Daring Myself to do this

lilmissmup

Happy New Year Kitten

I hope you get to enjoy your holiday, you defo need family times

Surveys are good ways to earn money for treats/presents, can be a tad tedious but if you have spare time coming up with OH being away they can help

Saver-upper

kitten868,I have just read through your diary,and had to say,you are doing so well.It must be really hard with OH being away for such long stretches at a time-you will cope,though.

I can relate to small children,close age-gaps,very little income while they are small,etc.I have 4 children,age nearly -7 up to 13 1/2.My 2 eldest are just over 16 months apart in age,and when they were little,it was very hard work.The eldest could not entertain herself for more than a few minutes at a time,I felt guilty when I did leave her to occupy herself.Combined with baby son who screamed constantly with colic until he was 3 months old (record for continuous crying was 18 hours: 7am one day to 2am that night :eek::eek::eek::eek:),and then was always a very temperamental child.I also hated it when toddler groups were closed for holidays.

Money-wise,you are working so hard to make the best for your family.As mentioned,surveys can be good to do in the evenings.I am with Pinecone,and they pay £3 a survey.Usually I get 2-3 surveys a month,lately I have been getting about one a week.I think I get alot of surveys because I am a mum,with children living at home,so there are lots of consumer/family/children/lifestyle surveys to be had.You do need to be "invited" to join,but there is a Pinecone thread on MSE somewhere,that you sometimes find them,I think,or you could try this page,which seems to have links to lots of different surveys:
http://mysurvey123.com/pinecone-research/

I will be following you,and wish you a very Happy,not too stressful 2016 .

chanie

kitten happy New year.

The holiday sounds exactly what you need and its nice to read that you have people who care about you.

Kitten868

Thank you all my kind saviours! You are all terrific! And thank you saver-upper. I feel awful today. Tried talking to my family about money last night. They already knew I'm doing well paying things off. They already knew I'm in loads of debt and they knew I was going to ask as I had told them the amount as I didn't want to spring it on them. I didn't think I was going to be more than a quick chat and a yes or no.

I cried all night. My mum really unpicked all my positivity about solving the problem. There's no point lending it to me as I live beyond my means and I will run it up elsewhere. It's not like I'm missing payments and my children are still eating. (I thought that was the point - I have had my lbm before catastrophe is at my door and while I'm still young enough to make some changes to see me through life better off). I feel like I'm going to start drowning in debt with interest charges. I feel like I'm a joke and worthless. She said that she knows I don't fritter money away or have anything nice for myself but I still 'live beyond my means'. I'm devastated.
Trying to rebuild my little pot of positivity and self esteem and resolve to get back to dealing with this. It's just going to be harder I guess.

Haven't been able to vent or talk to anyone so sorry to rant on here. Hubby decided to get so drunk he couldn't come home. Had to go all round the houses to get him home. Apparently no one values me much today.

Hope you all had a better start to 2016 than I did and wish you all a happy new year thank you for making me smile everyone xxx

Saver-upper

Aww,Kitten,I am sorry the talk with your mum didn't go well.It is quite shocking she considers you to be frittering :eek:.
I know you are feeling down at the moment,but I know you will regain your positivity,and get back onto it.Our babies do keep us going.
Just a quick think of other things you could do to up the income:
-do you have anyone (elderly neighbour,etc),who would pay you a few pounds to do their groceries for them.Or clean their house?
-brings me to my next point: not sure if this is practical,but what about a couple of hours a week cleaning for other people.I know hubby is going away now,but maybe when he gets back, ORRRRR,maybe people would allow you to bring kids with you to work. (I don't think my 16-month-aparts would have let me do it when they were as little as yours).
I have had my cleaning business for nearly 6 years now.When I first started,I advertised (a single listing on the Netmums website),saying that I could only work on weekends.As my reputation grew,I had so much demand,and I arranged to bring my 1 or 2 children to work during the week,customers paid me £7.50/hour instead of my standard £8.00/hour,and the kids either watched tv or played with customer's children.Now all my kids are at school,I work school hours,term time only (special exception during summer holidays,when inlaws help out babysitting),and charge £11/hour.I am self-employed,work my own hours,have a regular client base (my choice-you could chose to ongoing advertising and pick up work when you feel like it,don't work when you can't).Would your mum baby-sit for 1-2 days a week,or a week a month?
I hope you start feeling a bit brighter soon.I know it must have been a kick in the teeth for you.
I shall be back to see how you are going.
Take care x

chanie

Oh, kitten, I'm sorry to hear your Mum didn't give you the help you asked for. Maybe it's for the best, as it first-round like she would let you forget it, if she agreed.

I don't have any words of wisdom, other than keep your chin up, it won't always be like this.

lilmissmup

Sorry to hear the chat didn't go well.

I am more than happy to chat via pm, email or FB if you want tips on extra pennies.

Sorry your hubby wasn't a fab support either

Rebecca01

Ohh Kitten so sorry to read this. Sorry the chat did not go well.

You can do this and you can prove them wrong. We are all here for you to vent and offer ideas.

Have a good sleep and hopefully some of your positivity will return tomorrow. Big hugs xx

Willy_Nilly_Milly

Just read through you diary and it has taken me back 8 years. I was in a similar situation, two young children, 2 years apart, living in a flat (council not swanky new!!). I remember desperately trying to pay off student debts when I was only getting SMP and it was a nightmare. The one thing I'd say though is although you want to make massive payments and really reduce your debts, just by being on here and watching the pennies you are making sure that you aren't getting into even more debt, and by the sounds of it you definitely aren't being frivolous with your money. Enjoy your children while they are young keep doing what you are doing. I always found that the weeks/months when I couldn't make money I'd just try extra hard to save money, batch cooking and trawling for bargains for meals at the supermarket etc.
Happy New Year!!

Kitten868

Thank you all so much. I've really taken on board everything you've said and reflected a lot about everything. I've done a massive u-turn on everything.

We aren't moving. I can't bear to give up this great lifestyle for the girls. It's not that I don't like where we are going it's just it is perfect here. Parents and family. Horse riding, ballet, swimming, don't have to drive to go for a bike ride. No crime. The most beautiful wonderful schools with glowing reports and a real focus on relationships. And I can't cope with not working.
I'm going to cut down to 2 days a week at work - not going to pay off as much debt but I need to focus on how to manage on my own with two children and not put too much on our mums. They are so good to us.

Changing the way we do finances completely to help mr kitten get on board.

It's a bit of a bummer as it means no house (possibly ever lol) and no garden. But time with babies which is the most important thing. Come September dd1 starts preschool so possibly reassess work hours then. Or if I can get a new job.
I am going back to my horrible job for the foreseeable though ;(

Overall I have not rebuilt my positivity completely but I feel much better for speaking my opinions and making big decisions. I'm sure they are the right ones but feel sad for what I was going to gain from the move but hey ho.

Had some fraud on my credit card so the cards been cancelled and all I can do is pay in. Sold some baby clothes. Should be £30 tomorrow £40 today!
Plus got mr kitten to sell things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're gone!!!!!! And he got loads of money for it!

Hope you've all made a good start on 2016 resolutions! Xxx