In a quandary with husband's work issue. Warning long post.

Littlebettyboop

HappyMJ wrote: »

As the OP states there's no work available paying £8.50/hour plus generous shift allowances.

OP, if he found work at £7.50-£8.00 an hour working day shifts only with no shift allowances could your expenses be reduced to handle the lower income? Maybe mention to him (if it's possible of course) that he isn't required to bring in as much now the children have left home.

I was always stressed in work and giving up my job 15 years ago was the best decision I ever made. I'll never take another job in my life...and I'm only 40. I still work but 100% on my own terms and not that of a manager. The people that pay me now are my clients/customers.

Thank you MJ.

Believe it or not, I have suggested this. A day shift with a lower pay would be OK, as we can cut back on stuff, and don't have the kids to support (although we do find ourselves having to give them money sometime when their student finance runs out!) But he just lets this advice go in one ear and out of the other.

He is so stubborn. It's like he doesn't like the job much or the situation (with Christmas) but does sweet FA about it!

Littlebettyboop

HappyMJ wrote: »

If they catch him out quick enough they can ask him to visit a doctor at their expense and if the doctor says he's fit to work and he still doesn't go into work then he can be sacked for gross misconduct.

Ooooh, is that right?

Littlebettyboop

What if he said ' I am definitely not going to come in, I am having the time off...' Not feigning sick but just saying 'I am not coming in!' And then he doesn't go in. He just takes unpaid leave...

I am not endorsing this in any way BTW, and i don't want him to do this, at all....I am just curious. Would he still, get into trouble for that, and risk getting the sack? (Sorry to sound stupid. I just genuinely don't know: I have never come across this before.....)

Indie_Kid

Littlebettyboop wrote: »

What if he said ' I am definitely not going to come in, I am having the time off...' Not feigning sick but just saying 'I am not coming in!' And then he doesn't go in. He just takes unpaid leave...

I am not endorsing this in any way BTW, and i don't want him to do this, at all....I am just curious. Would he still, get into trouble for that, and risk getting the sack? (Sorry to sound stupid. I just genuinely don't know: I have never come across this before.....)

They'd have grounds to sack him.

Littlebettyboop

Indie_Kid wrote: »

They'd have grounds to sack him.

Would they?

What reason? Sorry to sound daft and stupid and ignorant. I just wondered what the reason for dismissal would be. If he just took the time off anyway. (Not feigning sick...)

Loz01

This reminds me of my old place of work..! (a shop) - every year the same supervisors/shift leaders would not even be on the rota over xmas and new year or one woman had a "chest infection" 3 years in a row, conveniently over Christmas (probably because she smoked 45 a day) - and everyone else was left to work xmas eve, boxing day, new years eve, new years day etc, it was a joke and part of the reason I actually left. If you weren't in the little clique with the supervisors, you had no chance of getting days off. People I worked with would go clubbing and not turn up to work and not even get told off for it.


I guess your OH could go in and explain what hes done over the past x amount of years for the company and suggest a middle ground solution?

tiger_eyes

I suspect your understandable resistance to this kamikaze course of action may perhaps be increasing his stubbornness.

I find it's helpful at times like this to focus on what you can personally do about this, ie. what's within your direct control. You can't control whether he gets rostered to work at Christmas and New Year. You can't control whether he goes to work. You can't control whether he calls in sick. You can't control whether he loses his job. You can't control whether he applies for other jobs. All of that is entirely within his control. All you personally can do is prepare, financially and practically, for the very likely outcome that he loses his job.

He may not realise and accept that he's about to crash straight into a wall until he sees you adopting the brace position.

HappyMJ

Littlebettyboop wrote: »

Would they?

What reason? Sorry to sound daft and stupid and ignorant. I just wondered what the reason for dismissal would be. If he just took the time off anyway. (Not feigning sick...)

Gross misconduct is the reason.

Read this link.. https://www.gov.uk/dismiss-staff/dismissals-on-capability-or-conduct-grounds

Basically

You can dismiss an employee if:

they’re incapable of doing their job to the required standard
they’re capable, but unwilling to do their job properly
they’ve committed some form of misconduct

pinkshoes

Littlebettyboop wrote: »

What if he said ' I am definitely not going to come in, I am having the time off...' Not feigning sick but just saying 'I am not coming in!' And then he doesn't go in. He just takes unpaid leave...

I am not endorsing this in any way BTW, and i don't want him to do this, at all....I am just curious. Would he still, get into trouble for that, and risk getting the sack? (Sorry to sound stupid. I just genuinely don't know: I have never come across this before.....)

Well just tell him you are defintiely not doing Christmas on the 25th, and instead it will be on the 28th, so if he takes the day off you will be very disappointed in him and a waste of an unpaid day.

Can you volunteer to work in a soup kitchen on Christmas day with your kids?

I would be furious with my OH if he did this.

Littlebettyboop

tiger_eyes wrote: »

I suspect your understandable resistance to this kamikaze course of action may perhaps be increasing his stubbornness.

I find it's helpful at times like this to focus on what you can personally do about this, ie. what's within your direct control. You can't control whether he gets rostered to work at Christmas and New Year. You can't control whether he goes to work. You can't control whether he calls in sick. You can't control whether he loses his job. You can't control whether he applies for other jobs. All of that is entirely within his control. All you personally can do is prepare, financially and practically, for the very likely outcome that he loses his job.

He may not realise and accept that he's about to crash straight into a wall until he sees you adopting the brace position.

:rotfl: That sounds funny.

Shame none of all this is funny.

I know you're right, there is not a lot I can do, but the fact is that he will bring me and the whole family down with him, if he persists in this ridiculous game. As you said, the more I resist, the more he just locks horns with me, but I can't just do nothing.