How do I tactfully tell partner that his jacket is hideous?

missbiggles1

heuchera wrote: »

No, missbiggles1, but they usually concede that their opinion might or might not not be correct. I do sometimes wonder if people post on here (often under multiple AEs) because they have trouble functioning (socially) in the real world :rotfl:

I don't think I can be much clearer, and Counting Pennies thread was simply asking people to be nicer to each other. No-one is saying that people shouldn't voice their opinions or disagree with others.

@paddy's mum the poster you are referring to is renowned on this board for overreacting to things, and spectacularly missing the point :rotfl: I usually just scroll past their posts, but occasionally, and against my better judgement I do pick her up on things she has written.

I'm not sure whether that rather unpleasant comment was aimed at me (do as I say, not as I do comes to mind;)) but I have some opinions (blue is a lovely colour) which are purely personal and others (animal cruelty is wrong) which I'd defend vigorously and strongly assert that those holding a different opinion are wrong.

enthusiasticsaver

If I was the OP I would not say or do anything to the jacket but give her OH some space to grieve as bereavement affects people in different ways. My OH has an old anorak and some comfy jeans which he insists on wearing round diy shops but that is his choice. He knows I don't like them and think they look awful but wears them anyway and it doesn't bother me. What does it matter?
I do think some people on this thread have been quite nasty and suggested she lacked empathy which I do not think is the case. If she lacked empathy she would have just said something straightaway to her OH. There are ways to get your opinion across without attacking the OP.

catkins

heuchera wrote: »

No, not everybody thinks their opinion is right. Most (mature) people accept that their opinion is just that - their opinion!

Exactly. I have opinions, as we all do but I am not conceited enough to think they are always the right opinions.

mumps

heuchera wrote: »

I think Per Una was originally meant for middle-aged women, maybe around age 40.. but older women started buying them thinking it would make them look younger, and as a result they changed their styles and shapes to suit the older women.

They're now usually worn by women from about 50-90 :rotfl:

50 to 90 is a bit sweeping.

mumps

heuchera wrote: »

No, not everybody thinks their opinion is right. Most (mature) people accept that their opinion is just that - their opinion!

But destroying other people's property or "losing" it is wrong morally, legally anyway you look at it. The coat belongs to her husband, the suggestions of destroying or losing it are absolutely disgusting. There would be a divorce in my house if that sort of thing happened, how could you trust a partner after that?

mumps

Surely adults can talk about things without having to put people on ignore because they don't agree with them? I might put someone on ignore if they were making racist comments for example but just because I don't agree with them on something? There are people on this thread that I have disagreed with on some issues in the past but equally I have agreed with them on other issues, we aren't back in the playground are we.

Back to the OP, my husband and I don't always share the same taste in clothes but my motto is if he doesn't ask I don't comment and if I don't ask I don't want a comment. If he likes the coat it is his own business whether he bought it, won it in a raffle or kept it as a comfort. I can't believe how rude the OPs friend was.

heuchera

mumps wrote: »

Surely adults can talk about things without having to put people on ignore because they don't agree with them? I might put someone on ignore if they were making racist comments for example but just because I don't agree with them on something? There are people on this thread that I have disagreed with on some issues in the past but equally I have agreed with them on other issues, we aren't back in the playground are we.

If someone is making offensive posts, then those posts should be reported. I rarely hit the report button but I have reported someone on another board for calling the holocaust the holohoax and going on to say how it's all a con and it never happened. They are entitled to their opinions of course but someone Jewish could be reading that and it was very offensive.

But the cat-fights on this board are rarely about anything that is genuinely offensive. It's just the usual pot-stirrers over-reacting and making things unpleasant for other users of the forum.

Andypandyboy

I don't see the point of the ignore function at all. Either agree to dsagree or if the post is offensive to you report it.

suki1964

Andypandyboy wrote: »

I don't see the point of the ignore function at all. Either agree to dsagree or if the post is offensive to you report it.

I like the ignore button

I have three active people on it. One because of their totally inane ( imo) posts, one because of their sectarian views and one because he finds my waving hand offensive

Only one of them I find personally offensive. But other people don't and so I just ignore him rather then get riled up. I don't feel the need to report his posts, never feel the need to report anyone's. What one person finds offensive, another won't

Pollycat

heuchera wrote: »

I had an account on here many years ago (2008-ish) and I stopped posting, mainly due to people's behaviour over on another board. I no longer had the account password nor the email address so was advised by MSE to start a new one. I can tell people my old user name if people want? It's not a state secret, lol

Personally I have no interest in who you used to be.