Daring Myself to do this

Kitten868

I keep daring myself to do this then talking myself out of this. Here goes...
Happy wife and mummy of two beautiful girls. Things have changed again for me. Hubby has 6 month deployment coming up and then we are moving to base (have been living near family). Doing this means I have to give up work and I'm pooing my pants because I have this long to become DF. I can't be unemployed and in debt.
I had my LBM whilst heavily pregnant and so far paid off about £3000. £6000 to go. Don't know how to do this. I've sold everything and still on smp til March.
Plus big dilemma. Sell the flat or rent it out? Better to sell short term but better long term to keep it. Urgh! If we're even allowed.
So cataloging here to feel like I'm making some sort of progress. Been lapsing this month
Anyway hope I don't bore you all to tears xxx

Kitten868

So my nickname is because people always think this what my surname is.

Virtues
Not interested in material things

Sins
Never want my children to suffer because I'm poor

Still need to get hubby on board but I'm in charge of all finances while he's away. Ahhh!

Keep trying to focus on how far I've come but keep getting upset that all the Christmas stuff is undoing my progress.

Aims
1) get Barclees under £2000 by 1st feb
2) hammer the overdraft
3) tackle tesc0

Why is blinking baby steps?! I want speedy results

Kitten868

Progress has been so slow. I'm missing my eBay buzz. Having 2 weeks off has actually peed me off. I did need it as some people are annoying on there! Then the minute I put stuff on on auction people tell me what a 'fair price' is. Like selling off all my possessions for pennies is what I want to do lol. Hopefully this week will be a good one. Need something even a bit exciting with hubby away.
I think I'd feel better if I hadn't had to spend so much money this month!! All of it on the kids though.
Pay day on Friday. Cannot wait!!!!!!

Kitten868

Just getting rid of some cardboard boxes has made the house seem lighter again. I think I might fork out for a new airer as mine can't fold down and I'm sick of moving it around. Plus on Monday I'm going to be down a whole box of stuff thanks to eBay, I don't know what I find more therapeutic clearing space or paying debt? Need to get hubby to have a good clear out when he gets back. Otherwise I just know we'll be packing it into the moving van and finding it a new home so I can dust it while it goes unused.
Going to use the move as an excuse to cut down on cuddly toys I think. I hate cuddly toys and ornaments with a vengeance but they seem to pop up all over my house. Most of them have never been played with. Just sit in a box collecting dust.
Wish I knew what trick I'm missing with these surveys. I never seem to be what they want. I suppose poor woman in her 20s isn't most people's demographic lol.
Never mind. So divided on renting/selling the flat. Everyone keeps saying I can come back to it. I really don't want to. Ever since I fell down the steep concrete stairs holding both babies I hate this place. Feels like a death trap and every trip out has to be planned with precision. Tried to get the pram out yesterday and it was soaked before i could get baby in and that was with help! Plus we will have to sell at some point anyway as we won't qualify for a buy to let mortgage. Ugh. Don't know where to go for advice x

Kitten868

Today I got the 100 free listings and 50% off email for the weekend. So despite believing I've sold everything I'm not determined to list as many things as I can. I'm giving up on having belongings. It just feels like they're mocking me. "You bought us with money you didn't have, you're stupid". So enough with that. Plus the big move is making me seriously want to declutter big time. Need to claw back all the Christmas money I can to get credit card 2 under £2000 for New Years. I think it's about £600 so I can't do it but by jingo I'm going to try!!! Just trying to work out what will sell. Trying to get hubby on board but he's not buying it. When we move he'll he taking all the stuff he brought here untouched. It's been 2 and a half years.
Plus really happy giving our old Christmas tree to the women's refuge. Was going to sell it but I'm much happier this way. They want food too but I don't have anything in the cupboards... Or the freezer for that matter. Buying as I can. I don't know what would be best to get either. Soup? Not like I can donate bread & milk. Any ideas appreciated. Xxx

Rebecca01

Hi Kitten

Just wanted to say Hi and Good Luck. You seem really down and confused. On here is great support and people give great advice. It must be hard with oh being deployed. I just want to give you a hug.

Why dont you post a SOA and tell us more about the flat. Then maybe people on here could give their ideas from an outside perspective.

You seem determined so thats good. Keep up the determination and you will get there.

Kitten868

Sorry I come across as down. I'm really not. Just struggling a bit with terrible twos and no contact with hubby. Dont mean to sound it. But scatty and confused. YES!!! I am all over the place. Just want to be a responsible adult now I'm a mummy of two.

I feel a bit lost on here too as most of the diaries are from people on much bigger wages than mine. Making bigger dents. And it's cliquey but I really want to join!!! It's so friendly and encouraging on here.
I'm just going to keep posting and reading til I get it right hoping I'll be able to help others too.
How are you doing? Xxx

Kitten868

Flats a brand new build 2 bedroom all under warranty and nhbc so it would be great for not causing problems to tenants but would devastate me if ruined. X

Rebecca01

It is hard having a children with no help. I found it hard with just one. Let alone two.
Dont worry about the incomes on here. It varies greatly. No matter what the dent as long as you chip away. It all helps.

Kitten868

So great news my eBay finished yesterday on £98. Only 3 things didn't sell. Plus about £25 for some more books with webuybooks and ziffit. So a trip to the charity shop and post office on the cards. I would have it done by now but mine are the sort of children who won't be put down. If I put her down she'll wake up.
Playgroup went so well today. Only one screaming fit! And she listened to other adults so fantastic.
On a downer only listed 21 items yesterday... No where near my 50 target but better than nothing.
The whole house is a tip but I don't care today. It will get sorted. Have to move around dds bedroom but that's not going to work with two babies around my ankles. Will have to recruit. I think I'm having a visitor tomorrow so may do a disappearing act lol.
I set myself too many tasks today that require I be mobile. Feel really rough due to the wetting the bed fiasco last night. Have to settle both of them. Both hysterical bless them.
It's weird you don't know tired til you've had kids. It's not even like fatigue, it's like a ripping agony in my head.
Just need a couple of hours to run around like a mad woman without interruptions. Never mind lol
Hope everyone has had a good start to their mse week. Going to aim for as many nsds as I can this week. Like 3 or 4. X

Kitten868

Feeling a bit crappy. My sister has now said that my wedding dress was cheap and crap. I'm getting really fed up with her condemning everything about my lifestyle. I've always lived thriftily and not been interested in designer stuff. She is really making me feel like crap for trying to take control of my financial situation. Selling things on eBay is nasty, getting rid of my things is nasty, not shopping at waitrose nasty. It's like everything about me disgusts her. She undermines me as a parent too (despite being childless and, if honest, she's a bit cruel)
I haven't changed what I buy since I started really and I am proud of my family and myself but I am fed up hearing it. I'm basically a joke to her.

Rant over and I feel better. I have run out of stuff to eBay! This is odd. Won't last long as dd2 has outgrown the latest size again. Producing 99.6th percentile children means you get through baby clothes at the rate of knots. Going into 9-12 and she's only 4 months.
Put the tree up today and it's the best ever. Almost borders on American in size! It's a beast. Especially after the 'Charlie brown tree' we had. So excited for Christmas. Don't know how dd2 is going to take it but I know it'll be great. You don't realise how much stuff you have til you get it out. Christmas is nuts! I love it! Plus nothing fits in my living room now haha. Oh I found so many creepy talking/singing Christmas toys!
Really recommend the jolly Christmas postman book after reading it today.
Oh and did the event today. My neighbours gave me loads of food to give to the women's refuge! So touched by their generosity. I only mentioned it to them. I just took my tree and nappies and all my change. I just don't have anything to give.
Plus dd1 has hidden my debit card. Good way to cut spending!! I am going to hold back on getting a new one.
Hope everyone else is doing well debt wise xxx