Should I feel bad for not wanting my boyfriend's mum at my "baby shower"?

duchy

Not quite how you presented the facts originally is it

Most people wouldn't regard your situation as a normal situation or birth.

Most people would have a good sob in that situation but most people aren't faced with a birth like that .

There's far too many Mums to be told half the story about the horror stories of others and go into labour a lot more frightened than they need to be. It's like men and *their* war stories.......Some have them but there's a time and place to tell them.

I had a fairly scary time in that a doctor messed up badly and had I not queried his decision my son could have been at serious risk ......(too busy showing off to a pretty medical student instead of listening) but I wouldn't dream of telling it as a war story to a pregnant Mum.

jjj1980 wrote: »

As other posters have said, what a rude post!

No, I was not a really young mother. I was 29, married and during my week in hospital pre-birth, had realised my then-husband was extremely unsupportive and completely unbothered by the situation being so dangerous.

At the time, the hospital had just admitted how close to losing both me and the baby it had come, I was in a hospital 50 odd miles from home, husband hadn't bothered to come see us as it was his mates birthday, despite my daughter being 2 days old, I still hadn't been able to see as she was in NICU and I was hooked to God-knows what in a High Dependancy Unit. I was incredibly scared and wanted someone there for me instead of being surrounded by strangers.

surveyqueenuk

duchy wrote: »

Not quite how you presented the facts originally is it

Most people wouldn't regard your situation as a normal situation or birth.

Which just goes to show we know nothing about other people's circumstances so it's kinder not to judge.

DrivingMissDaisy

Has this thread wandered off into something else completely ??

pebbles88

Some posts have been removed

surveyqueenuk

It has wandered somewhat and yes, some posts have definitely been removed.

Sorry your thread got a bit derailed Lulu. How are you feeling today? Are things seeming any clearer for you?

lulu_92

Ooh looks like a mass post removal!

I'm a lot better now, thanks surveyqueen. I've made my peace with my decision. I'm just struggling a bit overall. I was so upset on Saturday about everything, and spoke to OH and he made me feel so much better too. Sorting my house out helped as well, actually made me feel a bit more prepared.

I must thank everyone who gave me constructive advice and didn't just think I was being a horrible person.

barbiedoll

Preparing for your first baby (or two!) can be a stressful time and I think that sometimes, we just try too hard.

I can remember having a complete meltdown over the list of what you're supposed to buy for your new baby. The list included "plain white towels" but I had already bought (white) towels with a tiny coloured embroidery design in the corner. My husband thought I'd lost the plot when I shouted that we had to buy completely new towels and that I was going to be a terrible mother who can't get anything right, etc etc etc.
:rotfl::rotfl:

Jagraf

My best one was crying because I had bought the wrong colour muslin squares :eek:

CathA

Jagraf wrote: »

My best one was crying because I had bought the wrong colour muslin squares :eek:

I rang my mum to ask if it would do any harm if I didn't iron the baby's vests! My mum told me not to be so bloody stupid , we grew up perfectly fine with unironed vests!

CathA

And just so you know, lulu 92 , I've had twin girls so any twin questions you want to ask, carry on. They're now 24, managed to survive unironed vests quite well! X