Losing friends...

tea_lover

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'd never ring anybody at that time in the morning - it's so thoughtless. Plus, on a practical level, neither I nor any of my friends (AFAIK) would answer because none of us keep a phone in the bedroom unless there was a family member in hospital.

In what sort of emergency would you do this - perhaps there's a situation I haven't thought of because I'd expect to sort out most emergencies on my own.

It's thoughtless if you ring someone at 3am for a chat. It's not at all thoughtless if you ring someone at 3am in an emergency.

Izadora

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'd never ring anybody at that time in the morning - it's so thoughtless.

I took it that posters meant in an absolute emergency rather than because you need to talk, which would be thoughtless.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

In what sort of emergency would you do this - perhaps there's a situation I haven't thought of because I'd expect to sort out most emergencies on my own.

If your husband was having a heart attack and you needed to get to the hospital but had two small children in bed would you sort it out on your own or call a friend to come over and watch the children?

Jagraf

burlington6 wrote: »

As a man, and other men will have seen the same as me, there are always a few ''friends'' who drop everything in their life for a woman.

We all know the type, the insecure, needy emotional one who thinks he's met ''the one'' after one date.

Usually the women has enough of being the man in the relationship and the ''friend'' comes crawling back only to do it all over again.

I once had a friend who didn't show up to any of our other friends 40th birthdays, although invited.

When he turned 40 everyone returned the favour

I think lots of people drop other people all the time, men and women, and pick them up again when suits.

I don't hold this against anyone - i don't monitor whether they can or can't come to parties and I don't seek emotional revenge. None of us really know what's going on in another persons life so I just let it be.

culpepper

Why not just move forwards?
So they don't want to be sociable anymore. well its their loss.

However I do wonder if maybe you are not seeing the bigger picture..
You have known these people for years. you have seen their downfalls and shared their joys and that can actually be quite limiting if you are the other person..
If that person wishes for new relationships. they maybe embellish their background or past a little or just wish to reinvent themselves and anyone who has seen them in their original state will be cramping their style.
Much like the old school friends who no longer share your taste in music ,pastimes or boys,these people are no longer the same people ..

Jagraf

I remember when my daughter was about 12 I had some great advice from someone (following the usual nastiness that can happen with friendships with pre teen girls). Get them into as many different friendship groups as possible so that when one goes wrong there's another to fall back on.

marleyboy

I remember having a friend who got insanely jealous whenever I met a new friend. I dropped the friendship long before settling down with a woman. Just as I would not drop absolutely everything to be with a woman, the same would apply to all my friends regardless of gender.

Who needs a friend who gets jealous over the fact I have friends and family?

Alikay

Izadora wrote: »

If your husband was having a heart attack and you needed to get to the hospital but had two small children in bed would you sort it out on your own or call a friend to come over and watch the children?

When real emergencies happen, you tend to go for speed and proximity IME. When I cut my hand badly and was fainting, I dashed to my neighbour and plonked my baby in her arms before collapsing, and when a different neighbour went to hospital on blue lights with a fitting baby, I ran across to hers and stayed with her sleeping child until they returned.

missbiggles1

Izadora wrote: »

I took it that posters meant in an absolute emergency rather than because you need to talk, which would be thoughtless.



If your husband was having a heart attack and you needed to get to the hospital but had two small children in bed would you sort it out on your own or call a friend to come over and watch the children?

OK, that's a situation that would merit it but there surely can't be that many, particularly if you're childless.

tea_lover

missbiggles1 wrote: »

OK, that's a situation that would merit it but there surely can't be that many, particularly if you're childless.

Yes we childless have actually mastered the art of immortality.

missbiggles1

Alikay wrote: »

When real emergencies happen, you tend to go for speed and proximity IME. When I cut my hand badly and was fainting, I dashed to my neighbour and plonked my baby in her arms before collapsing, and when a different neighbour went to hospital on blue lights with a fitting baby, I ran across to hers and stayed with her sleeping child until they returned.

I thought that as well. Even if your friend answered the phone, how long would it take to get dressed and come round to your place? Neighbours, by definition, are close.