Wedding in 2 weeks, 2.5K short

TonyMMM

Rambosmum wrote: »

Eh? What do you mean?

If you read the previous posts linked to above you will see that like many people "marrying" abroad the actual wedding (the bit that makes you legally married) has already taken place..... in this case months ago.

Whatever they are planning abroad isn't a wedding.

Mojisola

Koalabear wrote: »

DP decided to tell me two days ago that he hasn't got any money to put towards what's outstanding.

Koalabear wrote: »

I budgeted it, I kept him up to date, we discussed the ins and outs of it so nothing has come as a surprise in terms of how much was still outstanding.

So you've known all along that he wasn't saving?

Rambosmum

TonyMMM wrote: »

If you read the previous posts linked to above you will see that like many people "marrying" abroad the actual wedding (the bit that makes you legally married) has already taken place..... in this case months ago.

Whatever they are planning abroad isn't a wedding.

Would have been nice if the OP had pointed this out in the first post, makes the advice slightly different.

gettingtheresometime

TonyMMM wrote: »

If you read the previous posts linked to above you will see that like many people "marrying" abroad the actual wedding (the bit that makes you legally married) has already taken place..... in this case months ago.

Whatever they are planning abroad isn't a wedding.

Do you mean unlike ?

TonyMMM

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Do you mean unlike ?

No ... it is very common for the real wedding to take place in the UK just before (or after) the "wedding" abroad .... for quite a few countries it makes the legalities much simpler.

Anyone who has worked in registration offices will tell you they happen all the time.

Quite often just the couple plus two witnesses (usually sworn to secrecy) - the family & friends shelling out lots of cash to attend the "wedding" don't even realise.

candlelight_2013

I definitely agree with Tony, how many times have I been told "this is not the real wedding it is just the registration". No it isn't, it is a legal marriage according to the laws of THIS country

Candlelightx

Person_one

Koalabear wrote: »

For us, this is our actual wedding. We got married legally beforehand as the cost of doing it all abroad (and the bureaucracy involved) were simply prohibitive.

Ok, but you do know it isn't your actual wedding, right? That only happens once.

You haven't answered the question of whether your guests know that they aren't coming to the actual wedding, that's important information because it may affect posters' opinions of what is appropriate to do in terms of cancelling/changing plans etc.

I can't help but think it was a terrible idea to plan an expensive holiday when you both had substantial amounts of debt. Realistically, you couldn't afford this no matter how much you 'saved' and 'budgeted'.

Rambosmum

Person_one wrote: »

Ok, but you do know it isn't your actual wedding, right? That only happens once.

You haven't answered the question of whether your guests know that they aren't coming to the actual wedding, that's important information because it may affect posters' opinions of what is appropriate to do in terms of cancelling/changing plans etc.

I can't help but think it was a terrible idea to plan an expensive holiday when you both had substantial amounts of debt. Realistically, you couldn't afford this no matter how much you 'saved' and 'budgeted'.

Actually, it's a marriage which can only happen once, a wedding can happen several times (I mean without a divorce!).

FBaby

I TRUSTED DH to deliver his share of it. Simple. I budgeted it, I kept him up to date, we discussed the ins and outs of it so nothing has come as a surprise in terms of how much was still outstanding.

I'm confused about this. Are you saying that you both agreed that you would save half of the full cost, you saved your £2500, he told you he was saving his £2500 and suddenly announced that he really hadn't saved a penny? If you'd worked out how both of you could save that amount, what did he spend the money he was supposed to save on?

This is a massive blow and if I was you, I would be absolutely furious. Saying that, after sharing my life with someone very bad with money, there is no way I would have agree to marry someone I knew from the start had bad spending habits and a poor credit score, let alone arranged a wedding abroad costing that much. You can't turn back time though, you are now officially married. It does say a lot about your relationship though that your husband didn't feel he could tell you about the situation and that it would come as a shock to you. You're starting your marriage already having to try to save your relationship

LilElvis

Koalabear wrote: »

Taken into account what I already knew, this was my way of giving him a chance to show that he can be trusted with money.

So, you gave him a chance ........ and he blew it.

You might not like, or want, to take out a loan to pay the balance but it doesn't sound like there is any other option.

What about your friends and family? They have invested a lot of their money to attend your "wedding". It might also be a holiday for them, but it is at a place and date that you chose. You might be miffed and disappointed at your husband's behaviour, but imagine how they will feel after shelling out a lot of money to fit in with your dream of a beach wedding.

Go to the bank, sort out a loan, and then make your husband sell whatever he has that isn't essential/ work overtime to pay it back.