Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

onomatopoeia99

Hi HBS :wave:

jobbingmusician

Lovely to see you, HBS! :beer:

heartbreak_star

Lovely to be back.

Apologies for my disappearing - I had an awful time with jobs and contracts and mental health and money and then I forgot my login and BLARGH!

But I'm back. I have missed you all and am going to go play catch up

HBS x

mellymoo74

heartbreak_star wrote: »

*peeks around the door*

*waves shyly*

HBS x

HBS!!!!! xxxxx
How are you? Xxx
I maybe a bit excited to see you so going over there to calm down

heartbreak_star

I am very well Melly and I am just as excited to see you

Hope you are also well my lovely

HBS x

System

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Lovely to be back.

Apologies for my disappearing - I had an awful time with jobs and contracts and mental health and money and then I forgot my login and BLARGH!

But I'm back. I have missed you all and am going to go play catch up

HBS x

Nice to see you back! :j

Sorry you've had a bad time recently,hope youre feeling a bit better now

Savvy_Sue

I'm usually just a concerned lurker so forgive the intrusion, but reading what jobbing wrote about volunteering thought I might have something useful to add.

I suspect most foodbanks are not open at weekends but could be wrong.

However NOW is just the time to enquire about volunteering over Christmas!

Another thought for Stoke, is there any chance to volunteer with a local children's football team?

Or is there anything like Nightstop in your area? Sounds like you have space.

You'll have to Google because I'm not on my laptop. Volunteer plus your town / city / county should get you somewhere sensible. Add your interests to refine further.

And going back to Music Day - join a choir! They are usually DESPERATE for men ...

Izadora

Hi HBS, lovely to see you back and I hope everything's calmed down for you xx

Stoke

Thank you for your replies. Obviously now that it's Wednesday, I'm at least feeling a little better. I don't know if time heals or not, but it's a much nicer feeling when it's not the anniversary of your relationship breakdown... It's still hard though, really hard. I do miss her, despite how much she wronged me at times.

20aday wrote: »

Well I’m slightly older than you but some of your life resonates with me.

Something happened to me just over 15 years ago and for a long time I’ve thrown myself into work and I’ve lost weight but like you I feel as if I’ve achieved nothing.

You and I couldn’t be more wrong, despite what we think/feel. Losing weight is an achievement. It isn’t easy but you are taking a step in the right direction. Walking into a room full of strangers isn’t easy either but you’ve done it on a weekly basis... which is more than I would have done-so that’s another achievement.

Have you ever sought counselling for your relationship? It’s easy for me to say when I need to get counselling myself (last week I took an overdose because everything got too much) but you’ve been through something traumatic... please don’t bottle it up.

As for Tinder... well I’ve been single nearly seven years and have used certain dating apps but needless to say they will leave you feeling even more isolated... are there any form of social events near you at all?

Appreciate you are tired after a long day at work but depression (which I suspect you might have, without realising) does that to you-everything just feels like an effort and you go through the motions.

Whatever you end up taking away from my reply remember... you are not alone and there are people out there who will listen.

I know that my weight loss is an achievement, and I am proud of how far I've come with that. However, it's all the other stuff that I miss. The going abroad together.... visiting places and experiencing the world. Despite the bad stuff, we did a lot of that together and it was often good. I'm feeling a bit lost in that regard.

I have thought about counselling. My mum thought I needed to go and visit a psychologist and I think she worries about my mental state at times. I know she feels that I changed when I met her, and that when we broke up she assumed I would change right back. I haven't really.

I just don't feel things like Tinder are for me. My best mate is really keen for me to get on it, so that I can meet new people, but I'm not confident enough to boast about myself. I am not the kind of guy who writes "I'm this that and the other". I much prefer people who get to know me, from me.

I really hope you are wrong about me having depression, but it would explain a lot. I think I suffer from either a form of depression or anxiety. The problem is, I am terrified of getting diagnosed. Once you are diagnosed, everytime you're asked that question "Do you have a history of mental health issues such as depression", you have to reply yes. I'm terrified of being prejudiced for it, for the rest of my life. For a long time, I've felt as though if I persevere long enough, it will get better because it has too. My anxiety is a concern though because I feel it's getting worse. I hate saying no to people, but I am also afraid of saying yes because I feel I can't commit to things due to work. I'm equally terrified of being disliked... so rather than say "No, I'm sorry", I will hide away off WhatsApp for a couple of days rather than reply, which naturally worries people who are concerned for my wellbeing.

I've known for a long time I wasn't normal, since I was a kid, but at least before I was able to think and operate for myself. At the moment, I feel like an absolute mess.

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Strangely enough I was thinking of a food bank. I just wondered how volunteering at one fitted with a full time job (are they open in the evenings? I think they should be! - as it would be easier for parents to get there if one was working, given that so many people who use food banks now have part time jobs). The other alternative (which sounds SOOOOO trite and which I would have resisted like mad as a younger person) is evening classes. But actually there might be something there even related to work - if you did some personal development classes at least you'd meet some new people. (Although it might have the disadvantage that you might be in professional mode and thus less relaxed).

Oh dear, that's all a bit stream of consciousness.... I'll carry on thinking!

It would have to be evenings for me unless it was maybe at the weekend. It doesn't sound a bad idea. I've not thought of classes. Wonder what I could do.... it would be an interesting option for a career change. Not that I am considering a career change currently, but I've been thinking for a while that I really am not sure I want to be doing this forever.

heartbreak_star

Caught up MU and Izadora, it's so good to be back and to see you both and in fact everyone on here!

Stoke - some good advice and I hope things pick up for you soon.

Sunny you're doing marvellously, it will be sorted soon

Love to all!

HBS x