In a quandary with husband's work issue. Warning long post.

Littlebettyboop

Thanks so much everyone for your kind help. I do appreciate it.

I shall keep you posted.

FBaby

To hell with me! You and the kids have a great time without me!'

It all comes down to this. He is jealous and envious, and the more you tell him to be reasonable, the more he will rebel. Just stop discussing the matter, let him go over the disappointment (which he seems to be taking as grief!), and support him by telling him you understand his frustration and will work together to make it ok for him. That's when he will say that of course he won't go off sick. Right now, he is reacting out of anger.

Running_Horse

My shift job means working some days and hours I would rather be at home. Tough. That's the job. If I don't like it I could leave. If I start playing silly beggars with sickness, I can expect to be scrutinised and sent to occupational health. Shift work usually brings a premium that is paid for a reason. He can always get a 9 to 5 job on lower money if the working conditions no longer suit.

Tygermoth

I would also be a bit worried if he did pull off the sicky it would be a slippery slope.

'Well I worked loads i deserve the weekend with the football & my mates ...and so on'

My best friend (who i love dearly but was a right idiot in the case) was coasting in her job. She was very well paid and as the longest standing staff member was put on quite a bit.

Then formal rostering came in and she lost out on some of the softer nicer parts of her role. However as she thought that 1. she was indispensable 2. did a darn sight more than any one else, which to be fair she did. She would throw the odd sicky... and slowly over time that moved into late lunches... that creeped into lates starts and slid slowly on to early finishes.

She was caught out in the end, and freely admitted that because she coudent have cared less about the job either way this kind of apathy can creep in. especially as the management were unjust and two faced it can make you feel even more in the right and that you were getting 'one over' on them.

It didnt end well - she lost her house, boyfriend and had a bit of a breakdown after. This being said she ended up going back to uni and now travels the world in a job she adores. I also was badly tarnished even though i had nothing to do with it. i ended up having to leave as i was being unfairly scrutinised for genuine illness and shift changes where ten weeks or so after a shift was altered (by a manager - but being so long ago no one could remember what the changes were for) they would question me relentlessly as they thought i was starting to go down the same road (different site but same company - my friend and i never directly worked together)

katsu

His employer is entitled to discipline him on the grounds that they don't believe he is sick. If he has been mouthing off at work about this or is known to say he will never work Xmas, plus having allured for the time off,then they can discipline him because they don't believe he suddenly got ill. They might decide to give him a final written warning rather then sack him for that.

They could also say 2 weeks exceeds their annual sickness targets and discipline him for the amount of it, treating it as if they believed him.

I would go with letting him calm down for a while and planning your family Christmas for his non rota days and telling him that "oh, shall we use I player to watch the Queen's speech or shall we skip that in favour of X...."

meer53

Agree with his plan, then tell him that if he manages to keep his job, he will be first in line to work next Xmas. Then i'd tell him that you have plans for Xmas and Boxing day and if he'd like to join you at the homeless shelter he's welcome.

He sounds like a right k***head. For me, i wouldn't be able to remain civil with someone who is so selfish.

margaretclare

I don't think I can add anything useful to what others have said. I do, however, remember what it was like trying to cover Christmas/New Year and any other 'popular' times of year for being off work and with your family. It can be an impossibility. A huge headache for anyone trying to maintain cover for an essential service.

I think that saying 'my mother died at Christmas therefore I can never be expected to work any Christmas ever again' is an impossibility. The fact that someone died at Christmas rather than at any other time of the year shouldn't mean that you can irresponsibly lay your problems on the health services by claiming illness.

Faith177

He is incredibly lucky he has had so many Christmas and New Years off. I've been with OH for 7 years now and we have only had 1 Christmas together and no New Years. OH worked in a pub so would start work 8am Christmas Eve finish at 2am be back in for 8am Christmas Day get home 9pm Christmas Day go straight to bed as shattered and be back in again at 8am Boxing Day till 2am the 27th same again at New Year

As a stroke of luck he had Christmas Day and Boxing Day off last year so we managed to visit my mum in Scotland we drove up after work Christmas Eve. I'm pleased we did it as unknown to us at the time it was to be my mums last Christmas she passed away in Feb.

He has since changed jobs and will have both off this year which is again lucky as every Christmas I have spent at my mums and all the rest of my family are away that time of year so if he wasn't off I would be at home on my own with just my memories.

Tell him to either put up or get a new job there are others who would long to be able to have even another Christmas with their families let alone just having it on a different day because of work

Indie_Kid

I'm trying to remember the last time mum didn't work Christmas Day. her managers argument always was because she doesn't have young children. That was even when her youngest was 9.

One of the people she works for, actually gives her the time off at Christmas. (she's a carer)

Birdie85

I think your DH should be thankful he's had so many Christmasses off, it's about time he worked one! I used to work in a warehouse that did stock take in the period between Christmas and New Year, so whilst we got the 25th/26th off we would be in from the 27th - 31st. A small handful of people could book it off as holiday but there was a general rule that if you had one year off, you'd have to work the following year. Fair enough.

Oh and anyone who called in sick during this period would be scrutinised as it was pretty obvious who was skiving!

Your DH sounds like he needs to grow up. If he wants a new job, why not look for one now rather than once he's been fired?! I'll bet all the extra hours he's worked over the summer have been paid so it's hardly like he's going above and beyond, is it? It's his choice to work overtime and his choice to not take holiday during the summer.

Yes it sucks, but next year he'll have Christmas off and all will be well with the world and some other bloke will be moaning to his wife and threatening to pull a sickie!