What to do when you feel utterly worthless and can't get over an abusive ex

meer53

OP, it's not wasted time, it's something you experienced which will make you a happier person eventually. My ex left me and our 2 children after over 20 years of marriage. He cheated on me. My daughter was only 2 when he left. I thought it was the end of my world. It wasn't, it was the beginning of a brand new life, one that i now realise i should have been living long before he left.

I wanted him to come back, i didn't know how i would carry on, i didn't want to carry on without him, i felt embarrassed that this had happened to me !!! Ha ! How stupid was i ?

It took me nearly 2 years to come to the realisation that he did me a huge favour, i'm sooo much happier now than i've ever been. Don't worry about how you feel at the moment, take it one day at a time, you're not going to feel like this forever. Honestly.

gabriel1980

From personal experience, I can tell you that these feelings will pass. I don't want to sound melodramatic, but it might be worth looking into medication to help you sleep and feel better.

VfM4meplse

duchy wrote: »

get your hair done (amazing how a new look can make us feel very different about ourselves)

tea_lover wrote: »

Would also second the suggestion about getting your hair done (or something similar).

What would Alexa say?

duchy

Nah - last thing you want to do is kiss a load of frogs until your self-esteem has recovered and you are a bit pickier !!!

Hairdressers is a much better idea

tea_lover

Why would you have weird hair? :rotfl:

skint_chick

I've been in almost this exact situation with my ex - he treated me terribly and I put up with it because I loved him and I thought I could make him love me if I tried harder/changed/was funnier/sexier/thinner. Turns out it wasn't me with the issues it was him. He has done the exact same thing to several other girls since I walked away.

What you have done is amazing, you are strong and have chosen to leave this idiot who is not worthy of your time and feelings. It might feel horrible at the moment especially this time of year, but it does get better. It takes time for it to feel less emotional and for you to feel happy again, but it will happen. I found the best plan was distraction, I allowed myself a fixed amount of crying and thinking time a day, but an equal amount of 'me' time where I focused on taking care of myself, eating healthy, getting exercise, and learning new things. Take some time to reconnect with friends and family, make new friends, join an exercise or evening class in January and meet some new people.

You're not worthless, you've proved that by walking away. New year, new start. I ended up meeting my husband several months after the breakup and now when I think about my ex I feel sorry for him because he isn't happy with his life and only feels good about himself by hurting others. Stay strong

marisco_2

My advice is now that you have physically walked away, rip that plaster off and emotionally walk away for good too. Nothing worse than looking back and regretting time spent trying to get over someone who isn't worth your time or energy. Your life will be so much better and happier now your ex isn't a part of it.

x-Princess-Vikki-x

................................

x-Princess-Vikki-x

..............................

pickledonionspaceraider

I think you are very brave, you have spent years with this guy and IMO possibly slightly brain washed by him.

It sounds to me that you have been keeping some very bad company, him, and the friend who ended up meeting with him and in future it might be well advised to spend time with people who are not scum

Counselling, yes I would definitely advise hun - it really does help to speak to people who are not involved, and are not going to use it as a weapon against you.