Do I hire a private investigator

TonyMMM

Assuming he registered the birth with you, then you have a name (real or not) and place of birth for him. It is then very straightforward to look for a birth certificate under those details.

Mojisola

Quote from Guest101 - Together we have a two year old son, were due to marry next year and had an excellent relationship. – Ok. It’s odd for a ‘conman’ to be with someone for 4 years, have a child with them and all that. Where’s the end game?

Some conmen make their living this way - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3268753/I-handed-Kenyan-husband-25-000-d-got-47-women-world-Retired-teacher-61-duped-lothario-met-UK-dating-site.html

Quids_Inn

In this country, we have a 'driving licence' the Americans have a 'drivers (sic) license'
In this country we call our mothers 'mum' the Americans call their mothers 'mom'

And you didn't know an Audi R8 was an expensive car but you're well enough educated to write 'the company he said he worked for was liquidated'

LandyAndy

Quids_Inn wrote: »

In this country, we have a 'driving licence' the Americans have a 'drivers (sic) license'
In this country we call our mothers 'mum' the Americans call their mothers 'mom'

And you didn't know an Audi R8 was an expensive car but you're well enough educated to write 'the company he said he worked for was liquidated'

That amused me. You'd only have to see an R8 for one second to know it was a very expensive car.

Mojisola

Quids_Inn wrote: »

In this country we call our mothers 'mum' the Americans call their mothers 'mom'

So do people who grew up around Birmingham.

fairy_lights

Shelly193 wrote: »

All of his facebook has been deleted, including the profiles of every friend he had which is strange. The phone number has been deactivated, and the company he said he worked for was liquidated.

Did you ever meet any of his friends in real life?

RichardD1970

Quids_Inn wrote: »

In this country, we have a 'driving licence' the Americans have a 'drivers (sic) license'
In this country we call our mothers 'mum' the Americans call their mothers 'mom'

And you didn't know an Audi R8 was an expensive car but you're well enough educated to write 'the company he said he worked for was liquidated'

Just to point out that in Birmingham and the Midlands Mom is the predominant form used.

Drivers/Driving licence, too much american TV.

My thoughts run along the lines of Guest101.

Stevie_Palimo

I'd put bets on here he was either a drugs dealer or had a string of women he was duping out of money, In any event you are far better off without this person in your life and more so in your child's life, This is blunt but I believe you need to be advised/told :- Do not waste any time/expense searching thinking about this guy as it is clear he was/is a unscrupulous individual who I reckon would cause you more harm in the long term.


You may think at the moment that life is difficult due to loving him and the constant thoughts of worry and angst but seriously this will heal and you would far better off concentrating on bringing your child with your family supporting you and await someone new coming into your life further down the line.

duchy

scooby088 wrote: »

Maybe he is married, weeks away spinning this line to others. Or maybe this story is too far fetched to believe.

It does sound far fetched until you meet a man who has actually done this.

Usually there is another family/relationship and the man sticks around until he's about to be caught out and then moves on/vanishes.

It works on the Big Lie basis. That there is no logical reason why anyone would tell such enormous and continuous lies within a committed relationship therefore what they say about family members been dead, working away with a whole web of non existant friends to back up the lies logically must be true as no-one would tell such dreadful lies .......to the @normal mind..

Most people couldn't and wouldn't want to have to lie and remember all the past lies -or be in a relationship where they can never relax 100% with their partner in case they slip up.

I knew a man who had been leading this kind of life for at least ten years and I do believe it's a mental health issue and is due to emotional damage and they are incapable of giving themselves entirely in a relationship.

OP try not to torture yourself with the whys...... It isn't you it's him and better to know now than have your child have to deal with him disappearing later on -as inevitably men like this do disappear sooner or later . If you do find him you'll get spun a new set of lies - and later on he'll vanish again. As someone else said - find him for child support and nothing else -although odds are he will vanish again at some point so it may not be worth the expense/effort.

Mojisola

danandjens_worldtravels wrote: »

If you still have access to any of his profile pictures, or those of his friends you can search Google images.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QLgTtSRQOco

I would do this before spending any money on a PI.

You must have some photos of him if you've been together for four years.