How do I tactfully tell partner that his jacket is hideous?

EpsomOldie

no1catman wrote: »

And besides - Roy Cropper is one of the few 'decent' characters in Corrie!

Ha ha. It's ages since I watched Corrie, but Roy is a fab character.

Re the jacket, I agree that the OP's Husband gets comfort from wearing it. I kept my late Dad's fleecy gilet thing and wear it a lot up t'allotment and when I'm helping at the RDA yard. It's almost threadbare and the zip keeps sticking but I won't chuck it.

A lovely idea I saw a while ago was a big patchwork cushion made from bits of tweed and other fabric that had come from the clothes of a much-loved rellie. It was used continuously, and as cushions are a comfort item in their own right, it seemed particularly apt that the late rellie in his/her cushion form would be part of things and get cuddled and leaned on regularly. (Very MSE too.)

I do think the OP needs to handle this sensitively though. No matter how old you are, a parent dying is still a huge milestone if only because we ourselves are reminded that we've been shunted another few steps along the conveyor belt of life.

SailorSam

I've got a Roy Cropper type anorak and i wear it all the time
.
Nothing wrong with it.

tea_lover

I'm glad someone quoted the OP as I get the impression it will be quickly deleted.

TBagpuss

Let it go. It oddoesn't affect you if he wears something that isn't that great.

If a friend makes a comment thatn why not tell them the truth "It belonged to his dad, it gives him a connection to him"

If there is ever an occasion when its importnat that you both dress up (maybe attending a wedding) then you can of course suggest that he wear one of his other jackets for that ocassion, but that can be done gently.

It may be the in time, he will wear it less, or downgrade it to a gardening / mucky jobs garment, but in the mean time, since he presumably gets some confort from it, let him grieve in his own way.

IF he asks you for your opinion then you can tell him "It reminds me of yor dad, but I don't think it does a lot for you in terms of style"

duchy

I'm guessing the OP has never lost anyone really close to really understand.

As for the friend who was rude enough to comment - Words fail me that the OP instead of witchly agreeing didn't just say ..."It was his Dad's" or maybe she did and didn't realize why the friend was squirming- Most people would ghave caught on and felt awful they'd made such a crass comment

Person_one

If your friends comment again, say: "It was his dad's, and wearing it brings him some comfort in his grief." Then look them in the eye until they feel thoroughly as ashamed of themselves as you hopefully do right now.

System

Just tell him you think it doesnt really suit him and leave it. Its sentimental to him. You cant trample all over his grief and maybe now isnt the right time to tell him anyway. Its probably too soon after losing his Dad.

bugslet

duchy wrote: »

I'm guessing the OP has never lost anyone really close to really understand.

But not everyone else feels the same way. My mothers clothes had gone to the tip/charity shop within six weeks. When Mr Bugs died, the nursing home said very kindly that I could wait till after Xmas to clear his room. Confused them dreadfully because within three days the room was clear and stuff either taken to the tip or donated to the home.

Between parents and Mr Bugs, the amount of sentimental stuff I've kept could probably fit in a small suitcase - jewellery and photos is about it really. Things don't have a connection to the deceased for me.

However, yes, just let the guy be. People grieve in different ways and if he wants and feels better for wearing the anorak, it doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. In time it'll be downgraded to a gardening anorak. Having an accident is a definite no-no.

paddy's_mum

I bet his Mum is both proud and thankful that he wants some of his Dad's things.

suki1964

Hubby has some of his dad's clothes, his dad was in in 60's and hubby was in his 30's. I wouldn't dream of saying anything to him about chucking them out, even now nearly 20 years on. If he pulls out some socks which were his dad's, he always says ' can't believe it's x years now' and has a few moments

It comforts him so who am I to take that away


I wear step dads dressing gown. He was 6ft plus and 17 stone. I'm barely 5 ft and 10 stone. It can go round me twice and trails along the floor. But it's my reach for most days