Lazy Child

PasturesNew

Frog march him down to the Job Centre.
Sit down with him and come up with his itinerary for daily living.... where he has to do shopping, washing, cooking, clean the bathroom etc. AND take half his dole off him to cover bills/food.
He has to apply for at least 3 jobs/day.

Anybody is allowed to doss.... so long as they're the ones paying for it. Right now he's not suffering.... nothing's changed for him since he was 12. In fact, it got better as he doesn't have to go to school, or do homework.

jjhr

166million wrote: »

What Poppie68 said.
Too many parents encouraging laziness rather than bringing child up to be adults in their own right.

Yes I agree with you, but we have done nothing but encourage him to do well at school etc.

The rot set in when we bought him the xbox. He seems to have gotten it out of his system now and is not addicted to it like he was before, but I call him my child, because he is my child. But he is now a fully grown adult but still behaves like a 12 year old some times.

jjhr

Thanks everyone for your replies. It good to hear your views, whether I like it or not.

pigpen

time limit to get a job or sign on.. and stick to it..

My son is 20 in 10 days and we (rather, I am) are currently panicking about his finances he has learning difficulties and is in full time education so probably not entitled to anything and we have next to nothing coming in..

He doesn't have to like the people at the job centre.. and surely that would be an incentive to find work!?

fairy_lights

Take him to the doctors

jjhr wrote: »

Yes he does spend time with his friends. The reason he won't sign on because he doesn't like the people there. Yes I know, its pathetic

Ahh, ok, I was thinking that perhaps he was spending so much time on the xbox and sleeping because he was depressed, refusing to sign on because of anxiety etc, in which case a more gentle approach would be needed.
But if that's not the case and he's just a lazy, ungrateful sod then he needs a kick up the !!!!.

pollypenny

I have not voted, as my option would be to firmly encourage him to get a job and insist that he signs on for two reasons:

a) he will have some benefit
b) he has a chance of finding a job.

missbiggles1

Kick him out

At the very least, he should be signing on and giving you most of his JSA for his keep, with a view to getting a job and becoming a fully functioning member of both the family and society.

I think the most shocking thing is that he pays nothing to live with you and yet you pay him for doing odd jobs! Stop enabling him - you're helping him to ruin his life.

foolofbeans

I told my children that they would be supported financially while they were in education but after that they would be expected to pay board. I chose to charge my eldest £30 a week when in receipt of job seekers as that left £25 a week for a weekly bus pass at £15 and £10 personal money. When they worked I still only asked for £30 a week as that gave an incentive to work and earn their own money.
When my children do not pull their weight they do not get access to my wifi and I do not assist them in their social life by driving them about. I'm not sure about removing access to a shower as that is a basic human right IMO. You do need to decide what you want from your son and to what lengths you will go to get him out to work.
Good luck!

jjhr

I think he does have anxiety problems, but he will not see the doctor about it because it makes him anxious

Andy_89

jjhr wrote: »

The rot set in when we bought him the xbox. He seems to have gotten it out of his system now and is not addicted to it like he was before, but I call him my child, because he is my child. But he is now a fully grown adult but still behaves like a 12 year old some times.

I am a male of 26. I have a PS4 that I would say I am addicted to, when my wife is at work it is all I wish to do.


I still have a career, I work 50-60 hours a week, and still find time for football, spending time with my wife and gaming.


The would suggest that his mentality and priorities are out of kilter. I personally think that removal of the luxuries is the best way to change your lads mindset.


My first job I was 'taxed' 20% of my take home pay by my parents, it paid for food, power etc Makes you realise and become accustomed that things are not free.