Is it normal to become bored and fed up with a relationship?

justme111

Really ? Have you missed jackrs's thread with very able ex wife and grown up children ?
Re house - you said he is entitled to both equity and deposit which is not the same you saying now ( yield plus deposit). So you unnecessarily said to op she was wrong as a result of your mistake.

Caleb11

Thanks. I am more than happy to share custody with him. That's not really the issue. More him making unrealistic custody claims that we both know are not going to happen as he is 1. Trying to scare ME into staying by thinking "I'm not going to see my son for 2-3 days a week" (even though I'm prepared for this - I know we would need to share him so it's not a surprise I see him less) and 2. He knows more overnights with him = less money to pay.

I know for a fact he won't reduce his hours. He loves his job. He loves the money he earns. He moved away for one year and seen myself and son 1-2 times a month. He goes away working for roughly 2-3 months of the year now we have moved down to be with him. So I don't see how that would change now we split up. If anything he gets to work whenever and wherever he wants without having the guilt trip of not spending time with us.

He has no right to anything in the property in legal terms.

Guest101

Caleb11 wrote: »

Thanks. I am more than happy to share custody with him. That's not really the issue. More him making unrealistic custody claims that we both know are not going to happen as he is 1. Trying to scare ME into staying by thinking "I'm not going to see my son for 2-3 days a week" (even though I'm prepared for this - I know we would need to share him so it's not a surprise I see him less) and 2. He knows more overnights with him = less money to pay.

I know for a fact he won't reduce his hours. He loves his job. He loves the money he earns. He moved away for one year and seen myself and son 1-2 times a month. He goes away working for roughly 2-3 months of the year now we have moved down to be with him. So I don't see how that would change now we split up. If anything he gets to work whenever and wherever he wants without having the guilt trip of not spending time with us.

He has no right to anything in the property in legal terms.

As far as you know, but like i said a judge woul decide that

Guest101

justme111 wrote: »

Really ? Have you missed jackrs's thread with very able ex wife and grown up children ?
Re house - you said he is entitled to both equity and deposit which is not the same you saying now ( yield plus deposit). So you unnecessarily said to op she was wrong as a result of your mistake.

I thought it was quite cear, but all crystal clear now

Semple

Did i miss a post where you mentioned how old he was? - i remember reading that you were 24. I'm already guessing that he's older.

From what you say, it's crystal clear that his focus in life is his career, and you and your son obviously come second. There is supporting a family, and then there is making a very decent living. If you told me he was working 60 hours a week on minimum wage to keep a roof over your head, then i would accept that as doing his best for the family's benefit. But even subtracting his overtime, his base salary must be at least 50k, which is more than twice the average wage. My point being, he could quite clearly support the family without the excess overtime, and thus have more hours to spend with you and your son.

Caleb11

He is older but only by two years. The reason he is on that salary is that he accepted a promotion which was 500 miles away. He moved away for a year and I moved down a year later with our son. He bends over backwards for his work. Works overtime when his colleagues say no.

The thing is he claims he is "supporting us" and making the best future for us. And I have no doubt - staying with him I will have a nice materialistic life. But I also know that when I moved down with our son to be with him, he was on £70,000 and I didn't have a job although I was trying hard. But in the 3 months where I was unemployed after leaving our "home" and moving down I was made to feel restricted and I literarly couldn't spend a penny. we had a massive row after j spent money and he was complaining and asking for receipts.

I got the job because I felt I needed to, despite my parter being "able" to support us. I didn't feel "able" to spend his money so it was pointless to me him earning this big salary to "support us".

Guest101

Caleb11 wrote: »

He is older but only by two years. The reason he is on that salary is that he accepted a promotion which was 500 miles away. He moved away for a year and I moved down a year later with our son. He bends over backwards for his work. Works overtime when his colleagues say no.

The thing is he claims he is "supporting us" and making the best future for us. And I have no doubt - staying with him I will have a nice materialistic life. But I also know that when I moved down with our son to be with him, he was on £70,000 and I didn't have a job although I was trying hard. But in the 3 months where I was unemployed after leaving our "home" and moving down I was made to feel restricted and I literarly couldn't spend a penny. we had a massive row after j spent money and he was complaining and asking for receipts.

I got the job because I felt I needed to, despite my parter being "able" to support us. I didn't feel "able" to spend his money so it was pointless to me him earning this big salary to "support us".

It sounds like the job is killing him.


I expected you to say he was in his early /mid 30's.


At 26 he's not mentally resistant enough to carry 60-80 hour weeks.


(hell I'm 29 and I just get by at 60 hours - mentally)

Caleb11

Yeah the thing is he openly admits he loves his job. It's in IT and he has a natural talent for it so he's well respected and seems to naturally do well. He offers himself for overtime and takes an interest in a load of things he admits he doesn't need to do.

tea_lover

Caleb11 wrote: »

But in the 3 months where I was unemployed after leaving our "home" and moving down I was made to feel restricted and I literarly couldn't spend a penny. we had a massive row after j spent money and he was complaining and asking for receipts.

I think that tells you everything you need to know (unless you were buying yachts and ponies of course in which case I'd say he's got a point).

So the house you own is joint, and he should get half of that. But everything he earns is just his?

duchy

My ex said he wanted joint custody wth equal time. I told him that was fine . That we could split everything fifty fifty that son could live one week Monday to Sunday with me and the next Monday to Sunday with him I reminded him he would need to provide childcare for after school as well as make arrangements for when he was away on business- also that if we wanted any social life on his weeks he'd need reliabe babysitters. Also he needed to make arrangements for when his weeks fell in school holidays.

As a workoholic who worked with a very social bunch of people and had taken for granted that I would continue to pick up the slack even when we were then apart this came as a bit of a shock and he decided when faced with the reality that hed just have weekends instead

Caleb11 wrote: »

Thanks. I am more than happy to share custody with him. That's not really the issue. More him making unrealistic custody claims that we both know are not going to happen as he is 1. Trying to scare ME into staying by thinking "I'm not going to see my son for 2-3 days a week" (even though I'm prepared for this - I know we would need to share him so it's not a surprise I see him less) and 2. He knows more overnights with him = less money to pay.

I know for a fact he won't reduce his hours. He loves his job. He loves the money he earns. He moved away for one year and seen myself and son 1-2 times a month. He goes away working for roughly 2-3 months of the year now we have moved down to be with him. So I don't see how that would change now we split up. If anything he gets to work whenever and wherever he wants without having the guilt trip of not spending time with us.

He has no right to anything in the property in legal terms.