We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Lazy Child

I was wondering if anyone can give me advice about my 19 year old son.

He left college over a year and a half ago and he doesn't have any ambitions to do anything. He is quite happy to sleep all day. Play xbox games, or just lounge around in his bedroom watching tv.
If I ask him what are his plans for today he refuses to talk to me. He clams up.

He even refuses to sign on!

I am at my wits end. what do i do?

What would you do with your son who refuses to work? 125 votes

Kick him out
51%
michaelselisebutt65gingerdadSymanalwaysskint96colchesladgilly1964iolanthe07Peter999_2Morglinroy62Emmylou_2BarryBlueIlonaneneromanovaSnugglesjuliettetnattykinslincroft1710teddypinkskin 64 votes
Take him to the doctors
12%
verynewmoneysaverminiemmakkgree1jinty271KentishLadymsb5262curchepSuzieSueeleanora_peoplkelpie35chocolate.buttonsheartbreak_starHomeownertobefairy_lightsbluelass 16 votes
encourage him, gently to find work
32%
dogstarheavenspringchickenlibra10icefalldonnalouMarmaduke123janthemumsteph2901Unknownemsywoo123helen6puddlespickledonionspaceraideroystercatchergadjah543Artytartyshopaholiczchimmo12Sunny_spelleleanora_ 41 votes
leave it to him to decide
3%
gabriel1980shiny76Amfodyndadenthusiasticsaver 4 votes
«13456718

Comments

  • Poppie68
    Poppie68 Posts: 4,881 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Kick him out
    I would remove everything but his bed and wardrobe from his room, providing you bought the Xbox etc. Stop cooking or even providing food for him, deny access to the Washing machine, shower and living room and tell him when he finds a job and starts paying rent then he can have full privileges back...Oh and take his door keys off him.
  • fairy_lights
    fairy_lights Posts: 9,220 Forumite
    Take him to the doctors
    Does he go out at all or does he literally spend all his time sleeping or on the xbox? Does he have friends and socialise?
    Why won't he sign on?
  • nearlyrich
    nearlyrich Posts: 13,698 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Hung up my suit!
    What is he living on if he has no job and no intention of getting one? Time for some tough love, tell him he has 2 months to get an income as you need £150 or £200 per month off him to keep living with you.
    Free impartial debt advice from: National Debtline or Stepchange[/CENTER]
  • jjhr
    jjhr Posts: 34 Forumite
    Does he go out at all or does he literally spend all his time sleeping or on the xbox? Does he have friends and socialise?
    Why won't he sign on?
    Yes he does spend time with his friends. The reason he won't sign on because he doesn't like the people there. Yes I know, its pathetic
  • 166million
    166million Posts: 1,233 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Kick him out
    What Poppie68 said.
    Too many parents encouraging laziness rather than bringing child up to be adults in their own right.
    **Debt Free as of 15:55 on Friday 23rd March 2012**And I am staying that way
    377 166million Sealed Pot Challenge 2018 :staradmin No. 90: Emergency fund £637
    My debt free diary http://http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=3630099
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
    jjhr wrote: »
    Yes he does spend time with his friends. The reason he won't sign on because he doesn't like the people there. Yes I know, its pathetic

    Stop feeding him.
  • jjhr
    jjhr Posts: 34 Forumite
    nearlyrich wrote: »
    What is he living on if he has no job and no intention of getting one? Time for some tough love, tell him he has 2 months to get an income as you need £150 or £200 per month off him to keep living with you.
    We feed him, but he does not get any money off of us, maybe if he does an odd job for us he will get the odd £5 or £10.
  • nearlyrich
    nearlyrich Posts: 13,698 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Hung up my suit!
    Oh and he is not a child maybe that is the problem he needs to realise he is an adult and he should be taking responsibility.
    Free impartial debt advice from: National Debtline or Stepchange[/CENTER]
  • LutonGirl
    LutonGirl Posts: 468 Forumite
    Turn off the wi-fi and the heating and cut the plug off his telly. He's obviously too comfortable.
  • DKLS
    DKLS Posts: 13,461 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Family meeting time to welcome him to the world of adult life and the tedious realities & responsibilities that go with that.

    Also time to make a choice, either go back to studying, find a job or if there is a problem he needs to seek help, lounging around the house shouldn't be an option.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351.9K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.1K Spending & Discounts
  • 245K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.5K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.4K Life & Family
  • 258.7K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.