Is it normal to become bored and fed up with a relationship?

justme111

Guest101 wrote: »

I thought it was quite cear, but all crystal clear now

It would have been clear. If you did not make your statement while explicitly saying that op was not fair/did not calculate it right. If you were going to say the same as op did why jave you disagreed with her in the first place.
Re hours - what is your source of information and data stating that in one's 20s one is not capable to happily do 80 hours a week? You said it was related to age - do you mean that at any other age one is able to work more ? And what does it have to do with the topic ?

duchy

Caleb11 wrote: »

Yeah the thing is he openly admits he loves his job. It's in IT and he has a natural talent for it so he's well respected and seems to naturally do well. He offers himself for overtime and takes an interest in a load of things he admits he doesn't need to do.

He sounds exactly like my ex.
He was a similar age to your partner He literally fell in love with the whole business image of great money, feeling he was indispensable and the whole corporate dream . By the time he realized that there was more to life and that the corporate world actually doesn't care and can choose at anytime to no longer need/want you our marriage was over and he was stuck on the corporate treadmill and unable to leave as the lifestyle it had bought him was too hard to afford to give up.Its a common story in the IT world.

I do wonder why it took a year for you to move to be with him On that kind of wage surely you could have rented at the new location

Caleb11

Yeah your right. But I was still in university and wanted to finish before moving so he moved down and we agreed that when I graduated I would move.

Guest101

justme111 wrote: »

It would have been clear. If you did not make your statement while explicitly saying that op was not fair/did not calculate it right. If you were going to say the same as op did why jave you disagreed with her in the first place.
Re hours - what is your source of information and data stating that in one's 20s one is not capable to happily do 80 hours a week? You said it was related to age - do you mean that at any other age one is able to work more ? And what does it have to do with the topic ?

I presumed that someone earning £70,000 would not demand back the deposit and 50% of the whole amount, as that would be incredibly stupid.


I presumed the OP was using the word equity to denote what was left over after deposit and debts are paid back.


It was not a sensible presumption. But you've latched on to something which is clarified, im not sure why?....


Re the hours. It's my opinion, having done it myself, and seen friends to the same. I am entitled to an opinion (despite you making demands on what was clearly an opinion, and not a statement of fact.)

Brighton_belle

Guest101 wrote: »

Before becoming pregnant we were on a "break" as I was young and wanted to go out and he wouldn't let me or would guilt trip me into not going. - well it sounds like you werent ready for adulthood yet, not a criticism, just an observation.

I genuinely don't understand this - since when did the concept of going out an having fun = "not ready for adult hood"? I have friends stretching every decade from 20's to 70's and we love to go out and have fun.
I go out and have fun without my DH too - and he is warm and supportive of that.

BigAunty

Guest101 wrote: »

As far as you know, but like i said a judge woul decide that

Despite the OPs ex earning 3 times more and saying he won't pay a penny in child support, despite his unreasonable claims for equity in the OPs property while excluding sharing his own with her, despite his insistence on 2/3 nights physical custody when he shows no real interest in being a hands on parent, the OP and her ex may be able to negotiate a financial settlement, child support and agree physical custody without any legal intervention, let alone a court case.

Of course, it wouldn't hurt the OP to get expert, including legal advice, on separating and she may need to raise a case with the CMS if he won't pay a penny towards his son from his weekly take home pay (after tax) of around £900 a week, as he intends.

There is evidence there that the OPs ex is greedy and stingy, motivated to wreak havoc on her reputation among their family and friends, so an amicable mutually agreed outcome may not be possible. It is possible his controlling behaviour will escalate to a nastier level.

But talk of 'judges' may be premature.

justme111

Don't take it seriously, guest likes to say white when women who are majority on here say black and viceversa. It is his sport.
op did not provide enough info for us to tell whether she was clubbing coming home drunk at 4 am every Friday or her partner frowned at her leaving house alone for afternoon coffee with her mother once a month. Guest somehow knows which way it was despite missing op's description of an incident when op's partner insisted on wanting to be present at her meeting with her sister.

Guest101

justme111 wrote: »

Don't take it seriously, guest likes to say white when women who are majority on here say black and viceversa. It is his sport.
op did not provide enough info for us to tell whether she was clubbing coming home drunk at 4 am every Friday or her partner frowned at her leaving house alone for afternoon coffee with her mother once a month. Guest somehow knows which way it was despite missing op's description of an incident when op's partner insisted on wanting to be present at her meeting with her sister.

Excuse me?


Whilst you are entitled to your opinion, it's nothing to do with 'sport', just because I don't agree with you and a number of others, doesn't make me wrong.


It's as much a presumption to say she's popped out for tea and scones as it is to say she's going clubbing until 4am.

BigAunty

Caleb11 wrote: »

I literarly couldn't spend a penny. we had a massive row after j spent money and he was complaining and asking for receipts.

.

Woah! Another alarm bell. That's is just so disrespectful and weird.

Love the contradiction 'I am a family man, I slog everyday to provide, I am the breadwinner, don't trouble your pretty little head by working' followed up with keeping the OP short of funds and resenting any expense incurred!! That's a total mindf*ck.

Guest101

BigAunty wrote: »

Despite the OPs ex earning 3 times more and saying he won't pay a penny in child support, - Which I worked out for the OP. despite his unreasonable claims for equity in the OPs property - we dont know if it's reasonable or not. while excluding sharing his own with her, despite his insistence on 2/3 nights physical custody when he shows no real interest in being a hands on parent - we have an opinion on this. , the OP and her ex may be able to negotiate a financial settlement, child support and agree physical custody without any legal intervention, let alone a court case. - I agree, it might be possible. If not, then a judge would decide.

Of course, it wouldn't hurt the OP to get expert, including legal advice, on separating and she may need to raise a case with the CMS if he won't pay a penny towards his son from his weekly take home pay (after tax) of around £900 a week, as he intends. - I agree. She'd get £104 a week, which isn't terrible

There is evidence there that the OPs ex is greedy and stingy, motivated to wreak havoc on her reputation among their family and friends, so an amicable mutually agreed outcome may not be possible. It is possible his controlling behaviour will escalate to a nastier level. - Also agreed. Which is why I said a judge would decide

But talk of 'judges' may be premature.

It might be. But there's no point the OP thinking 'we aren't married, so there's no court case'