Life is what happens when you're busy making plans

Bobarella

Glad you can find positives even when things seem bleak Determined. Very admirable indeed.

determined_new_ms

Morning world well today is another day. Weather miserable today so thoughts of a woodland walk are on hold I think for today. I really want to try and get some more elderberries before it's too late!

Seeing as the seasons are changing rapidly thought now would be a good time to help dgd understand autumn and all things autumnal. Have now got leaves and apples colouring sheet, a laminated Apple to do lacing with a piece of wool. Need to show oh the activity pack as he didn't print this.

One of my friends is a alternative therapist and she is doing a women's workshop in the next couple of months. She was explaining to me that the way our society is organised now is not in the natural rythem of how are lives and bodies have evolved to work. She explained that this time was a busy time to harvest all of the crops and supplies, and as the winter drew in we would enter into a more relaxed and recuperative period over the winter. It makes a lot of sense really if you think about it.

Ok going to have to go as did wants entertaining....

Bobarella

I can well believe it about the modern world and how we do everything we can to fight against our natural programming.
I often think as I gaze once more at my smart phone in bed at night, this isnt how nature intended it.
Mind you that said, there are so many things that are good about the modern world, medicine, contraception, longer life expectancy, I cant feel too concerned

Bob

determined_new_ms

Couldn't agree more Bob! Definitely best time to have been alive - sometimes I watch or read things about the Middle Ages and I thank my blessings I was born now!

Ok 3 things to do grateful for:

1. Oh's parents gave us 2 bags of food as they are going away for 6 weeks

2. oh realised he had taken the car seat so brought it back in his lunch break. Poor thing we didn't go out in the end!

3. Weather was wet and grim so we had a play at home day (proof is dad's bedroom that is a bomb site!) which means today was another nsd making that 3 in a row

determined_new_ms

Gosh today has been a hashing up of emotions. I went with my db to London to collect my mother's photos. The journey there back was HORRENDOUS! What on earth is the point in driving in London? Absolute madness! it took us 3 1/2 hours to do a journey that would be about an hour.

On the way back I looked through the photos. There's not much, most of them are of people I do not know and of my mother not looking like the mother I remember. But then there are lots of my grandmother's family, my mother's family when they were all kids and then some of my mum in her 20s and some of my brother, cousins, aunts, uncles, my nan and granddad when they were young.

My mother was beautiful, truly beautiful - and believe me I'm not biased! - and she looked happy and having fun. I wish I had the chance to talk to her, put everything right, look through those photos with her and tell her how beautiful she was. Shucks such sadness tonight.

Anyway 3 things to do grateful for:

1. MY relationship with my brother. It's really good, it wasn't always (wasn't gonna be coming from a dysfunctional family right?) and my mother caused a wedge between us in 2008 which wasn't repaired until 2012. But it really is good now, much better than before and we love each other, truly know we are family and would do anything for the other. It's a special thing to me.

2. I ate my packed lunch I took rather than grabbing something. I also took my travel mug I got at the bootfair for 50p last week and had a fresh coffee on the journey.

3. 2 things sold on ebay today

Ok that's my lot!

determined_new_ms

Opps forgot to post my 3 things I'm grateful for here yesterday....

1. I got to have a certain fast food breakfast for free doing a ms assignment. Not usually a fan of fast food but love these breakfasts

2. My dd called me yesterday evening and we had a long chat just about everything and nothing. Been a while since we've done that. She sounded well and is starting to adjust to being somewhere new and making friend's with some of the other women there. This is the biggest relief! I have been so worried about her this last week, and was worried because her mood was so low she would give up the place and go back to the bf.

My dd has a mood disorder, which means when things go well she is quite high and then they can go terribly wrong her mood plummets, another symptom of the illness means she is impulsive and doesn't think through consequences so situations regularly turn out difficult which causes the extremes in mood changes. Loving someone with this disorder means you often mirror those changing moods also. I've had to do a lot of work on dealing with codependency issues with my dd. I decided, when I realised that I couldn't sustain the choas that my life became, I couldn't "save her" no matter what I did so I had to save myself from the chaos my life had become (my life revolved around her, I was dealing with every chaotic situation she got herself in and it was on a daily basis. I lived in perpetual fear of what was going to be next, anxiety when my phone went off). It's been hard to separate my life from hers and say "you have to take responsibility for your own life" and watch on the sidelines but it was what I had to do, to stop giving up on my life and hope at some point she'll start to recover and stabilise. I live in eternal optimistic hope that she will engage in therapy and start her recovery....

3. I had a lovely day with dgd. In the morning we went to the play gym for 1 1/2 hrs and met a friend and her dd. Dgd really loved it and was pleased to see the other little girl. Came home and pottered around at home, played in the garden and watered the plants and did some art. Then in the afternoon we went into town and picked up a nice little gift for a birthday party dgd has on Sunday for £3 :T

It really helped with structuring the day in blocks of morning and afternoon "things to do" so think I will definitely try to do 2 things a day - weather and finances permitting! - from now on as there wasn't any points in the day when dgd was bored and then a little mischievous! I definitely had less "no's" throughout the day :T and in turn you end up not having to say no to toddlers so often - it's so easy to do isn't it?

So all in it was quite a lovely day yesterday :T

Today oh is out for the day so it will be dgd and me again. Think I will call in to see some family in the morning and then this afternoon we are meeting up with my bff and my godson for a play date. He and dgd love each other and really enjoy getting together so that will be lovely.

No real dfw things for the day except no spends expected :T

determined_new_ms

what a glorious day! Weather has been stunning here and the day has been filled with nice things to be grateful for!

1. While I was hanging out the washing I over heard oh with dgd. He was feeding her some weetabix (generic of course!) and she does this thing where she shakes her head no when you're trying to feed her. So he turned it into a game, throughout the whole bowl and she ate it all up. He has boundless patience with her. It was a precious thing to overhear.

2. The weather has been glorious, a last day of summer and we spent it outside enjoying it.

3. Spent a lovely afternoon with bff & gs. Dgd loved being with him. They just spent the afternoon giggling and playing together. We went for a walk down to the park then went to the beach for an hour and bff treated me to a shandy on the beach. Afterwards we went and got fish and chips and sat by the beach eating them. Loads to catch up on and planning for our holiday in 9 days

4. While at the park I got chatting to another parent with a child a little older than dgd, she's nearly 4 but she and dgd hit it off. The mother referred to me as mummy to dgd so I said I'm her grandmother but we have custody of her. Which then turned into her telling me she is also a kinship carer and she adopted her daughter who was her niece's baby. It's great to meet another kinship carer, there's a shared understanding of what you go through when you get thrust into this unconventional life, how others can react, feelings you have - there's so much that you can explain to others but unless you've been through it I don't think people can really understand the depth and breadth of it all. We swapped contact details and are meeting up at the play gym next Friday

Felt like a glorious day, full of everything I need to nurture my soul :T

Fish & chips stopped it being a NSD but at £6.70 for a brilliant day, seems reasonable :beer:

crazy_cat_lady

Ah DNMS - it sounds like you've had a really fantastic day.

belleandthebudget

Sounds like a fantastic day! And how nice to meet another kinship carer by chance!

determined_new_ms

opps fell asleep on the sofa ridiculously early last night! Which meant I didn't do the ms report! Annoying! I've sent an email asking them to accept it late...

We will see...

Anyway positives for yesterday

1. Dgd had a birthday party to go to at a soft play centre. Was lovely seeing her with all her friends and looking so happy enjoying herself! Well worth the effort of driving to another town

2. The weather was glorious again so we sat out in the garden all afternoon when we got back

3. I did 25 minutes with the hula hoop my bff lent (gave?) me. Her husband's a plumber and he had some piping so I asked if I could have just over a meter to make a hula hoop. I tried to get some a couple of weeks ago but you have to get it in 25 meter reels so didn't bother. He said yes but then later on came up with the great idea of bff giving me her's as she doesn't use it :rotfl: wasn't entirely sure this was such a great idea for bff but she's so sweet and gracious she gave it to me and said it's too heavy for her. I've sent her a text saying I'll buy the other bits needed to make one and come round and make the perfect size and weight hoop for her.

Anyway I did it for 25 minutes (on and off throughout the afternoon). Looking up some workouts online and it says 10 minutes in the morning and evening over 4/5 weeks you'll notice a real difference. Let's hope!