infrequently that happens.

Sometimes stuff happen and you can read too much into it when things are getting on top of you. If she's left you alone up till now, it's a fair presumption things will carry on like that.

I'm a dog person. But they are a big responsibility and a tie, so not to be taken on lightly. Working wouldn't preclude you getting one in the future though, you just st need to find the right dog and look into dog walkers or whatever.
Pets can be very therapeutic though.

Izadora

I'm not sure if any of this would be a problem so I'll penguin just in case

My mum's really not well and I'm terrified. I spoke to her yesterday and thought something was wrong and then she and dad popped round and I'm really scared that she's had a stroke.

Her face has dropped on one side and she's not her. She seems sort of okay, if a bit shaky, but she's kind of vacant and just somehow not right. She went to the doctor yesterday so I'm trying to convince myself that they would've known but her doctor is useless (he's previously prescribed her penicillin even though she's majorly allergic) and dismissed my dad's concerns about her face as her talking out of the side of her mouth. Well yeah, she's talking out of the side of her mouth because it's like the right side is frozen.

She's going for blood tests today and I'm trying to convince myself that it'll be okay and they'll just tell her she's got bell's palsy or something else that's not serious but it's not working. IzHe keeps telling me not to think the worst and that she'll be fine but I can't stop worrying. I knew from one phone call that she wasn't right and I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't get better. I've lost count of the number of times that what it would do to her is the only thing that's kept me alive and I really don't know how to cope without her.

I know that I'm in my 40s and it's pathetic but I just want my mum

elsien

If you're still concerned then maybe a trip down to A&E might be in order.
I'm not one for turning up there instead of the GP but sometimes needs must.

Pyxis

Izadora, I agree with Elsien.

Very often family members' instincts about a relative are more relevant than a GP's.

You know something is wrong, and it may be something simple, but any red flags should be ruled out first, so yes, I'd take her to A&E.



There was a lot of publicity about FAST, and I have a little card with this on......

The main stroke symptoms can be remembered with the word F.A.S.T.:

Face – the face may have dropped on 1 side, the person may not be able to smile, or their mouth or eye may have drooped.

Arms – the person with suspected stroke may not be able to lift both arms and keep them there because of weakness or numbness in 1 arm.

Speech – their speech may be slurred or garbled, or the person may not be able to talk at all despite appearing to be awake; they may also have problems understanding what you're saying to them.

Time – it's time to dial 999 immediately if you notice any of these signs or symptoms.


There are other symptoms as well, which may or may not accompany any of the above......


- complete paralysis of 1 side of the body.
- sudden loss or blurring of vision.
- dizziness.
- confusion.
- difficulty understanding what others are saying.
- problems with balance and co-ordination.
- difficulty swallowing (dysphagia)

Stoke

elsien wrote: »

Maybe it was the right house for her, and that's the only reason with no ulterior motives.
My divorced parents now live within a street of each other having lived in different countries for a number of years, even though they have no relationship at all and wouid much prefer never to see each other ever again. There wasn't any game playing going on, just a number of different factors with each that ended up with them living so closely despite everything. And they just ignore each other if they do happen to pass in the street although given they're about 1/4 mile apart it's surprising how infrequently that happens.

Sometimes stuff happen and you can read too much into it when things are getting on top of you. If she's left you alone up till now, it's a fair presumption things will carry on like that.

I'm a dog person. But they are a big responsibility and a tie, so not to be taken on lightly. Working wouldn't preclude you getting one in the future though, you just st need to find the right dog and look into dog walkers or whatever.
Pets can be very therapeutic though.

Thank you for your reply. Despite my fears, I've spoken to the family and I'm going to be pragmatic. I'm aware that the home she has bought is on my estate, but it's one of the new builds which means you get all the government help to buy stuff..... so it could be exactly as you describe, right price, right location etc. I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

One strange thing however, she has subsequently blocked and removed my entire family and myself from all of her social media and WhatsApp and stuff. I have no particular issue with that, as we haven't spoken in months, but I know my family were surprised as they had occasionally congratulated her on things like her new job. No hard feelings kind of 'mutual respect' sort of thing....

It's a good thing us being blocked from each other. My friends have been saying for months I should do it, I suspect hers have been telling her to. It was just a matter of who first

I'm not a position to own a dog unfortunately. I do occasionally work from home, but I would want to every day. Not fair to leave a doggy to be sad and lonely all day.

My mates have basically forced me onto tinder now..... It's really not me at all. Very cringe, but they think it'll help with my low confidence. :-\

Izadora

I remember seeing the adverts about FAST but could only remember the face and arms parts.

I spoke to my dad this morning and apparently she's been like this for nearly a week. He hadn't said anything because he didn't want to worry me and was waiting to see what the doctor said.

They've changed her blood pressure meds, it was absolutely sky high, and hopefully that will make a difference but I've nagged at both of them to go back to the doctor and to try A&E if they're not happy.

She did at least admit today that she knows she's not herself, yesterday she was adamant that there's nothing wrong, but I'm scared that she's always going to be like this now. She couldn't even manage making dinner the other day, she managed to boil the pans dry, and dad has to go round the kitchen turning off the hob rings whenever she attempts to cook anything. I can understand that he didn't want to worry me and was hoping she'd get better but I can't believe he didn't say anything. I just feel so helpless.

onomatopoeia99

Stoke wrote: »

My mates have basically forced me onto tinder now.....

Start dating again when you think you're ready, not when people tell you to. Mates that won't take no for an answer or respect your choices are not mates at all.

I do have experience of ending up in another relationship too soon after the failure of a previous one and it did not go well for me. Too soon in this context was two years.

onomatopoeia99

Izadora wrote: »

I just feel so helpless.

I understand this completely. I'm going through something similar with my Dad, not a stroke but a heart problem that will only get worse and severely limits what he can do. Even a flight of stairs is too much without a rest half way up. We (and the doctors) don't know how long before it gives up completely and there's nothing we can do, so helpless is exactly the right word for how it feels.

Best wishes for your mum.

Stoke

Izadora wrote: »

I remember seeing the adverts about FAST but could only remember the face and arms parts.

I spoke to my dad this morning and apparently she's been like this for nearly a week. He hadn't said anything because he didn't want to worry me and was waiting to see what the doctor said.

They've changed her blood pressure meds, it was absolutely sky high, and hopefully that will make a difference but I've nagged at both of them to go back to the doctor and to try A&E if they're not happy.

She did at least admit today that she knows she's not herself, yesterday she was adamant that there's nothing wrong, but I'm scared that she's always going to be like this now. She couldn't even manage making dinner the other day, she managed to boil the pans dry, and dad has to go round the kitchen turning off the hob rings whenever she attempts to cook anything. I can understand that he didn't want to worry me and was hoping she'd get better but I can't believe he didn't say anything. I just feel so helpless.

Hi Iza, firstly thanks for helping with your advice to me above.

I know absolutely nothing so please tell me to shut up if I'm not helping or worrying you more, as I don't know anything about strokes.... at all. Not a clue.

However, I watched my nan lose a battle with vascular dementia in 2017. Are you 100% it is a stroke? I believe the actual outward symptoms can be loosely similar. She boiled pans dry, filled the sink and flooded her kitchen, her problem when in her own house was turning the TV volume up to deafeningly loud because she couldn't change. She also suffered from the 'stroke-like' face drop on one side, but we were told it was not a stroke but the dementia.

Like I said, I don't want to worry you. Just thought I'd say a little of my own experience.

Izadora

Stoke, thank you. I had no idea that vascular dementia could cause her face to do that and it's something which would make sense.

The doctor was asking questions which suggest he was checking for dementia and talking to her is similar to how my auntie was when she was first diagnosed with dementia.

Ono, I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

Getting old sucks.