Losing friends...

bugslet

Alikay wrote: »

Really? Thank God none of my friends have done that - they'd get short shrift from me if they did! I always had it drummed into me from an early age about keeping myself safe and planning how I got home, so national disaster excepted, it wouldn't happen to me!

I'll give you all something to laugh at my expense!:o

I'd been into Liverpool to see a ballet, got the train back. Now I don't get trains frequently and when I have done, there's always been people in front of me. Train pulls into station, I go to door, nothing happens. Now, I know all about the big green button you have to press to get the doors open, didn't then.:o:o:o.

Train ends up at 11.05 in Acton Bridge. Where?, I hear you ask. Exactly. I'd heard of it vaguely, consists of ten houses, the station and a pub that had shut. I didn't have a taxi number, didn't see one in the very badly lit, unmanned, somewhat creepy station and only had about £2.50 on me anyway. The SHTF people on the O/S board are my polar opposites:rotfl:.

So I called my lovely friend that I've known for 30 years, who also had no idea where Acton Bridge was and she came and got me. I did buy her a very nice present as a thank you! I'd have done the same for her.:o

bugslet

FBaby wrote: »

Surely what constitutes an 'emergency' amounts to how often it happens. I have never been called in the middle of the night by any other friends than the one I was referring to, so if suddenly, after many and many years of close friendship, one of them did, I wouldn't even think for a second to register whether the reason they called me was an emergency or not.

If however I was to meet a new friend and after only a few weeks of exchanging phone numbers, they were doing so for something that they could have sorted without my help, then yes, I would not be impressed and probably not willing to take that friendship any further.

Exactly, emergencies are by very definition a rarity.

Alikay

At 11:05 I'd probably go out to collect a friend. At 3am it'd have to be something important, but if their safety were in question obviously I'd go and they'd hopefully repay my kindness via wine or chocolate. I have been dragged from my bed through my kids teenage antics - each time I was pleased they'd come to us for help, and they learned from their experiences.

bugslet

She'd admired a hand carved trinket box I had at home, so I got her one next time I was up in W York's.

I thought she deserved it.

steph2901

I've had mainly the same group of friends since I was in my teens (now early 40s). We've always made the effort with each other and all been through ups and downs over the years. But one particular friend has always dropped us all whenever a new man came along. I could tolerate this as she's always been like it (the other friends had enough of her long ago but tolerated her because I was friends with her). But over the last couple of years she became completely selfish and we are no longer friends. She missed my 40th birthday party because she had a new man and went out with him instead (my party had been planned ages). She would often cancel arrangements with me and then go out with men instead. She faked being ill on my hen night and was really out with a man, when she could've seen him anytime. That was the last straw. I decided I didn't need a friend like that in my life and have been much happier since.

We don't all see each other constantly, but we value our friendship.

If you have friends who can't be bothered at all, ever, then they aren't true friends.

barbarawright

heuchera wrote: »

You might be stuck in town after a night out, unable to get back home, and decide to ring your friend who lives nearby at 3am to see if you can stay the night instead of waiting in some dodgy bus-shelter somewhere until the buses start running again.

I once had to call on a friend in the middle of the night because I'd lost my doorkey. These things happen

balletshoes

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

I wouldn't say that was odd at all, its probably very normal but there are no elderly parents, no in laws, children on their part or grandchildren to consider. Work is a 9 to 5 job.
I've tried arranging something and I get a response of 'sorry can't make it'.


I think many people who are married with children, who have parents, in laws, siblings etc can get lost in their busy lives but when you and your friend haven't got that and they have spent many a year crying about that you'd think they'd remember the people who they needed and value their friendships more.

I'm a single parent and have had no practical support, I've done it by myself and I've always worked yet I have still found time for them.

I would love a busy life like yours but I'm a single mum with a teeny tiny family so my world is quite small. Its not easy expanding it.

Should I surprise myself by getting myself hooked up in the future I will certainly not make the mistake of forgetting any friends who have been there in my journey.

How many times have you been let down in this way by your friend? If she can't give you any more thought than "can't make it", more than once, maybe your friend isn't what you thought she was?

Of course it hurts when people let you down, especially when you were there for them.

I have 2 best friends, the reason I count them as my best friends is because I know that if/when I really need them, they'll be there, as they have been in the past, and as I have been for them, and will be again, when needed. But none of us are psychic, and yes, having a partner or husband does change the dynamics of friendships. If my friends need me, they'll tell me they need me. We can (and do) go for months without seeing each other (sometimes years), we communicate over faceache mostly, text each other on birthdays.

If you need your friend, tell her you need her, tell her you'd appreciate a chat. If you don't want to do that, for example because you want her to take the initiative etc, thats okay too.

missbiggles1

barbarawright wrote: »

I once had to call on a friend in the middle of the night because I'd lost my doorkey. These things happen

I'd call a locksmith rather than a friend if it really was the middle of the night rather than just latish.

bugslet

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'd call a locksmith.

I'd call my mate . Bob up to her house, like me they run a haulage company, getting woken up and going back to sleep is in the job description. They could do the same to me if they got locked out, I'd be cross if they hung around waiting for a locksmith when they could have a key in 10 minutes.

heuchera

barbarawright wrote: »

I once had to call on a friend in the middle of the night because I'd lost my doorkey. These things happen

I must be getting tired.. I misread doorkey as donkey :rotfl::rotfl:
Time to call it a night, I think!