Life is what happens when you're busy making plans

twiggy86

So pleased you're feeling positive!

crazy_cat_lady

Sounds like there's a lot to be happy about - so pleased for you...
I applied for a job in June and it took them ages to get back to me. I didn't get it, but they have asked me to apply again if something else comes up - so I wondered if it had been the case that they had offered it to someone else with me as a second choice.
Happy days.

determined_new_ms

Hi twiggy & ccl - thanks so much for the support and encouragement!

Yes feeling so much brighter. Funny isn't it? Often just accepting a situation makes it so much better to deal with when in reality the situation is still the same. After the interview on Wednesday deciding I wasn't going to let my last job experience be the one that defines me has made all the difference to my mood.

I am sure the changes in mood will still continue as I think this is a stage of grieving . But I know it will pass so it is a matter of going through the process....

Last night we were invited to oh's parent's house for dinner. His aunt & uncle from Holland were visiting along with his cousin & his wife from Brasil. Was a nice evening, lots of laughter :T

Family day today. Was supposed to be going to Milton Keynes for a kinship care meet up, but after getting up at the crack of dawn decided I didn't think it was in dgd's best interest that we spend £25 on petrol and 4 1/2 hours driving. Maybe in a couple of years it will be, she'll be older and I think it is good for her to be around other children who are in the same family situation. But right now I don't think it is the best use of our time.

A few MSE things to do over next few days, but will try to just enjoy the weekend with dgd & oh. Ebay have offered me another 100 fee free listings. Won't be able to do loads but hope to get at least 10 things on there.

Ok just starting my 3rd cup of coffee then I'll be ready to take the day by the horns

jodles16

Your diary is inspirational, what a wonderful woman you are! Your dgd couldnt have anyone better supporting her and I am pleased your dd is starting to have longer good times before a relapse, that has to be a positive! Enjoy Ibiza and Holland will be amazing for the both of you! I will keep popping in to see how your getting on, also a good way to think about the job, it is not something you can control so what will be will be!

Jodles

determined_new_ms

awwwww thanks jodles16! So nice to have other people popping in and it not just being my ramblings

I don't know about inspirational :rotfl: I do wonder if I'm doing a terrible thing in terms of my longer term prospects just being at the moment. But I have spent so many years having to be controlled about our life situation and manage it that I've often wanted to be freer than I have been able to be. Now I'm giving that a go. Letting go of the guilt and worry has been hard this last couple of months and I haven't been able to enjoy the time off of work. But over the last week or so something has switched. A decision made. I honestly think when you decide to accept a situation you become back in control and things don't seem so frightening. It feels good to choose to have less money and more time to be, rest after such a long period of turbulence.

The best news has happened, although trying not to get my hopes up too much at the moment. My dd left the terrible relationship she has been in for the last 1 1/2 years and she's moved out of area into supported housing. There was an incident last weekend where he assaulted her and the Police were called. Their relationship was so toxic, but her illness (and the fear of being alone which is a symptom of her disorder) has meant time and again she has put him before her dd as she has been too afraid to be alone. It's frightening for her to move away and be on her own so am really proud of her for taking this step. This *hopefully* will be the start of her getting the support she needs and getting well :j

crazy_cat_lady

Morning DNMS
I definitely think that binning off the long weekend drive is a good thing. Your dgd is a bit too young yet to appreciate a 2+ hour drive for a day out imho.
Good news that your dd has taken such a big step too. Fingers crossed that this is a bit of a turning point for her.

PurpleFairy26

Hey DNMS, just caught up on few days. So thrilled your wellbeing and mind seem to be getting to a place your a comfortable with

I really do hope things work for your DD, that will really help your peace of mind too. Also glad the probate is moving. As someone else said time with your DGD is precious so if it buys you more time off work then I think the universe is working for you :A

Have you read 'the secret' - I really thought it wasn't my kind of book but I've listened to it several times this last year (on audio) and I find it's really good for the mind (you can get it on a free months trial from audible if you don't already have an account - you get to keep the book to listen after you cancel :T)

Thinking of you

determined_new_ms

Strewth it's cold here today! Wet windy & miserable outside, so that calls for a stay at home day, which therefore will be a NSD and also means I can indulge in my penchant of wearing pjs and my new dressing gown

Today I have the day to myself and is going to be the first day I have been alone and embraced it. Having made the decision I'm going to actually have a break from work, now is the time to enjoy this :T

Yesterday was a home day with dgd, and as it rained on and off all day is was a day at home. She's so much fun, and very self sufficient a lot of the time, but there is an energy to learn, do new things and be creative, which I've realised is going to take some effort on my part to stimulate.

With this in mind I have spent the last 1/2 hour looking for resources and activities for us to do tomorrow. I think over the next couple of weeks I will do some autumn themed activities. Have found some good printables (colouring pages and activities in autumn theme) and have emailed links to oh to print off. Gosh anyone would think he has nothing better to do than print off things for me :rotfl:

I finally got round to starting the wine must yesterday. Not much happening with it, so this might be a dud.... Well need to remind myself, as I do with dgd daily with potty training, that no one is perfect at anything straight away! Will keep an eye on it and hope it starts to ferment in the next day or two... Good news is I have a load of rhubarb that is growing in the garden that I can use for my next attempt :T

I read an interesting article on a blog I've just discovered this morning about increasing your happiness and benefits this can bring in terms of IQ, productivity & success of changing your outlook and how it can be done. There's a fantastic short Ted lecture that is well worth 12 minutes of anyone's life (it's here if anyone fancies a gander: http://andhereweare.net/2014/10/5-ways-to-rewire-your-brain-for-happiness.html/)

In short 5 things to do for 21 days that will increase people's happiness, change their outlook and change their life situation by adjusting perspective:

1. Express gratitude- write down 3 new things you are grateful for over the last 24 hours
2. Journaling - write down about 1 positive thing that has happened to you in the last 24 hours. Really go into detail and relive it
3. Exercise
4. meditation
5. daily random acts of kindness

Ok so none of these things are particularly onerous or will take much time out of the day. I'm going to give this a try! The lectures suggests that by changing our outlooks by applying these 5 things we will change the way we see our lives and the outcomes even if your life situation doesn't change.

Things with my dd haven't been great over the last few days. Moving to the refuge and leaving her bf has see a turn in her mh. Her mood is low, it is triggering her abandonment feelings and making her very upset, distressed and needy. She is calling, fb messaging, whatsapping and texting me numerous times a day and I am once again caught between the conflict of wanting to help her and be a rock for her and feeling overwhelmed and engulfed by her need. It's hard to find the right balance to support her. But I know from years of experience if I don't look to find balance in myself first it isn't a healthy place for either of us to be.

Ok going to have a coffee now and ponder the 3 things I am grateful for over the past 24 hours x

determined_new_ms

1. I have a lovely relationship with a wonderful man, who loves and supports me through thick and thin & he is damn hot as well!

2. I have the space and energy to have just gone for a 2 1/2 hour walk in the countryside. 15 mins from my front door to countryside and no one except the occasional dog walkers to interrupt my enjoyment of the beautiful countryside and the sun on my face.

3. Discovered a load of elderberries so foraged them :T not enough for some wine I'm afraid so will have to consider what to do with them...

4. Spoke to my dd and know she is safe and mood sounds ok

More than I thought!

crazy_cat_lady

That's a fantastic outlook to have DNMS. I like TEDtalk a lot - very helpful for me with teaching, and I need to sometimes sit and focus on the positives in my life because I can get into a bit of a rut (like today for example) - I may well steal this one from you.

If I remember rightly as well, it was this time of year that I always used to love doing leaf painting and printing - picking up the biggest leaves to paint them. And potato printing as well. I almost feel 6 years old again. Your dgd is lucky to have you. Sorry that dd is struggling at the minute as well - she has to find ways to help herself without always relying on you though. My DH is on the slide at the moment, and it breaks my heart, but there's only so much that I can do for him unless he decides to get some help for himself.