In a quandary with husband's work issue. Warning long post.

Mojisola

Littlebettyboop wrote: »

I guess he could speak to her superior and explain the situation, and how often he does extra shifts and lots of cover during the year, and how aggrieved he is that she and her 2 mates are getting the time off!

Mentioning the bit in bold is unlikely to get him a fair hearing!

whitewing

I would go along with it. If he is anything like my DH, he will mean it but then not do it for various reasons.

Between now and then, you could work out a budget where you can make the lost budget (for one set of shifts) available so you don't have to worry. (You can probably cut down on grocery spends etc, if you plan things carefully). Could he do a few extra shifts too in the next couple of months.

The real danger is that you both make each other miserable and then all sense goes out of the window as you overspend on the kids to make up for the bad atmosphere etc.

Go along with his grumbles and it probably won't happen.

persa

Most places allow you to self-certify for up to 5 days, with a doctor's note required afterwards. However, if an employer thinks you're taking the mickey, they can request a doctor's note on day one.

Given your OH has made clear he doesn't want to work, when he calls in sick, it will be obvious what he's doing. His employer will request a note, he won't be able to get one, and he will be sacked. Finding a job after you've been sacked is not easy.

Would it - as others have suggested - be possible to volunteer in a soup kitchen over Christmas? Not so none of you are home when he's pretending to be sick, but so you are also 'suffering' like he is and 'working' on Christmas? I wonder if that might mitigate some of the resentment - if as a family you 'all work' on that day and celebrate your own Christmas on another day?

I know you state he's a good man in all other aspects, but the people I have worked with in the past who have effectively created their own holiday like your OH have been absolute clowns. I don't have a good word to say about any of them.

GoldenShadow

I am someone who absolutely adores xmas and it would probably completely trash it for me if I had to work. I work Mon-Fri office hours and my OH doesn't have to work xmas day, but that is the only day of the year he has off, and he could still be called in if an alarm or something goes off.

He too moans. I have basically said to him if you don't like it, then change it, but its up to you to do it. He also runs the risk of being booked off and someone going sick, then he has to go and sort it out because he is the manager. I actively encourage him to have boxing day off as well as xmas day every year on the basis that he regularly gets dragged in at silly o'clock and I think there should be some perks to being the manager.

Whilst infuriating, its up to your OH to sort it out if he isn't happy. Not sure what part of the country you're in, but the sector my OH works in pays team managers (who don't have much responsibility) more than £300 a week net, so maybe he should broaden his search a bit?

The threatening to ring in sick is just him spitting his dummy out, he needs to grow up. If he wants to lose his job fine. Even if they can't get shot of him on that alone, I am sure he would quickly rise to the top of the list of 'employees we'd rather get shot of' if the chance arose.

I'm pretty sure if he says he isn't coming in then that's unauthorised leave, it is where my OH works. Just like if people don't ring in sick and don't turn up they're classed as AWOL and get a 'you're in trouble get in touch' letter sent out in the post.

KARO

The reason that employees who are genuinely ill get faced with a disciplinary if they take more than X number of days off sick per year is because of people like your husband!

I hope that he's just throwing a strop and when the time comes he won't follow through with it, because if he does it'll be so obvious that he's skiving.

FBaby

Your husband clearly doesn't like his job and as a result, he can't help but feel envious of your situation. If indeed it is the case that you have it better than him, then it would probably help him if you showed that you acknowledge that you have it better than him and that you do sympathise with the situation.

Saying that, his attitude is so wrong. Why does he think he should be entitled to have all Christmas off? He has been incredibly lucky to have all those Christmases off when he was able to spend the day with his children. How many parents of young children ended up working and not spending the day with them? He might hate his job, but that doesn't give him any entitlement over his colleagues. I think the manager arranged a very fair system for all.

What can you do though? Be both supportive of the fact that you do realise that you are very lucky not to have to worry about working in Christmas. Do suggest you celebrate another day because you couldn't have fun knowing he is stuck at work. Say that you will pretend it is not Christmas etc..., but at the same time, remind him that going off sick will mean him taking away the joy of sharing Christmas with their family as planned so that he can do so at their expense. Is he really that selfish that he wouldn't be eaten by guilt?

gettingtheresometime

thb there aren't that many places that shut down over Christmas....though many places are open on skeleton staff.

My OH and I are opposite to you - OH doesn't work over Christmas and would prefer to go away then but as I can't guarantee it then we've rarely gone away.

If he won't see sense -and I think he's going to be so stubborn about it then appealing to his conscious about someone else having to work it is pointless imo - then I would start cutting back now to the extent I would be saving his wages and living on your own wage....and when he complains then tell him he'd better get used to it because it will be like that when he's sacked for GM if he does what he says he's going to do.

nwc389

I'm guessing the Christmas rota has just been announced and your OH is annoyed and having a vent - and you are getting the brunt !!!
My OH has been known to come out with equally stupid stuff over the years but basically it was all hot air .
Best advice don't get involved as you're only giving him an excuse to keep moaning , come Christmas he'll work but expect him to be feeling extremely sorry for himself so you may have to temper your enjoyment of your Christmas break !

Arthog

I think the management are considerably at fault here. There are so many possible ways of arranging cover for this major festival. Have they realistically assessed what cover is needed? What about volunteers to work- not everyone is wild about Christmas! What about separating Christmas and New Year? What about working half shifts, or rearranging the start times etc at that time?


Can your OH and workmates have a meeting and make suggestions about the holiday?
It is a long way off!

BigAunty

I'm not surprised the supervisors have switched it to mandatory shift pattern arrangements given the large scale abuse that took place last year that must have affected operations.

What does the Union say about the new system? Is it possible for the employees or Union to negotiate compulsory working for those on the rota with an agreed exception for anyone who can find cover (and hold the cover person responsible for a no-show)? I've worked in places where the management have been held to account by the Unions for changing tea break times ....

I have worked for a company with a 6 on/4 off pattern which had a shift allowance. Despite the tedious content of the job(relatively stress free, too), people stayed for years because they like having 12 days off each month on average and pay that was around 20% more than other jobs.

I expect that's what it's like for your hubby - happy to drift, better the devil you know, etc.

Is he prone to tantrums and snap judgements in the manner he reacted to the news of the festive shift patterns in other areas too?