What to do when you feel utterly worthless and can't get over an abusive ex

pigpen

x-Princess-Vikki-x wrote: »

hahaha thank you for your post pigpen! Not sure I will take your mothers advice but I'm sure it works for some! I guess the other thing is because I've been with him my entire adult life I'm a bit scared of someone else ever seeing me au natural. Eek!

Yes psychopath sounds about right. He certainly has all of the traits; absolutely zero guilt, empathy or remorse for anything.

By the time I saw sense and kicked my psycho out I had had 8 children, 3 lots of major surgery and was 3 stone overweight.. and I didn't scare my new man away.. I'm sure you are much lovelier than I was.. people who really care don't give a monkey's if you are green and scaly under your clothes.. it is your personality they see first and the beauty within you reflected in your face and your actions.. unless you meet at a nudist beach in which case I'd ask why you are bothered in the first place.

And see.. you smiled.. I saw that

meritaten

prosaver wrote: »

im in the same boat. the thing is, i'm really heartbroken and shes immune to it all.
and it is, like somebody's died,
she not the same personas i use too know
this is after 15 years of being together ,
i think sometimes, people are born with big harts than others.
now im on medication and last night i nearly drunk a liter of vodka.
i was still drunk the next day till about 3pm.
anyway
time is the best healer.
your lucky cause i have to see my ex forever, as we got a child togher
.(which i wish i didnt have too )

Yes - because you have to grieve the 'loss' out of your life BUT, they are still living and living without you!
That's not just hard - its devastating.
but you do have to grieve the loss of the 'relationship' and move on - and I know its a clich! and nobody believes it when the loss is new but 'Time Heals'! it really does.

System

I had a pretty horrible realtionship a few years ago, he treated me like crap, cheated on me, and was emotionally abusive on a regular basis. At the time i was ill and honestly believed him when he told me nobody else would ever want me, and that i would never cope on my own. It was toxic. In the end he left me for another woman (though im ashamed to say we were still seeing each other for a few months after that, until he got her pregnant and he ended it). Honestly i was a mess. I was broken and at rock bottom.

3 years on, i'm so much happier, more confident, more mentally stable (and back working), and in a much much better place than i was back then. It took a long time to start liking myself again, to believe that actually i did derserve better and that i asn;t the terrible person he made me believe i was. Relationship wise i;ve met someone who treats me like a queen and is a million times the man my twatty ex was.

Right now things are most likely still very raw for you, but it CAN and it DOES get better, initially it can be hard, but making a break from him will be the best thing you do for yourself. Concentrate on you, and rebuilding life. You have a fresh start and your past does not define you.

prosaver

meritaten wrote: »

Yes - because you have to grieve the 'loss' out of your life BUT, they are still living and living without you!
That's not just hard - its devastating.
but you do have to grieve the loss of the 'relationship' and move on - and I know its a clich! and nobody believes it when the loss is new but 'Time Heals'! it really does.

thanks
i wish i had that time machine, like , that old film based on
hg wells.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OHtb3lg5C8
this is funny

PeacefulWaters

It took me over 20 years to get out of a relationship that was filled with low level emotional abuse. No violence, but an ongoing chipping away at my being through words and affairs.

My financial reward will be losing all of my home and part of my pension. But the three months I've been gone have been liberating to the extreme.

I'm significantly less stressed.
I'm happier.
I've lost even more weight (over 4 stone since the summer).
I've realised other women can find me attractive, which has been a fantastic ego boost.

Sever the ties. Look forwards, not backwards. Opportunity awaits you. Happiness that you could never have before is just around the corner.

tea_lover

Morning Vikki - just thought I'd send a Monday hug. I hope you managed to get some rest last night and that you're ok this morning x.

pigpen

My daughter is 18 and already escaped an abusive relationship.. but this really made me think of you..





It looks really patronising but it is pretty enlightening really!!!

Hope your day is bringing you happiness xxx

x-Princess-Vikki-x

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x-Princess-Vikki-x

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166million

This is your chance to be happy with yourself, you've had a horrible time but you have the opportunity to move forward wand be who you are supposed to be without shame or fear. Hold your head high, you don't need pillocks dragging you down