Lazy Child

FBaby

What's the background? Has he had issues with depression in the past? Did something happened to make him the way he is now? Was he an ambitious child or always been a bit lazy?

What did he study at college? Did he enjoy it? Does he know what he wants to do etc...

It's really to comment without knowing more about him. You know him best, what's your gut feeling telling you?

SalsaDanca

I was a bit like your son when I finished uni. It was a bit too easy to doss at my parents' house and avoid the real world. My parents eventually had to nag me into getting a job, but when I did it was undoubtedly the best thing that could have happened to me. After three years living with my parents I had saved up a deposit and was able to buy a flat.

It's hard enough for young people to get started in life when they leave full time education with a good CV and look for work straight away. Putting it off for a year, and then trying to find work with an unexplainable gap in his CV, isn't doing him any favours. Get him registered with the job centre, and then applying for jobs and doing some voluntary work - at least then he will have something on his CV and someone who can give him a reference.

SailorSam

Kick him out

He's got it made hasn't he.
Would you like to adopt me ?
I can lay in bed all day and play on the computer.

DKLS

Any relatives who could help re-inforce the tough love message?

I have a nephew who looked like he was heading this way but shocked us when he took up a plastering apprentice place and now he is doing well for himself. He has bought his first house done it up and paid off the mortgage in 3 years. Not bad for a kid whose hands were shaped like playstation controllers.

Towser

encourage him, gently to find work

I have not voted yet as I had a rather harsh upbringing and wanted to hear other peoples point of view before voting.

Kick him out - Might do him a favor but may ruin relations with you. I would not do this to my son.

Take him to the doctors - Are there any signs of depression? He should be having the time of his life now. It was my best time and I left home at 18.

encourage him, gently to find work - on the face of it this one seems best but I would be more stern. I would probably end up applying for all the jobs for him myself/showing him how it is done.

leave it to him to decide- He is a grown man now. If anything bad happened he would be fully responsible for his own actions. If you have any other dependents you would be in a weaker position than him. He has to decide to do the right thing. Maybe lay heavy moral thoughts on him?

It's a tricky one but I would probably explode oneday and end up selling the Xbox in CEX as it seems to be the root cause of the problem.

missbiggles1

Kick him out

jjhr wrote: »

I think he does have anxiety problems, but he will not see the doctor about it because it makes him anxious

Not so anxious that he can't go out with his mates!

Mistral001

I think there is no need to panic. He needs a period to get adjusted from one world to whole different world. The first world is one where everything to do with study and sitting at a computer or reading a book is good and to be encouraged to the world of work where that is not the case.

fairy_lights

Take him to the doctors

Mistral001 wrote: »

I think there is no need to panic. He needs a period to get adjusted from one world to whole different world. The first world is one where everything to do with study and sitting at a computer or reading a book is good and to be encouraged to the world of work where that is not the case.

But he left education a year and a half ago, I'd think that would be more than enough time to adjust...

Hermia

jjhr wrote: »

I think he does have anxiety problems, but he will not see the doctor about it because it makes him anxious

But is it anxiety at the level of a mental health problem or the anxiety everyone has when they are starting out? I work with young people and they are all very anxious when they start out. Sometimes I see them shaking and sweating at the prospect of facing the public. But it all disappears as they get used to it. I often think it is not good when young people put off getting their first proper job as it ends up becoming more and more scary the longer they leave it.

I hope your son is at least contributing to the cleaning and cooking. I was doing that sort of stuff from my early teens. If he is in all day there is no excuse for him not making dinner for the family a couple of times a week.

Oakdene

Change the wifi code and give him a character everytime he actually does something...