How do I tactfully tell partner that his jacket is hideous?

Georgiegirl256

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I would expect and thank my husband to let me know if I was wearing something he thought truly dreadful. That is as long as it is done tactfully

My point is though that he obviously likes it. My husband wears this mustard coloured jumper that he's had for years. I don't particulary like it, but he loves it and has a special attachment to it, so who am I to tell him not to wear it.

74jax

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I wear my Dad's watch sometimes too. I never usually wear jewellery and watches, but now and again I'll wear his watch that he wore every single day. It makes me feel close to him.

I can relate to the hubby flip flop thing too. Mine wears shorts for most of the year.

I do sometimes think we're related.

Georgiegirl256

74jax wrote: »

I do sometimes think we're related.

I know! It's spooky isn't it!

Alikay

My DH wears my late dad's jacket, and he's been dead 14 years. We jokingly, but fondly, always refer to it as "my/your Dead Dad's Adidas Jacket" I like him wearing it even though changing fashion means it now lives in the car boot as an emergency coat if we're out and the weather changes!

duchy

heuchera wrote: »

I think this is it. The OP IS sensitive to the fact that her partner is recently bereaved and she doesn't want to hurt his feelings, but feels embarrassed for him when she sees him wearing this awful item of clothing which he'd never normally dream of wearing. The coat is even getting comments from other people.

Really is what other people think more important to the OP than what her husband thinks or feels ?

heuchera

duchy wrote: »

Really is what other people think more important to the OP than what her husband thinks or feels ?

Without knowing the man, or having seen how bad the jacket is, it's hard to say for sure, but OP says it's "hideous". That's why I asked in my post why he's wearing it. Perhaps he likes it!



To draw an analogy if you usually wear this kind of shoes..


and then started wearing this kind, inherited by your dead relative


..people would raise their eyebrows a bit and someone close to you might wonder how to tactfully tell you that the shoes are awful and look really out of place on you.

That is what I read from the OP's post. I don't think she's necessarily being thoughtless or insensitive.

heuchera

I should say I do get where people are coming from, when they talk about grieving and not wanting to part with an item belonging to the deceased. It's a sensitive subject, and I'm sure no offence was meant.

74jax

heuchera wrote: »

Without knowing the man, or having seen how bad the jacket is, it's hard to say for sure, but OP says it's "hideous". That's why I asked in my post why he's wearing it. Perhaps he likes it!



To draw an analogy if you usually wear this kind of shoes..


and then started wearing this kind, inherited by your dead relative


..people would raise their eyebrows a bit and someone close to you might wonder how to tactfully tell you that the shoes are awful and look really out of place on you.

That is what I read from the OP's post. I don't think she's necessarily being thoughtless or insensitive.

I can't believe someone would actually think this. I really can't. After the death of a close relative? Why would it even cross your mind.

If someone said ( and I can't imagine anyone being so......tactless) that watch doesn't really go with your usual dress sense, I'm sure my reply of 'it was my dad's, he's just died' would be answer enough. Though why the subject would even come up is beyond me.

heuchera

74jax wrote: »

If someone said ( and I can't imagine anyone being so......tactless) that watch doesn't really go with your usual dress sense, I'm sure my reply of 'it was my dad's, he's just died' would be answer enough. Though why the subject would even come up is beyond me.

I agree but a watch or an item of jewellery is a bit different to wearing an elderly person's clothing/shoes/nightdress etc :eek:

I hope OP comes back to the thread, but I have my doubts whether she will.

74jax

heuchera wrote: »

I agree but a watch or an item of jewellery is a bit different to wearing an elderly person's clothing/shoes/nightdress etc :eek:

I hope OP comes back to the thread, but I have my doubts whether she will.

Hubby has his dad's bath robe. Couldn't get much closer than actual underwear.... But he likes wearing it.