In a quandary with husband's work issue. Warning long post.

pinkshoes

I would definitely go with working in a soup kitchen on christmas day. If you are not there, then he is hardly going to get the Christmas day he is after!

Person_one

You must be so annoyed and frustrated by this, he's acting like a petulant child! Is he like this in other aspects of his life or is normally rational but has a massive cob on over this one thing? Any chance he'll calm down and see sense before Christmas? After all it's only early September!

Does he think it's right that by refusing to work Christmas ever, he's essentially saying that he is more special and important and more deserving if that time off than his colleagues? Has he considered if that way at all?

fairy_lights

Maybe you need to remind him that if he doesn't work over Christmas, someone else will have to do it instead and that person may have small children, may also have lost relatives around Christmas, may rarely get to see their own family etc.
Reading what you say about him not liking his job but not being motivated to find something else makes me wonder if on some level he's trying to get fired because he wants out but doesn't feel brave enough to quit?

Littlebettyboop

Loz01 wrote: »

This reminds me of my old place of work..! (a shop) - every year the same supervisors/shift leaders would not even be on the rota over xmas and new year or one woman had a "chest infection" 3 years in a row, conveniently over Christmas (probably because she smoked 45 a day) - and everyone else was left to work xmas eve, boxing day, new years eve, new years day etc, it was a joke and part of the reason I actually left. If you weren't in the little clique with the supervisors, you had no chance of getting days off. People I worked with would go clubbing and not turn up to work and not even get told off for it.

I guess your OH could go in and explain what hes done over the past x amount of years for the company and suggest a middle ground solution?

That is awful and yes it does sound like my husband's place of work. If your face fits......

He has discussed with the manager that he does soooo much cover during the whole year, (summer, Easter, all bank holidays,) and all he wants is Christmas off, and it's not fair he works Christmas AND new year. I mean, last year when he was rostered OFF for both, he was made to switch his days so he had to work one or the other. Yet this year, he is being made to work both. So it is rather unfair, but she will not budge.

I guess he could speak to her superior and explain the situation, and how often he does extra shifts and lots of cover during the year, and how aggrieved he is that she and her 2 mates are getting the time off! It can't hurt I guess.

But ringing in sick for 2 weeks is something I cannot support. In fact, I am furious with him for even suggesting it.

HappyMJ wrote: »

Gross misconduct is the reason.

Basically

You can dismiss an employee if:

they’re incapable of doing their job to the required standard
they’re capable, but unwilling to do their job properly
they’ve committed some form of misconduct

Than you MJ.

pinkshoes wrote: »

Well just tell him you are defintiely not doing Christmas on the 25th, and instead it will be on the 28th, so if he takes the day off you will be very disappointed in him and a waste of an unpaid day.

Can you volunteer to work in a soup kitchen on Christmas day with your kids?

I would be furious with my OH if he did this.

Thanks pinkshoes.

At this rate I will flipping go away with the kids for Christmas to stay somewhere else!

Littlebettyboop

Person_one wrote: »

You must be so annoyed and frustrated by this, he's acting like a petulant child! Is he like this in other aspects of his life or is normally rational but has a massive cob on over this one thing? Any chance he'll calm down and see sense before Christmas? After all it's only early September!

Does he think it's right that by refusing to work Christmas ever, he's essentially saying that he is more special and important and more deserving if that time off than his colleagues? Has he considered if that way at all?

Sums up pretty much what I think. Why does he think that only he should have Christmas off.

As i said, he has worked a LOT during the year and covered loads, while people have had 3-4 weeks off, and as I said earlier, there is an unfairness with him being expected to work Christmas and New year when the manager and her mates get it all off... but I think he must accept that he may have to work an occasional Christmas.

I can't even put into words how I will react if he is sacked because of all this.

Oh by the way, he is not like this in other parts of his life.... Just work. He is a good husband and a good father and is a good man, but this side of him infuriates me!

fairy_lights wrote: »

Maybe you need to remind him that if he doesn't work over Christmas, someone else will have to do it instead and that person may have small children, may also have lost relatives around Christmas, may rarely get to see their own family etc.
Reading what you say about him not liking his job but not being motivated to find something else makes me wonder if on some level he's trying to get fired because he wants out but doesn't feel brave enough to quit?

Hmmmm, makes me wonder, and I can honestly say that I have had this running through my mind from time to time. Sometimes he has all sorts of aches and pains, and although he visits the doctors, and has test after test, they NEVER find anything wrong. I swear he would love it if he had to go on full time sick and never have to work again.

Kaye1

My OH works every Christmas, NYE, Valentine's etc etc and no option to book them off. He has to work them.


So we just move the day. Valentine's is the 15th/16th Feb.
NYE we aren't fussed about.


Christmas we do it- just start it at 4pm on the day when he gets home.


It is just a day- why would he risk his family financial security for one day?

Littlebettyboop

Kaye1 wrote: »

My OH works every Christmas, NYE, Valentine's etc etc and no option to book them off. He has to work them.


So we just move the day. Valentine's is the 15th/16th Feb.
NYE we aren't fussed about.


Christmas we do it- just start it at 4pm on the day when he gets home.

It is just a day- why would he risk his family financial security for one day?

I know Kaye. I have virtually said this to him. And like I said, it's not like we even have little children anymore. They are at unI! They will spend half the time away at friends and partners' families houses!

He is being very unreasonable about all this.

Littlebettyboop

Thanks everyone for your posts, and I am pleased that people generally seem to think it's a crazy idea for him to ring in sick.

But can anyone advise me on how I can deal with this situation? It's really stressing me out. I don't want him losing £600 wages, and risking the sack. He says 'they won't sack me, and even if they do I can get another job, there are loads of jobs out there!'

But for a start, he won't just walk into another job if he has been SACKED, and also, if there are loads of other jobs out there, why not get another one now, that doesn't involve working Christmas?!

Have to pop off for now. Will be back later. Thank you.

pickledonionspaceraider

It does sound like your OH has a fairly cushy job on a great rota system. 4 on 4 off is a fabulous lifestyle as opposed to 5 on and the usual 2 day weekend. He does have it better than many and he needs to remind himself of it - and the fact that although it is a traditional holiday, many are working through it

Maybe he is just 'spitting his dummy' and will have got over it by christmas. If he rings in sick they will KNOW he is skiving, whether it can be proved or not. It will hamper his changes of progression in the job as proves he is not a team player, and also his work mate relationships will suffer as they will have to pick up the slack, on days when they too, would rather be at home

LilElvis

I would point out to him that even if he gets away with pulling a sickie this Christmas he will have seriously annoyed his managers and the poor co-workers who will have to cover for him at short notice. He will be kissing goodbye to any holiday requests being looked at favourably in the future, probably going to the bottom of the heap and having to accept the dates he is given rather than the ones he wants. He might win his little battle, but he will certainly lose the war.