Ex Date Won't Give Me MY Money Back! Advise please

SnooksNJ

He doesn't live in Halifax and like lattes by any chance?

Daerve

Candyapple wrote: »

Not if like the OP has explained that he appears to be a conman. It would be classed as fraud, hence police.

Some examples in post #105
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5214988

The police no longer deal with fraud as the first point of contact. The OP will need to go here.

http://www.actionfraud.police.uk

By all means contact the police but they will simply listen with a sympathetic ear before informing the OP it's a civil matter.

Good luck to the OP as proving a fraud in these circumstances will be nigh on impossible. Take for example, anyone who has ever had a credit agreement in place and has defaulted.

Candyapple

I apologise if I offended you OP, I only meant that from what you have written about this man and about yourself, you come across as having a low opinion of yourself / self-esteem issues which in turn have led to you making poor choices such as lending this man, in essence a stranger, £1.4k within weeks.

To avoid making these mistakes again in the future (if you read the other thread, you will see the OP had made the same mistake years before with someone else, but because she didn’t seek medical help/mental health assistance, she ended up making the same mistake, only this time even worse than first time round) I urge you to go to your GP and ask for a referral for counselling or similar to get to the bottom of the issue.

With regards to getting your money back, good luck. I really think the police are going to be the way forward with this as if he is a conman, chances are you are not his first victim and won’t be his last. If he’s not a conman, not sure what sort of luck you will have in court as he could say it was a gift and not a loan and then where will you be? Or even if you won your case, what if he only agreed to repay you at £1 per month?

stator

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

Which all costs money and there is still no guarantee of getting any money back. Could be throwing good money after bad.

Indeed, but on a point of principle I would be happy to spend money to let this person know that they aren't getting away with it without a fight.
Rolling over isn't an option.

Fraise

Candyapple wrote: »

Have a read of this thread and heed the advice, you need to go back to the police and take advice from a solicitor.
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5214988

Also, you are very similar to the OP in that thread, the only difference being she lost over £30k. [Text removed by Forum Team]

I've been busy all day but shall take a read of that link later. Thank you.

Fraise

Candyapple wrote: »

Not if like the OP has explained that he appears to be a conman. It would be classed as fraud, hence police.

Some examples in post #105
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5214988

Thank you for your reply. I did speak to the police and they said if I can prove intent, then they can arrest him for theft. I have all the copies of the emails and text messages we exchanged, including the one where he asked me to loan him the money on the Monday, promising to pay it back in cash on the Friday.

When he rang me early Friday morning I was sleepy and not thinking clearly..which he knew. I also had bad PMT which always affects my judgement, and as he sounded so disappointed that I hadn't done him this "small" favour I stupidly paid the money into his account. I just wasn't thinking straight. Of course, later on, after I remembered he'd told me he'd pay me back THAT day (that was in electronic message too, which I still have) I think it's obvious what his intentions were.

Besides that, if he had been genuine, then why doesn't he give me my money back.mhe has got it - I paid it into his account. I'd say it's a clear cut case of fraud.

Fraise

Marktheshark wrote: »

No credit agreement and no money lending licence.
Not a strong case.

Do you need a credit agreement and licence to loan someone money? I have it in black and white where he asked me for the loan. Just because we were in the first throes of a relationship at that time, it doesn't mean he didn't try to deceive me and get money off me with the intention of not returning it. That to me is theft.

Fraise

ReadingTim wrote: »

That's a great idea in theory, but all of this costs time, energy and money, with little chance of recovery, especially if he simply decides to ignore it and/or do a runner.

By all means start the process, but there's going to be a time after which you're throwing good money after bad, and much as it might pain you, you're better off letting it go.

I agree with you to a certain extent, but it's the principle that irks me. I have more than he possibly will ever have, so it's not just a monetary issue. I am annoyed that he could do such a cheap, mean thing, so why should I let him get away with it?

Yes, it might cost me a few hundred chasing the money, including a few hours filling out forms etc, but ultimately he will be the one with a CCJ if he refuses to cough up. He isn't a kid, he's in his 40s, and I know he would love to become successful. If he has black marks all over his credit file it will make things tough for him, and may prevent him doing it to some other woman.

He can't do a runner as he lives at his parents house whilst (supposedly) buying a flat nearby. I know for a fact he lives there, and I also have all his contact details....work address...date of birth (I even have his passport number) as I booked his flight ticket. I've also met a couple of his friends who i can get hold of, so even if he laid low he'd be easy to find. He's very distinctive too, as is his work vehicle...

To be honest, I'm amazed he's hiding like this..all over £1400, which is a lot in some ways, but peanuts in others ways. He's so ridiculously cheap.

Fraise

SnooksNJ wrote: »

He doesn't live in Halifax and like lattes by any chance?

LOL, no he doesn't. He lives in London. Is there another one of these specimens in Hakifax?

Fraise

Daerve wrote: »

The police no longer deal with fraud as the first point of contact. The OP will need to go here.

http://www.actionfraud.police.uk

By all means contact the police but they will simply listen with a sympathetic ear before informing the OP it's a civil matter.

Good luck to the OP as proving a fraud in these circumstances will be nigh on impossible. Take for example, anyone who has ever had a credit agreement in place and has defaulted.

I hear you, but this is different to a credit agreement. I believe all the messages I have from him show he intended not to pay me back from the moment he asked me for the loan. Which means he acted with intent.