Would you end your marriage (or relationship,) if your partner didn't want children?

AubreyMac

A middle aged man marries a woman some 20 years younger of child bearing age.


Would it really never occur to him that she may get to a point that she'd want [her own] children?

jackieblack

AubreyMac wrote: »

A middle aged man marries a woman some 20 years younger of child bearing age.


Would it really never occur to him that she may get to a point that she'd want [her own] children?

Or, equally


A woman of child bearing age marries a man 20 years older than her.


Would it really never occur to her that he may not wish to have any more children?
I don't know many people who'd want to go back through the 'baby' stage when their existing children (5 between them) are teenagers/young adults.

AubreyMac

jackieblack wrote: »

Or, equally


A woman of child bearing age marries a man 20 years older than her.


Would it really never occur to her that he may not wish to have any more children?
I don't know many people who'd want to go back through the 'baby' stage when their existing children (5 between them) are teenagers/young adults.

Of course, but him being older and supposedly wiser and all that.


My quote wasn't aimed specifically at Gary/Danielle but any couple with a big age difference.


Rod Stewart said in interviews the effects of marrying someone (Rachael Hunter) when she was only 21, he wouldn't advise it because at that age she 'hadn't lived' (those were his words). In your 20s you may think you know what you want and don't want but that is more likely to change as you get older.


Des O'Connor said on Piers Morgan's show, his response to comments that he's selfish for being an old dad was that when his current wife wanted a kid and he didn't as he already had 3 or 4 adult children from a previous marriage, he felt it would be selfish of him to deny her children just because he is older and already had some.


Of course, anyone can change their mind on anything at any age, but I think it's much more likely your beliefs will evolve from your 20's than if you were in your 50s.

mumps

My sons were 18 and 15 when we decided to have number 3, two years later we had number 4. Some people are happy to start again, incidentally we had talked about maybe having another and one day the then 14 year old said, "Mum if you are thinking of having another baby I think you should get a move on." Worrying about what the older ones might think about a new baby was one of the things that had stopped us going ahead. Nine months later baby number 3 was born.

Back to the OP yes I think it could have made me end our marriage. I know someone who didn't have children as her husband didn't want them. She had a breakdown when she went through the menopause and realised her chance of a family was over. He told me he regretted his decision and if he had realised how much it meant to her he would have made a different choice. Another friend wanted children and her OH didn't, he left her when she was recovering from a hysterectomy after about 20 years of marriage. She is now 70 and on her own. She never talks about children but it seems sad, she would have been a brilliant mum.

missbiggles1

mumps wrote: »

My sons were 18 and 15 when we decided to have number 3, two years later we had number 4. Some people are happy to start again, incidentally we had talked about maybe having another and one day the then 14 year old said, "Mum if you are thinking of having another baby I think you should get a move on." Worrying about what the older ones might think about a new baby was one of the things that had stopped us going ahead. Nine months later baby number 3 was born.

Now, that's what I call getting a move on!

scooby088

I have never want to father a child and I am now 41 and my mind hasn't changed. I was always upfront in any relationship I had that I didn't want any off spring and ended one relationship when I wouldn't change my mind.

duchy

Friends of mine -met in college and married as soon as she graduated (he was still studying)

He's a GP , she's also a health professional
Both are from huge Italian families and are very family oriented -lots of big family gatherings. They love kids and adore their nieces and nephews.

Neither has ever wanted children and after 20 years of marriage are both very happy still.

(People who don't know them well STILL ask them when they are starting a family though !)

missbiggles1

AubreyMac wrote: »

A middle aged man marries a woman some 20 years younger of child bearing age.


Would it really never occur to him that she may get to a point that she'd want [her own] children?

I thought she already had a child?

jackieblack

mumps wrote: »

My sons were 18 and 15 when we decided to have number 3, two years later we had number 4. Some people are happy to start again, incidentally we had talked about maybe having another and one day the then 14 year old said, "Mum if you are thinking of having another baby I think you should get a move on." Worrying about what the older ones might think about a new baby was one of the things that had stopped us going ahead. Nine months later baby number 3 was born.

Of course some, but not the majority, it can't just be assumed that someone would want to,


If your OH hadn't agreed to no. 3, would it have caused a problem?

jackieblack

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I thought she already had a child?

She has a teenage daughter