Life is what happens when you're busy making plans

Bobarella

Determined - what a strange situation with your mother's 'friend' surely he must have known your mother had children?

I think you are doing so well on your earnings. I'm sure you don't need another mse addiction but the elite shopping thread is another good place to hang out and hear about glitches/ways to save on shopping. For example Andrex had one recently that meant packs of 8 loo roll for just 25p at Arsda...anyway just a thought.

Have a good day, the park and play sounds lovely.

Bob

crazy_cat_lady

Pleased you are feeling a bit better today DNMS.

determined_new_ms

Bobarella wrote: »

Determined - what a strange situation with your mother's 'friend' surely he must have known your mother had children?

I think you are doing so well on your earnings. I'm sure you don't need another mse addiction but the elite shopping thread is another good place to hang out and hear about glitches/ways to save on shopping. For example Andrex had one recently that meant packs of 8 loo roll for just 25p at Arsda...anyway just a thought.

Have a good day, the park and play sounds lovely.

Bob

It really is Bob! But I try remain optimistic about his intentions! We were estranged from my mother due to childhood issues, but my dd was close to her and lived with her part time. All of my daughter's possessions were in the flat! However while it looks like we won't be able to regain any of my mother's possessions we can get back her photos that the Police are holding for us. At the moment my brother has taken the bank to the ombudsman to complain about their procedure as being my mother's friend registered her death he is now the nok. This is I guess just a formality/process we need to go through. She died intestate which means me & my db are the rightful nok. Once this has been settled we can go through probate.

I will check out that thread Bob cheers!

determined_new_ms

Jeez this week is whizzing by! Before we know it it'll be the weekend :j

Yesterday was a lovely day with dd. She's really becoming more stable again and lovely to be around. We met up after lunch in the next town along, so midway point for both of us, and went swimming. It's testament to how much her relationship has developed with dgd as dgd was happy to stay with her while I was in the next pool, and I had the chance to swim lengths for 30 mins :T Made me realise it has been years since I swam and I was an avid swimmer for years. We're planning on doing this alternate weeks while I'm out of work so should get a chance to do this regularly again

After swimming we walked around the little town and then stopped for coffee, chips and a scone. Dgd only ate 1/2 the scone so I have the other half with lunch today

So lovely to see dgd loving her dm, and was tinged with sadness as dgd was very sad to say goodbye and kept saying to dd "you want to come?" when we said we were going home Hopefully if things continue then I can see a time when dgd will be able to have overnight stays with dd. Although stability is a problem for dd - from beginning od May to end June she stopped coming as had a relapse, but before that had been consistent for 4 months.

It was also nice for me to be around dd, and can feel myself letting go of the anger I have felt with her. I love her so much, but she can take so much out of me and then went she lets dgd I feel so resentful towards her. I need to be careful not to jump in quickly as often this is the time when she starts taking the micky....

While we were in town I popped into tescos and got shopping worth £9.50 for 64p using MOCs & ys items :T

Today I have 5 ebay items to post, picture and do write ups for 5 items to list this evening, 2 ms assignments to do and then going out with a friend this evening for a couple of cocktails

I also want to plan activities for tomorrow with dgd. I think we are going to make hula hoops as she discovered a love for them at the weekend & I am wanting to get fit again. Will need to pop to hardware store to get the items.

Ok just having a coffee & poodling about on here before I get cracking!

Bobarella

It sounds so lovely and positive Determined. Dare I make the comment, that I think people who've had it hard with their own parents will often do anything for their kids. Despite it not necessarily being a two way street?
My own situation is not ideal with parents. But despite that I'd give my last bean to help or protect my son. I think somehow you can care more when you haent had it on a plate.

Anyway! Life is not easy I'd it. And we are all just doing our best.

I'm so glad you are making the most of your time out of the office as well.

Bob

twiggy86

DNM! I found you!

Please you had a good day with your dd yesterday.

Shuffles off to subscribe!

determined_new_ms

Bobarella wrote: »

It sounds so lovely and positive Determined. Dare I make the comment, that I think people who've had it hard with their own parents will often do anything for their kids. Despite it not necessarily being a two way street?
My own situation is not ideal with parents. But despite that I'd give my last bean to help or protect my son. I think somehow you can care more when you haent had it on a plate.

Anyway! Life is not easy I'd it. And we are all just doing our best.

I'm so glad you are making the most of your time out of the office as well.

Bob

You're probably right Bob. I think I felt very rejected by my mother and as a consequence found it hard to put boundaries in place with my dd - easier with my son actually. As a result she then has taken the right micky as she could! Have really work hard over the last couple of years, and particularly since having dgd, to say enough is enough. If you get yourself in these scrapes you need to deal with the consequences. It's been hard watching her struggling but I remain hopeful she will grow up and be more stable. She is really trying at the moment, but like I say consistency is often a problem.

determined_new_ms

twiggy86 wrote: »

DNM! I found you!

Please you had a good day with your dd yesterday.

Shuffles off to subscribe!

Hi twiggy! thanks for popping in! So much nice than rambling away to myself

determined_new_ms

So today has been a funny start to the day as my mood dipped again last night. I had a problem with the ms assignment I did yesterday and thought I wasn't going to be paid

Then I received a call from HR for the position I applied for (which is obviously great :j) but as part of the interview I have to do a presentation. I don't enjoy presentations at the best of times, but on top of this I have dgd everyday before the interview so will need to prepare in the evenings (I work better in the mornings/early on) and since losing my job I've really lost my confidence in my professional abilities and the last 2 interviews I haven't felt as confident as I usually do

So that was the mood I woke up to and has been bothering me this morning...

But having got up at 6 I had done all the housework before oh left for work, meaning he could occupy dgd while I did this. Then this morning we have:

* played an online numbers game
* done painting
* did some chalking in the garden (I swept the leaves at the same time )
* played skittles

and now I'm having a 10 minute break while dgd watched Lola & Charlie.

Mood has lifted a lot! MS company have sorted out my problem with the report so I can submit it tonight :T and looking through the interview paperwork I am feeling more confident again. It is a ball ache having to do the prep in the evenings but if that's what it is then that's what it is! Hopefully dgd will be tired after going to the soft play this afternoon and will have a nap so I can get cracking on the presentation & prep.

Since the day in June when I lost my job & my mother died my mood has been very up and down and I don't know whether it's because of the job or the bereavement. I suppose it doesn't really matter, and is probably a mixture of both, and I should just be kind to myself and understand it will take time to get over both of these things.

Ok think I have about 5 mins left of peace & quiet & then on to the next activity!

Bobarella

Determined - I am not surprised your mood has been up and down. You have an awful lot on your plate. Losing a job & a mother in the space of a short period, on top of already looking after your granddaughter, & trying to reconcile with your own daughter. Wow just typing that list is stress inducing. You are doing so so incredibly well I think. Im sure Im not the only one who reads about your life who thinks it.

Presentations are horrible. I had to give them in my past life & I never lost the fear. So I dont blame you being aprehensive. And having to work at your unfavoured time of day is also hard. But maybe thats part of it. Maybe at times we/you need to stop and say, ok, what Im attempting to do is bl00dy hard, and thats why Im struggling!
Raising a child that isnt yours is hard. Looking for work is hard. Coping with the death of a parent is hard. So lets not beat ourselves up expecting it to be a breeze, because it wont be. A lot of others would have buckled by now, gone on a bender, howled at the moon, but you are hanging in there, being a rock for your DGD, partner & daughter. I think that deserves a huge hug & round of applause.
Go you!

Bob x