Name change after marriage?

minerva_windsong

If you want to keep it, then do it - it's your name! If your OH doesn't feel that strongly about it (ie it's more he'd like you to do it but doesn't mind rather than he'll call off the wedding if you don't) and it's just other people saying 'it's what you should do' then it's none of their business.

I was very close to keeping my maiden name because until recently I was the last one in the family with the name (two older sisters both married and took husband's name, dad's only brother didn't have any kids) and because it's quite unusual I wanted to keep it going. However my uncle does now have a son so the name will keep going for another generation - if he hadn't I probably would have kept it.

I'm still known by my maiden name at work and on my passport, but everything else is now in my married name.

Izadora

o01shorty10o wrote: »

It sounds silly and exactly everyone tells me so but it really is! Its my name, I have to decide whether to change it and to me that is a big decision that I simply wanted to talk out with somebody. I chose here to get honest opinions

It's really not silly at all, I've got a very uncommon surname and know exactly how you feel.

I'm glad that I'm not bothered about getting married as it's not an issue that's likely to come up but even as a child I was adamant that nobody was ever going to make me give up my name.

Pricivius

Mojisola wrote: »

Is there any legislation or is it just tradition?

I haven't been able to find any legislation that requires men to use deed poll whilst women don't have to. I changed my surname without using deed poll, as did my brother and sister, so it would be surprising to learn that the law prohibits this.

Mojisola

Pricivius wrote: »

I haven't been able to find any legislation that requires men to use deed poll whilst women don't have to. I changed my surname without using deed poll, as did my brother and sister, so it would be surprising to learn that the law prohibits this.

That's what I thought.

Some companies can be awkward if a husband tries to change his name to his wife's surname but that only because they don't come across it very often.

TBagpuss

emmatthews wrote: »

I don't think it matters, can't believe it is still an issue!

However, I would suggest you think about any future children you may decide to have. Our children were given my husbands name and I really disliked having a different name to them. I didn't even realise this would be an issue for me! I am not a fan of double barrelled names and would never have chosen that route.

I have now changed my name and much prefer having a family name rather than being 'different'. I have a couple of unmarried friends who have children and they dislike having a different name to their children as well. It's obviously not something that bothers everyone, but something to think about if you intend to have a family (another thing that everyone will have an opinion on!)

no reason why the children can't have their mum's name, if there are any children. Or both names, or male children have his and female have hers (or vice versa)

One of my aunts kept her name when she got married. The children have her surname (one born prior to the wedding, one after)
Her husband has not changed his name. Sometimes he is referred to as 'Mr Aunt's name', and that's fine. They considered changing to all be the same when they moved house and the children were changing shcools, but decided against it in the end.

And while it is correct that it is marginally simpler for a woman to change her name on marriage than for a man to do so, a name change is not difficult or expensive. The hassle is updating everything else, and it isn't any more or less of a faff if you are showing them all a copy of a marriage certificate or if you are showing them all a copy change of name deed.

There's no law - anyone can call themselves anything they want to, as long as there is no intent to defraud. It's the various organisations such as banks, DVLA etc that like paperwork!

pickledonionspaceraider

I didn't change my surname. No one has batted an eyelid about it

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I'm in my 30s and am genuinely surprised at how many of my friends changed their names on marriage (all but two I think). However, none of them have married someone with an ugly or difficult surname, so I wonder how much that has influenced decisions eg would my friend Kelly have changed her name if she married an Irish Mr Kelly?

Another thing is that your parents have (hopefully) chosen your name with a view as to how it matches your surname. That goes out of the window when you take another; presumably nobody would choose to saddle a child with Joan Jones, Kate Thwaite, Donna Conner, Poppy Fields, Fay Fahy etc.

Something that personally really grates on me is women being described as Mrs Joe Bloggs, as though they don't even have a first name any more and are just an appendage of their husband. Can you imagine men putting up with being called Mr Josie Bloggs?

fairy_lights

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

presumably nobody would choose to saddle a child with Joan Jones, Kate Thwaite, Donna Conner, Poppy Fields, Fay Fahy etc.

You'd think, wouldn't you? But I've known several 'Lee Kings' and a baby called Morgan Freeman.

LilElvis

fairy_lights wrote: »

You'd think, wouldn't you? But I've known several 'Lee Kings' and a baby called Morgan Freeman.

My Mum used to teach and I still remember her choking with laughter when she saw that a pupil joining her class was called Russell Hobbs. The worst one though was a poor kid who had been called Donald Duck!!!!

bugslet

Never wanted to get married, so moot point, but had I wanted to, I wouldn't have changed my name. Nothing to do with caring or not caring about the other person, purely I don't want to change from my name.

I used to run trucks with my name on, that really is a good excuse for not changing:D