Name change after marriage?

lulalola

Another vote for sticking to your guns and suggesting to hubby-to-be that if he's that fussed about having the same name, he can take yours!

mrs_thrifty_2

Why can't you tack his name on the end of yours thus taking his name as the family name but keeping yours as well for yourself. Eg Miss Green becomes Mrs Green Smith.

gettingtheresometime

mrs_thrifty wrote: »

Why can't you tack his name on the end of yours thus taking his name as the family name but keeping yours as well for yourself. Eg Miss Green becomes Mrs Green Smith.

Isn't that just double barrelling ?

SeduLOUs

mrs_thrifty wrote: »

Why can't you tack his name on the end of yours thus taking his name as the family name but keeping yours as well for yourself. Eg Miss Green becomes Mrs Green Smith.

But then what does daughter do when she marries Mr Jones? Become Mrs Green Smith Jones?!

Elfbert

I don't think stuffing the other partner's name in as an extra middle name is the same as double-barrelling. You don't have to use it all the time, at least.

I'll probably stick my partner's name in as an extra middle name, and likewise, when we have kids, whichever one we don't use as a surname will go in as a second middle name, just so the kids have it in reserve if they want it!

I've got loads of friends who wish they had their Mum's maiden name as a part of their name - usually because it's nice or unusual compared to a common father's name.

Likewise I know some people who have an odd 'family' name as a middle name, that's been passed down the generations..

But at least it's a talking point when your middle name is Cornelius or Trant...

SingleSue

We looked at double barrelling our names when we married as I liked my maiden name but in the end I went with his. Fast forward to when eldest was of age and he (our son) double barrelled our surnames as he wanted to honour his grandfather and his family line.

System

I can understand someone not wanting to change their surname is the names means so much to then, and in this day and age it shouldn't be an issue.

Personally though i will 100% change my surname, my surname is my bio dad's and seeing as we haven;t spoken in over 10 years and i don;t forsee us ever speaking i'd like to get as far away from that name as possible. I;ve wanted to change it by deed poll to my stepdad's (and mum and siblings) surname but its something i feel i should have done sooner and i've left it too late. I worry my parents will think "why now" when i've had 10 years to do it But yes, if i get married i will take their name (plus my first name does sound rather elegant with the bf's surname )

coolcait

SeduLOUs wrote: »

But then what does daughter do when she marries Mr Jones? Become Mrs Green Smith Jones?!

If double barrelling becomes common, we'll develop a system to deal with that situation. Just as we developed 'double barrelling' to deal with the 'What do I call myself after marriage?' question.


It might be along the lines of the Hispanic naming system (nods to Benjus).


As Benjus mentioned, in that system most people have two surnames.


If Mr Jones Brown and Ms Green Smith have a child, then that child will be Baby Jones Green (father's first surname; mother's first surname).


If Baby Jones Green is a girl, not only will no one ever put her in a corner, no one will expect her to change her surname on marriage.

Mrs_Ryan

OH and I aren't married (he refuses but don't get me started on that) but I've took his surname and double barrelled it with mine. We don't have kids but it something I wanted to do. Unfortunately his surname sounded better put second so I tend to get a lot of 'Mrs X' when in fact I'm technically 'Miss Y' one thing I have been very firm about is that I'm still Miss. I tried Ms for a while but I always ended up getting 'Mrs' which I'm not so I reverted to Miss. My mum is convinced I'm a Ms but I keep saying to her er no I'm still Miss

we've had a lot of work done on the bathroom and we used a small electrical firm- the lady in the office kept referring to me as Mrs X and it was just easier not to correct her until one day I phoned, she didn't realise it was me, and I said 'It's Miss Y of..' And she said 'oh I'm sorry, I just assumed you two were married!' OH heard this so I shot him a look and said 'no, I'm just his girlfriend!' (He absolutely hates the fact I refer to myself as his girlfriend as he thinks 'it doesn't show commitment and were partners' I hate the term partner, I really do and he knows this)

I would actually quite like to have my grandma's maiden name as a surname. One of the reasons I took OH's name is that it more accurately reflects my Irish heritage but my name is my beloved Dad's surname and both him and I consider my grandmas maiden name to be our family name. However his dementia means he wouldn't get it if I took it now, and I already have two middle names so another would be out the question!

Names are a complex thing and I guess the only person that can make that call is the person who is going to use it day in day out. Sometimes I hate my double barrelled name and sometimes I love it as its a bit different. You just have to make that call.

Mojisola

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

My mum is convinced I'm a Ms but I keep saying to her er no I'm still Miss

Seeing as 'Ms' is the female equivalent of 'Mr', you are a 'Ms' as well as a 'Miss'.