7 years - no proposal

Pixie5740

When was the last time you saw all these aunts, uncles and cousins?

DS4215

Guest101 wrote: »

You do know you can propose to him right?....

Not only can you propose to him, but early next year is Leap Day - and isn't it traditional for women to propose on that day....

Blueskies21

Not for a while. I'm not close to them. So I guess I wouldn't care too much if they weren't there but it may upset my mum and dad etc.

I think 30 would be fine for him (not too big) but he said he thinks it'll make him look as if he's cheap and doesn't want to spend money and so if we are having a small wedding he'd rather go abroad.

In all honesty I don't really care where it is. I'd just rather it be sooner rather than later but he doesn't seem to want that. He wants to put it off and by that time we will have a 6 year old and maybe 7 by the time he has a sibling and I would just like them to be closer in age.

Mojisola

Blueskies21 wrote: »

I think 30 would be fine for him (not too big) but he said he thinks it'll make him look as if he's cheap and doesn't want to spend money and so if we are having a small wedding he'd rather go abroad.

I think that's one excuse too many. I'd be putting my foot down at this stage.

ajsexton

Friends of mine did a bit of a mixed bag

They did a very small registry office (just immediate family only), then close friends went to the pub with them that night (her in a wedding dress) then a month or so later a small (about 25) group of family and friends went to the domican republic for 2 weeks, they had another ceremony out there too ...

Worked brilliantly for them, there son was about 3 at the time, and it was the first abroad holiday for me and my now wife

On the other hand me and my wife had the whole church / hotel wedding with limited guests (50-60 day + 30ish extra for the night) that was right for us.

I don't like being centre of attention either but I survived (even enjoyed it, but it was very tiring), including a first dance which we'd had a few lessons for (no one else knew about that)

I will say I found being best man for my brother last year was the more nerve wracking one as I hate public speaking

Pixie5740

A small wedding of 30 at home is one thing (and could be a very nice thing), expecting 30 guests to pay for flights and accommodation abroad is another.

I agree that you have to compromise in a relationship but it is starting to sound as though he is making excuses and doesn't really want to get married.

firebird082

You don't need a proposal to get married...start talking to him about where the compromise will be and what the day will look like, then book it!

euronorris

Mojisola wrote: »

I think that's one excuse too many. I'd be putting my foot down at this stage.

Yeah, he can't have it all ways. Either he wants to get married and is willing to compromise, as you are, or he isn't. He can't just have it all his way.

fairy_lights

Blueskies21 wrote: »

He said he would marry me tomorrow as long as we can go abroad and just have a small wedding. But he still hasn't proposed so we can't even begin to plan anything

I don't get it. You want to get married, he has told you he would marry you tomorrow...so why are you holding out for a big fancy proposal? Why will him saying "will you marry me?" mean more than him saying "I'd marry you tomorrow"? You've agreed to get married so you are in effect engaged.
Also, if having a proposal means so much to you, why don't YOU propose to HIM?

Lunar_Eclipse

Assuming he is happy to marry you and not making excuses to avoid it, I would just get married. Christmas wedding? And then try for a baby. I am concerned by his excuses though: centre of attention which sounds untrue, money which isn't an issue, too much going on which only you can know about.

I wouldn't wait till next year or the year after personally. Also, if he isn't ready, I imagine he never will be; I'd decide whether to stay with him unmarried, or move on because he can't make the commitment you desire.

I had a reasonably sized wedding that was expensive. I didn't get the hype then and I still don't get it now. Yes it's a cause for celebration. But not for buying in to all the hype and wasting so much money. Your memories will be created by your attitude and how you feel on the day. A lovely ring lasts a lifetime (unless you lose it as I sadly have) but an expensive dress is usually only worn once.