Throwing out my 19 year old step son!

C_Mababejive

OK ive read page one and dipped in and out of the other pages just to shoot the breeze and get the flavour of how it is going.

The bottom line is that almost no mother is going to put a man before her child. Even if that child is the natural father , she will likely put the child before him.

Think Mrs Baylock and Damien !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8onGXRDlhh0


The more you bear down on this lad, the more it will erode your relationship with the mother.

So what is there to do ?

I can see a few options;


1)You can keep bearing down on him and suffer the damage and stress that it causes , mostly to yourself.

2)Just forget about it, get on with your life but dont facilitate or subsidise his lifestyle


3) Accept that this is no longer working and set the wheels in motion for divorce and get the heck out of there.

Maybe option(3) is whats needed to wake everyone up. Of course you will have to assess your finance before you press the fire button on that one...

forgotmyname

C_Mababejive wrote: »

The bottom line is that almost no mother is going to put a man before her child. Even if that child is the natural father , she will likely put the child before him.

I would believe you but it happens all too often that a mother puts a holiday before her children never mind a man.

Mrs_pbradley936

If I was in your position I would be leaving the entire lot! The step-son, the wife/mother that always takes his side, the bad finances etc.

You might only have to do it until they wake up OR it may be permanent either way put yourself before those that clearly have scant regard for your feelings.

heuchera

peachyprice wrote: »

What absolute rubbish. You can't change the locks and lock someone out of a property they part-own just because they don't earn their own money, what planet are you on?

You CAN..

Anyone can change the locks on their property. And anyone can call the Police and report a drug user who is living in the property

but I doubt if he will.

Mojisola

heuchera wrote: »

You CAN..

Anyone can change the locks on their property.

Quite right - his wife could get a locksmith in and change the locks again.

Neither have to the right to exclude the other owner from the property.

heuchera

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Not necessarily.


I know some very happy ex-wifes who lead a fabulous lifestyle.

I'm sure you do. The system used to be heavily in favour of the woman. The man used to have to keep his wife until she married again, even if the marriage broke down due to her having an affair.

I would hope that's no longer the case but I believe you when you say some women get what they can from their ex-husbands and lead a lovely life.

Doesn't make it right and it doesn't do much to dispel the idea that a lot of men have, that women are gold diggers.

C_Mababejive

What drugs are we talking about anyway..?

GlasweJen

Of course if you left and took the youngest you'd be entitled to child benefit for her, possibly child tax credits and mum would have you pay you child support so it might not be all that bleak for you financially.

I'd thank any father who took me away from a mum like the one described.

balletshoes

GlasweJen wrote: »

Of course if you left and took the youngest you'd be entitled to child benefit for her, possibly child tax credits and mum would have you pay you child support so it might not be all that bleak for you financially.

I'd thank any father who took me away from a mum like the one described.

and yet on his previous recent thread the OP described his ex-wife as - "She has her flaws but being a bad mother isn't one of them"

POPPYOSCAR

balletshoes wrote: »

and yet on his previous recent thread the OP described his ex-wife as - "She has her flaws but being a bad mother isn't one of them"

Yes.


I really think the other thread needs to be read to put this one into context.