How to deal with racist family members

GeeBee38

Poppie68 wrote: »

My daughter's fiance is black to the dismay of a couple of rogue family members, at family events he makes it his mission of the evening to make a beeline for them, park his bum and watch them squirm..

This is great! Love it, good for him

GeeBee38

Oh, I forgot to mention they are hypocrites too

They like Sammy Davis Jr & Muhammad Ali

SailorSam

GeeBee38 wrote: »

Is this true? Or are you having me on?

No it's true.
When she first starting telling me about this guy i said 'be careful' he's looking at your money. But she told me he was a businessman, and much richer than her. But then her daughter (my niece), later told me his business was he had a jetski (just one) and sometimes tourists would ask could they have a go if he was on the beach. I only met him once when she brought him home for a holiday. I was expecting a distinguished looking gentlemen. But he came downstairs wearing one of these coloured 'Bob Marley' hats. I stammered and all i could say was 'oh you're younger than i expected'....... That was the wrong thing to say. We don't speak thesedays.

GeeBee38

SailorSam wrote: »

No it's true.
When she first starting telling me about this guy i said 'be careful' he's looking at your money. But she told me he was a businessman, and much richer than her. But then her daughter (my niece), later told me his business was he had a jetski (just one) and sometimes tourists would ask could they have a go if he was on the beach. I only met him once when she brought him home for a holiday. I was expecting a distinguished looking gentlemen. But he came downstairs wearing one of these coloured 'Bob Marley' hats. I stammered and all i could say was 'oh you're younger than i expected'....... That was the wrong thing to say. We don't speak thesedays.

Lol, You have cheered me up, made me laugh

fairy_lights

SailorSam wrote: »

I was expecting a distinguished looking gentlemen. But he came downstairs wearing one of these coloured 'Bob Marley' hats. I stammered and all i could say was 'oh you're younger than i expected'....... That was the wrong thing to say. We don't speak thesedays.

Are they still together? It reminds me of the stories the Daily Mail print from time to time about middle aged women who get themselves young Ghanaian toyboys who swear their love is pure and true, and are surprised when they end up single and several thousand pounds worse off.

SailorSam

As far as i know they're together Fairy, as i said we've not spoken for a few years. At first i kept in touch with cards, but had nothing not even an ecard so don't know what's going on. I went the Crem i few weeks ago 'cos it was my Mums birthday i was the only one to leave anything, so never even got the chance to speak there.

GeeBee38

SailorSam wrote: »

As far as i know they're together Fairy, as i said we've not spoken for a few years. At first i kept in touch with cards, but had nothing not even an ecard so don't know what's going on. I went the Crem i few weeks ago 'cos it was my Mums birthday i was the only one to leave anything, so never even got the chance to speak there.

Aww that's a shame, i do hope you make it up one day, sending you a hug for your mums birthday x

pinkshoes

I would play them at their own game. Do they have different eye colours to each other? Offer them a cup of tea, then only make one for the parent with brown eyes, then say that you don't make tea for people with blue eyes.

If they think you are being daft, then just tell them you are following their example and treating people differently based on physical features that they didn't choose.

Petty, but makes a valid point.

GeeBee38

pinkshoes wrote: »

I would play them at their own game. Do they have different eye colours to each other? Offer them a cup of tea, then only make one for the parent with brown eyes, then say that you don't make tea for people with blue eyes.

If they think you are being daft, then just tell them you are following their example and treating people differently based on physical features that they didn't choose.

Petty, but makes a valid point.

It's a great idea, but i very much doubt it would work, I don't think my mother was as bad when i was younger, but i think she is slowly being brainwashed by my father, he is the main racist instigator.

When i talk to her alone about it and tell her that it upsets me, she can sort of see my point of view.

System

i normally say 'Oh for goodness sake change the record' and move on.

Probably isnt as easy though with parents.