Wedding in 2 weeks, 2.5K short

lemontart

not good at all, I am hoping to get married next year and oh has no savings at all, basically told him he has to start putting money aside or no wedding as there is no way I can pay for it all from sale of my house. tbh I suspect there will be no wedding for me as now having serious doubts re financial aspects

Pollycat

lemontart wrote: »

not good at all, I am hoping to get married next year and oh has no savings at all, basically told him he has to start putting money aside or no wedding as there is no way I can pay for it all from sale of my house. tbh I suspect there will be no wedding for me as now having serious doubts re financial aspects

You say he has no savings at all.
What is the reason for that?

Does he not earn enough money to allow him to save?
Does he earn a lot but squander his disposable income?
If you live together does he contribute to the household?

Have you told him that you are having serious doubts about financial aspects?

onlyroz

Could you please clarify what, exactly, still needs paying for? Are you talking about flights, hotels, venue for your "ceremony"? Or spending money for food etc? I'm struggling to understand how you can get this far along without having to pay for these things - every other holiday I've been on requires you to pay in full around 3 months in advance.

If you can give us more info we can perhaps suggest ways for you to economise.

Pollycat

onlyroz wrote: »

Could you please clarify what, exactly, still needs paying for? Are you talking about flights, hotels, venue for your "ceremony"? Or spending money for food etc? I'm struggling to understand how you can get this far along without having to pay for these things - every other holiday I've been on requires you to pay in full around 3 months in advance.

If you can give us more info we can perhaps suggest ways for you to economise.

The OP said this yesterday:

Koalabear wrote: »

A big chunk of the cost actually comes from paying for flights and accommodation for us, my DS and DH's 3 children. We've gone for very budget accommodation because once again, luxury wasn't a priority. We don't have to pay for hire where we are holding our reception so the only other big expense was the boat to take us all to a secluded beach for the ceremony - it was either that or using a hotel room which again would have incurred a cost in itself.

I agree that flights usually have to be paid for at the time of booking or if it is a package holiday, a deposit is due on booking and the balance payable 10-12 weeks prior to departure.
As the OP & her husband are flying out in 6 days, any economies are going to have to be pretty drastic.

Alikay

Oh dear. If it was your actual legal wedding, I'd have advised cancelling. It turns out though, that you're already married and several family and friends have also committed to flying out to celebrate with you, so any cancellation leaves them with cost and inconvenience. Plus you're already married so it's not a case of simply walking away from him.

In this case I'd be suggesting pretty assertively that he sell anything he doesn't use/need...including the spare car he had a few months ago (according to one of your previous posts), but could also include his CD collection, watches, electronics etc. Is there any way you could trim the holiday costs at this late stage? Maybe cheaper accommodation? Cancel any car hire? Planning to self-cater rather than eat out?

onlyroz

Pollycat wrote: »

The OP said this yesterday:

I agree that flights usually have to be paid for at the time of booking or if it is a package holiday, a deposit is due on booking and the balance payable 10-12 weeks prior to departure.
As the OP & her husband are flying out in 6 days, any economies are going to have to be pretty drastic.

Yes, I don't see how the flights can *not* yet be paid for - so perhaps it's the boat that is still outstanding? Economies can be made by having the guests drink Robinsons squash, and eat plain toast perhaps?

Mojisola

It's hard to see how this is going to be a happy occasion.

Birdie85

I think it'll be difficult to cut back too much on the holiday as they'll have guests out there with them to entertain. I'd be pretty annoyed if I flew out for a wedding and the B&G cancelled any planned meals out together as they were skint and eating in the hotel instead of going out!

I agree with the suggestions of selling as much as possible to get the money together but in the long term you're going to have to sort your joint finances out. It's laughable that a couple planning a wedding have separate savings and no idea what the other person has saved up, or not, as the case may be. Why not have joint accounts?

I got 'married' abroad and did the whole registry office thing before going away as it was a lot easier, although we got married just before we flew out, not months before. Don't think I'd have wanted to bother with the blessing if we'd already been married for months!

I hope you get things sorted and you can enjoy your wedding... but I also hope that this isn't the start of a life of disappointment because your DH can't stick to his word.

lemontart

Pollycat wrote: »

You say he has no savings at all.
What is the reason for that?

Does he not earn enough money to allow him to save?
Does he earn a lot but squander his disposable income?
If you live together does he contribute to the household?

Have you told him that you are having serious doubts about financial aspects?

We do not live together, he lives at his mothers, he earns enough just never been a saver, he has never had a house of his own either having lived with girlfriends in their houses or rented rooms in past. Where as I have owned property since I was 19 - we are both 54 now - and I have always had something put away

He has never had a credit card, and until we started dated he even tended to get cash out rather than use a debit card out and a bout.

Naturally at this age I am concerned about things as now disabled due to various conditions so replensing any savings or building to decent amount is more or less out of the question for me.

Plan is to sell my house to down size, get rid of mort. and use some of the sale money for wedding, but getting irritated to say least that I am funding this all, I have told him I am worried about money and pushing him to save but feel falling on deaf ears.

Pollycat

lemontart wrote: »

We do not live together, he lives at his mothers, he earns enough just never been a saver, he has never had a house of his own either having lived with girlfriends in their houses or rented rooms in past. Where as I have owned property since I was 19 - we are both 54 now - and I have always had something put away

He has never had a credit card, and until we started dated he even tended to get cash out rather than use a debit card out and a bout.

Naturally at this age I am concerned about things as now disabled due to various conditions so replensing any savings or building to decent amount is more or less out of the question for me.

Plan is to sell my house to down size, get rid of mort. and use some of the sale money for wedding, but getting irritated to say least that I am funding this all, I have told him I am worried about money and pushing him to save but feel falling on deaf ears.

I too would be worried.
If he earns enough to save but isn't, then I doubt he's likely to change now.
There is absolutely no way on this earth that I would be using money from the sale of my house to fund a wedding to someone who is so disinterested in contributing his share.

Why are you getting married anyway?