How to get my brother to move out

BigAunty

Local councils in England consider homeless single people without disabilities or dependents to be a low priority. Off the top of my head, there is no obligation to provide accommodation to them, but the council can provide advice.

He could have contacted them weeks ago - they are receptive to people who face future homelessness, not just the actual homeless.You can check out the actual position on the Shelter website or your local council website, don't rely on my advice. Actually, your brother should be doing this task.

Perhaps he's a bit deluded and thinks that if he goes to the council with his homelessness actually achieved, rather than flagging up its future possibility in advance, they are forced to house him. It doesn't work like that. Perhaps he's just being disorganised and has simply been sleepwalking into insecurity of accommodation, preferring to spend his time and money on luxury european breaks...

As for not changing his mail, he could pay a small monthly fee to get a mailbox elsewhere and update all his contacts with that address, or arrange Royal Mail forwarding to his girlfriend. Clearly, he lacks initiative to do the first one and probably his girlfriend doesn't want the latter.

In both cases, he would have to pay for the service so he will be reluctant to do this if he thinks you will collect his post for him and hand it over - it will save him money and the trouble of contacting the DVLA, bank, doctor, etc to update his address.

Your options are to change the locks on 31 Jan (quite cheap just to replace the inner barrels with a like for like rather than the entire gubbins) and return all his mail as 'Return to Sender. Not known at this address'. He will obviously kick off at this action.

calleyw

BigAunty wrote: »

Your options are to change the locks on 31 Jan (quite cheap just to replace the inner barrels with a like for like rather than the entire gubbins) and return all his mail as 'Return to Sender. Not known at this address'. He will obviously kick off at this action.

Exactly what I was going to suggest.

Good luck OP. I know its hard as he is your brother. But if you and family members keep enabling him he will never learn.

Yours

Calley

thorsoak

As others have said, change the locks, put all his property in binbags and leave it on the doorstep ....DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO RE-ENTER YOUR PROPERTY.

Ignore all threats of suicide, etc - his life is his responsibility - not yours. You have supported him for far too long, and he has had more than enough notice that things must change. As for using your address - return all post to sender(s) with the notice "NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS" - and it may well be worth looking into your experien report and lodging a disassociation with them. Also, make sure that he is removed from the electoral roll at your address.

goodwithsaving

Chuck him out. He isn't your child and you shouldn't be giving him an easier ride whilst you work to support yourself - like an adult should. True, he's your sibling but unfortunately tough love is needed here. Change the locks, return mail to sender and let him deal with the consequences.
Do not fall for any sob stories and I understand you are concerned for his mental health, but you are NOT responsible for him. Hardline approach, he's had long enough

prosaver

jeezee ..is he still there..?
(shakes head)

FBaby

Surely if he has nowhere to go, his girlfriend, who clearly cares for him enough to go with him to Paris, would take him in.... oh but wait, can't do that if it means losing all her benefits. So obvious he is only after an address so he can claim that he doesn't live with her if ever investigated. Get rid of him.

misterzim

All responses I expected to receive and thanks.

He has agreed to take all his belongings and leave his key on Sunday. As for the postal address I will have to 'return to sender' as I know he will not take responsibility and change address.

It sucks when your brother is like this and for the most part he doesn't do things on purpose but I do feel let down by him now and he's royally pi55ed me off!!

I'll let you know how it goes on Sunday!!!

calleyw

misterzim wrote: »

All respones I expected to receive and thanks.
He has agreed to take all his belongings and leave his key on Sunday.

Still would change the locks as you don't know if he has made a copy!!!


Yours

Calley

itsanne

Thanks for updating.

Definitely change the locks once he goes - and don't be taken in by any last minute "Just another couple of days."

Good luck!

TBagpuss

misterzim wrote: »

All respones I expected to receive and thanks.

He has agreed to take all his belongings and leave his key on Sunday. As for the postal address I will have to 'return to sender' as I know he will not take responsibility and change address.

It sucks when your brother is like this and for the most part he doesn't do things on purpose but I do feel let down by him now and he's royally pi55ed me off!!

I'll let you know how it goes on Sunday!!!

Stay strong! Expect last minute begging or tantrums.
Remind him that you will not be keeping or forwarding his post for him.