In a quandary with husband's work issue. Warning long post.

dirty_magic

persa wrote: »

Most places allow you to self-certify for up to 5 days, with a doctor's note required afterwards. However, if an employer thinks you're taking the mickey, they can request a doctor's note on day one.

Given your OH has made clear he doesn't want to work, when he calls in sick, it will be obvious what he's doing. His employer will request a note, he won't be able to get one, and he will be sacked. Finding a job after you've been sacked is not easy.

Most doctors won't give a note for less than a week without charging, but I actually think it's quite easy to get a doctor's note tbh. I'm not saying it's right, but if he said he had back pain they'd probably just give one because it's not easy to prove.

I don't think it's the right thing to do though, and tbh I think he's just throwing his toys out of the pram and will have come round by Christmas.

He should be grateful really that he has had so many years off. My OH does the same shift pattern and unfortunately you just have to accept that you'll have to work or find a 9-5 job. Personally I'd sacrifice Christmas for 4 days off a week, I wish I had as much free time as my OH!

persa

dirty_magic wrote: »

Most doctors won't give a note for less than a week without charging, but I actually think it's quite easy to get a doctor's note tbh. I'm not saying it's right, but if he said he had back pain they'd probably just give one because it's not easy to prove.

It must depend on your doctor/where in the country you are.

I once had a mini-breakdown when I saw my doctor (I was so stressed at work I had been physically passing out) and he didn't even suggest a sick note, not that I would have accepted one.

happyandcontented

I think that if someone went to the doctor saying they had been off a week with back pain, knee pain, shoulder pain, and it hadn't improved, it is very likely a sick note would be offered.

I am not saying it is right but I doubt any employer could get behind that unless he was seen partying hard in the local nightclub!! I am sure they will see through it though and any goodwill will evaporate. I don't think there is much they could do legally though.

It really isn't a good idea though, but I doubt he would lose his job.

LilElvis

dirty_magic wrote: »

Most doctors won't give a note for less than a week without charging, but I actually think it's quite easy to get a doctor's note tbh. I'm not saying it's right, but if he said he had back pain they'd probably just give one because it's not easy to prove.

Getting a sick note might be easy, but getting an appointment with the doctor over the festive period in order for him to issue one will certainly be more than a little difficult.

Savvy_Sue

Bear in mind that if you want to volunteer at a homeless shelter or similar on Christmas Day the time to apply is now.

but if your sons are up for that I'd thoroughly recommend it.

Vikipollard

fairy_lights wrote: »

If he's rostered to work 23rd, 24th, 25th and 26th december, and your kids are home for several weeks, couldn't you 'move' christmas to the 27th and have Christmas dinner, present opening etc when he finally gets a day off?
To be honest your husband's attitude to the whole thing sounds very entitled and I'd be pretty fed up with it if I were you. It sounds like he's been very lucky so far to always get Christmas off but in a workplace that is open 365 days a year he can't expect to never have to work it. Calling his manager a b*tch and a silly cow because he happens to be rota-d to work days he wants off is a terrible attitude to have and if he does throw a massive sickie over Christmas and new year I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have a job to go back to next year.

^^^ This.

I have worked for a food distribution company, and the only time any of us were guaranteed off was the 12 hour day shift (0700-1900) on Christmas Day. If you were on nights on Christmas Eve or Christmas Night, you worked as normal. You got no sick pay or Bank Holiday pay without a doctor's note. A self-cert was not accepted and explicitly in all contracts for any Bank Holiday.

On top of that, no leave was allowed from 1st December to 15th January to stop people doing what your husband has done previously. He may well have worked all summer, but that was his choice to do so, not theirs. He needs to get over his sense of entitlement. Their job, their rules. The choice on whether he seeks another job may be made for him if he pursues this course of action - and it's much harder to get another one with attendance issues on a reference.

I second the 'move the date' suggestion. If he's off 27-30th, then 27th is Christmas Eve. He needs to have a word with himself and stop behaving like a spoilt brat.

Vikipollard

Littlebettyboop wrote: »

Sums up pretty much what I think. Why does he think that only he should have Christmas off.

As i said, he has worked a LOT during the year and covered loads, while people have had 3-4 weeks off, and as I said earlier, there is an unfairness with him being expected to work Christmas and New year when the manager and her mates get it all off... but I think he must accept that he may have to work an occasional Christmas.

I can't even put into words how I will react if he is sacked because of all this.

.

Presumably he got paid extra for providing cover?

He wouldn't see it as unfair if it was him who was rota'd off for Christmas and New Year though, would he? So why is it unfair that some of his colleagues (forget the managers) are?

I'd suggest you show this thread to him. I may have skipped a couple of posts, but I haven't seen a huge outpouring of support for his view. We can't all be wrong...

Littlebettyboop

Vikipollard wrote: »

^^^ This.

I have worked for a food distribution company, and the only time any of us were guaranteed off was the 12 hour day shift (0700-1900) on Christmas Day. If you were on nights on Christmas Eve or Christmas Night, you worked as normal. You got no sick pay or Bank Holiday pay without a doctor's note. A self-cert was not accepted and explicitly in all contracts for any Bank Holiday.

On top of that, no leave was allowed from 1st December to 15th January to stop people doing what your husband has done previously. He may well have worked all summer, but that was his choice to do so, not theirs. He needs to get over his sense of entitlement. Their job, their rules. The choice on whether he seeks another job may be made for him if he pursues this course of action - and it's much harder to get another one with attendance issues on a reference.

I second the 'move the date' suggestion. If he's off 27-30th, then 27th is Christmas Eve. He needs to have a word with himself and stop behaving like a spoilt brat.

I could not agree more with the above.

And I have to say that I have just had a word with him before he went to work, and I literally want to throttle him right now.

I said 'don't forget you need to have a word with your Manager tomorrow morning, because you need to see if you can meet her halfway over this Christmas holiday issue.'

He said 'I have decided, I am ringing in sick!'

I said 'you really cannot be serious; you can't do that.' He said 'why? They can't PROVE I am not ill.' I said 'I am sorry but I can't support you ringing in sick for 2 weeks. That is ridiculous really; you will get into trouble; they aren't stupid and they WILL do you for it; if you're lucky you will just get a written warning! And don't get me started on the money you will lose!'

So then he says 'all right I will say to her 'I am in France all holiday, I have already booked it (his brother lives there,) and I cannot get the money back - I will NOT be in. It's already booked.'

I said they are not stupid, they will check if you're going/if you went. He said 'they will have to prove I didn't go.' I said 'they will get solicitors and investigators onto it; they WILL prove you didn't go!' (I swear he is acting so dumb!)

So then he says 'Whatever I decide, it will be what's best for ME, not for them,. not for the manager and not for YOU. I will do what's best for ME.'

Nice.

So I said 'well remember when you are doing what's best for you, (and to hell with everyone else!) that there will most likely be consequences with what you do for YOU, and you best be prepared to deal with them because they ain't gonna be pretty!'

He said 'I am not discussing this anymore: I am off to work!'

As he went off I said (truthfully) 'I do want you home for Christmas and New Year, but to ring in sick for 2 weeks or say to the boss 'to hell with you,' is madness and really irresponsible. He is behaving like a petulant 16 year old kid who lives with his parents; not a 48 year old man with a family!

All he said was 'I have done them enough favours and they owe me, anyway, my MOM died on Christmas;' And I said 'yes, nearly 20 years ago; no tribunal is going to buy that; they will say 'it was 1996, get over it!' You don't have a leg to stand on! And what's more, you have had the last 11 Christmasses off; when everyone else has worked it, so you have got off lightly all these years.'

So he said 'Oh so I shall just work all Christmas then? And New Year? No Christmas for me. To hell with me! You and the kids have a great time without me!' (Petulant, passive-aggressive, 'cry me a river' mode engaged.')

Then he walked out.

I want to actually cry right now.

My son and daughter know nothing about this.

gettingtheresometime

I have to say I really don't know what to say - if this was a 20 yr old then I might understand it but a 48 yr old??

The problem with him in this mood is that he's likely to shout his mouth off - and let it slip that he plans to go off on the sick, at which point they know that he's pulling a fast one....and which point I've no doubt that the disciplinary process would kick in.

Personally I would cut back spending now to give him a taste of what the future could hold

Littlebettyboop

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I have to say I really don't know what to say - if this was a 20 yr old then I might understand it but a 48 yr old??

The problem with him in this mood is that he's likely to shout his mouth off - and let it slip that he plans to go off on the sick, at which point they know that he's pulling a fast one....and which point I've no doubt that the disciplinary process would kick in.

Personally I would cut back spending now to give him a taste of what the future could hold

Thank you. I am really upset at the moment, and don't know what to do or think.