Disappointed not to be Maid of Honor

Pollycat

thorsoak wrote: »

Are you married? Did she help you arrange your wedding?

Maybe its a generation me thing - but when I got married, my husband and I arranged OUR wedding with lots of input from our families. Best friends may be important - but arranging a wedding is surely between husband and wife?

I didn't get from the OP's posts that she wants to help with arranging the wedding.
She wants to help in other ways:

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

I was looking forward to helping her get ready, and sharing all the special memories with her, planning her hen party and I feel I need to step aside and let her sister do all of that.

You may not see something as a big deal but if it's important enough for someone to take the time to put together a thread to ask for advice, if you don't see the 'problem' as important enough, just move right along.

meritaten

It may seem 'trivial' to some - but, a best friend can be closer than family.
OP - I wouldn't mention to your friend that you feel hurt - but if you aren't 'part of the wedding party' take a step back and let them get on with it. and make it plain that the wedding cake is your 'Present' to the happy couple. and knowing how much they cost its a very generous present! the fact you make all the friends and families cakes should NOT devalue this.
and some posters may be right - it may be a tradition in the family to have sisters as bridesmaids or only close blood relatives. I was bridesmaid to my aunt and his neice was bridesmaid - I don't think uncle saw the other bridesmaid more than once or twice after - in forty years of marriage. they didn't even exchange Christmas cards I know.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Same here. *I* didn't spend a lot of my life planning OUR wedding. It took 6 weeks from start to finish!

So don't include ME in your 'pretty much all women' generalisation either!

I realise my wording caused confusion: apologies. I meant that those that do spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing over weddings are nearly all women, not that nearly all women do this. I've never met a man who's had a prior opinion on suits, flowers, colour theme, music and a dream venue, but perhaps there are some.

burlington6

OP it's not the end of the world.

Could be worse, I had a friend who got married to a nasty piece of work. When planning the wedding he was told that he could only invite friends who were in a relationship. He's the whipped type so just agreed

cyantist

indiepanda wrote: »

In the unlikely event I get married, I would automatically ask her - partly as it would seem rude if I didn't given I was hers, and mainly because it saves having to pick which of my friends to ask and risking hurting someone who thinks it should have been "their" job.

It doesn't save this hassle. When I got married we were only 21 and didn't have much money so I only had one bridesmaid who was my sister.

My best friend at the time thought she should be bridesmaid, as it was down to her that hubby and I first got together (because she got drunk and told me he liked me when I had no idea). Though as we were all living together at the time I'm pretty sure I'd have figured it out at some point over the next 2 years anyway!

When she got married 2 years later, she had 4 bridesmaids but not me, because I hadn't picked her to be mine.

indiepanda

cyantist wrote: »

It doesn't save this hassle. When I got married we were only 21 and didn't have much money so I only had one bridesmaid who was my sister.

My best friend at the time thought she should be bridesmaid, as it was down to her that hubby and I first got together (because she got drunk and told me he liked me when I had no idea). Though as we were all living together at the time I'm pretty sure I'd have figured it out at some point over the next 2 years anyway!

When she got married 2 years later, she had 4 bridesmaids but not me, because I hadn't picked her to be mine.

Oh dear, some people can be so petty. This is why I always said in the unlikely event of me getting married I would plan to do it overseas with no guests, just me and husband. Too many people seem to think they should have a say in an event that really isn't about them and they aren't paying for.