Do I hire a private investigator

moneyistooshorttomention

Personally - various posters on here have made useful suggestions on ways OP might be able to find out some more information.

I'd follow up on those ways first and, if I still didn't have enough information, then I'd check out PI's as to what their charges would be and employ one if need be (if I could afford the money to do so).

After all - might as well sell that expensive ring. I wouldn't want a reminder of a "false" relationship like that personally and would sell it anyway. The money from it would come in handy to fund any PI I decided to employ.

I would want to at least try and find out what information I could - so that I knew the fullest possible picture of what had happened to me. With a child in the picture as well - then its all the more important to try and find - ie before that child starts asking questions.

It certainly sounds like he is from Birmingham - but Birmingham is a mighty big place to be looking for someone.

The one thought I have is that maybe OP knows of some particular hobbies/interests he is very interested in and would be likely to try and pursue wherever he lived and look for groups in the Birmingham area that follow those hobbies/interests and see if he can be tracked down that way.

makingplans4nigel

d70cw6 wrote: »

does he work for her majesty's secret service?

I was going to suggest covert police operation. Maybe the OP's neighbour was under surveillance.

Guest101

Apologies if my point was poorly explained.
I know conmen exist and trick people into giving them loads of cash, but in this case that hasn’t happened.
The ex didn’t suddenly borrow £x and then disappear. If anything it seems the ex was supportive (which I assume included financially) and at least appeared well off.
If someone had said:
“Been with my ex for 4 years. I was a foster child as my family had all died whilst I was a baby. I don’t get on with my foster family, but I have a good job and money from my family inheritance.
She had trust issues. Would question me about where I was (I work away a lot), check my phone and personal belongings – nothing to be found, but wouldn’t believe me.
I even once wanted to surprise her by buying her a new car, but she turned up to the showroom and started questioning me.
Eventually I had enough and had to leave as I had no trust from her and her family.”
I think most posters would be shocked at the exes behaviour.

[Deleted User]

Guest101 wrote: »

Eventually I had enough and had to leave as I had no trust from her and her family.”

And I also broke off all contact with my child, just for the hell of it too..

That bit is the oddest bit of the story I feel

Guest101

ringo_24601 wrote: »

And I also broke off all contact with my child, just for the hell of it too..

That bit is the oddest bit of the story I feel

Agreed - that bit doesn't make much sense.

mai_taylor

Guest101 wrote: »

Apologies if my point was poorly explained.
I know conmen exist and trick people into giving them loads of cash, but in this case that hasn’t happened.
The ex didn’t suddenly borrow £x and then disappear. If anything it seems the ex was supportive (which I assume included financially) and at least appeared well off.
If someone had said:
“Been with my ex for 4 years. I was a foster child as my family had all died whilst I was a baby. I don’t get on with my foster family, but I have a good job and money from my family inheritance.
She had trust issues. Would question me about where I was (I work away a lot), check my phone and personal belongings – nothing to be found, but wouldn’t believe me.
I even once wanted to surprise her by buying her a new car, but she turned up to the showroom and started questioning me.
Eventually I had enough and had to leave as I had no trust from her and her family.”
I think most posters would be shocked at the exes behaviour.

Yes he may have had enough of the relationship and wanted to end it but what supposedly loving father would just leave their child and completely disappear? Why wouldn't he just say sorry I don't want to be with you anymore, I'll come back and see the child when I've got myself sorted? Sounds very odd to me.

Also if this story is true it doesn't sound like he was trying to con her out of money but that he did have another family. I've been on a wedding forum for a few years and this type of story comes up surprisingly often.

Op if it was me I know I couldn't just let this go. Try and find out as much as you can on your own first then see how much a PI would be.

fairy_lights

Guest101 wrote: »

Agreed - that bit doesn't make much sense.

It's all of his friends vanishing off facebook that doesn't make any sense to me - He might have blocked her himself, maybe even persuaded his best friend to block her too, but his whole friends list? :eek:

whitewing

Presume he set up his friends himself.

Guest101

fairy_lights wrote: »

It's all of his friends vanishing off facebook that doesn't make any sense to me - He might have blocked her himself, maybe even persuaded his best friend to block her too, but his whole friends list? :eek:

But what kind of person notes down the names of all their partners work colleagues? 1 or 2 maybe.

fairy_lights

whitewing wrote: »

Presume he set up his friends himself.

Which just seems so insane...to have created (depending how many facebook friends he had) dozens of fake accounts based on fake friends, he would have had to set up email addresses for each of them, find photos to use on their profiles, made up details and posts etc. He could have just told OP that he doesn't use facebook and didn't have a profile instead of going to such weird lengths.