Ex Date Won't Give Me MY Money Back! Advise please

cornish123

you wont get it back.

chalk it down to an expensive lesson to not be so gullible.

I'm sorry, but you barely knew the guy, was 'seeing' him for a few weeks, and you lent him a sum like that.

You bough him a plane ticket and gave him £1400, id hazard a guess that there was a lot more as well, I'm sure if the guy did end up in court, it wouldn't be too hard for him to show that you were giving him 'gifts', and the car was the same.

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Candyapple wrote: »

I apologise if I offended you OP, I only meant that from what you have written about this man and about yourself, you come across as having a low opinion of yourself / self-esteem issues which in turn have led to you making poor choices such as lending this man, in essence a stranger, £1.4k within weeks.

To avoid making these mistakes again in the future (if you read the other thread, you will see the OP had made the same mistake years before with someone else, but because she didn’t seek medical help/mental health assistance, she ended up making the same mistake, only this time even worse than first time round) I urge you to go to your GP and ask for a referral for counselling or similar to get to the bottom of the issue.

With regards to getting your money back, good luck. I really think the police are going to be the way forward with this as if he is a conman, chances are you are not his first victim and won’t be his last. If he’s not a conman, not sure what sort of luck you will have in court as he could say it was a gift and not a loan and then where will you be? Or even if you won your case, what if he only agreed to repay you at £1 per month?

No need to apologise, Candyapple. You're entitled to your view. If I thought I did have self esteem issues I would happily take your advice, but that's simply not the case.

In fact, I'm on the side of confident, which is why I surprised myself by loaning him the money. I don't have a low opinion of myself, if anything, I'm choosy and picky where men are concerned. Like many divorced/single women I have lots of men chasing me...I keep myself fit and looking nice and do attract the men. Unfortunately, I was drawn to this shark by his good looks, build, charisma and charming personality. All of that clouded my judgement, and I made a simple mistake.

When writing my first post I didn't go into all the finer detail, but although we only knew each other for just six weeks we did spend lots of time together. He took me out to dinners, pubs etc, and also stayed at my house at weekends and sometimes came round during the week and I'd cook him dinner. We got on really well and the time flew when we were together. When he was home in the evenings we'd speak on the phone most nights for up to four hours. I met a couple of his friends and he met a couple of mine. He also did odd jobs around the house for me.....fixing electrical system, fitting a cabinet, jet spraying my patio....we actually packed a lot in in a short time.

He wasn't some romantic sleaze, either, although he did affectionate little actions which seemed to suggest he was genuine, and he was very passionate too.

I did think he was bigging himself up to impress me, and was sure he told me lies about what he really had in assets. I put that down to the fact I have a really nice home in a lovely road/area it was he who felt under confident in comparison. But it didn't matter to me as he was so nice in every other way. He even once brought round some homemade cake his mother had baked, and wasn't shop bought lol.

Who knows...maybe had I paid the car auction house on the Monday things would have panned out differently, but the fact is he put me on the spot and shouldn't have done that. He claimed I'd let him down, but he should have asked me before he left for the airport. He gave me no chance to refuse, and it made me suspicious. And the fact also is that he hasn't returned my money. Whatever his true intentions were, if he was decent, he'd repay me.


He can't say the money was a gift, because I have his message in black and white where he asked me for a LOAN and promised to repay me in cash on the Friday. That's proof it wasn't a gift. Also, if he offered to repay me at £1 a month he would be laughed out of court. I have all the details of his business, new flat he's purchased, vehicles etc.....I even have his bank account details. I know where he advertises too, so he couldn't possibly offer a ridiculously low sum each month. And I'd put a charge against his property....which he'd hate.

PasturesNew

Judge Rinder. Might as well let the whole country know what a pr1ck he is.

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cornish123 wrote: »

you wont get it back.

chalk it down to an expensive lesson to not be so gullible.

I'm sorry, but you barely knew the guy, was 'seeing' him for a few weeks, and you lent him a sum like that.

You bough him a plane ticket and gave him £1400, id hazard a guess that there was a lot more as well, I'm sure if the guy did end up in court, it wouldn't be too hard for him to show that you were giving him 'gifts', and the car was the same.

G

No, I'm not gullible at all. Quite the opposite. He's just a very clever conman.

We were only seeing each other for just six weeks, but in that time we packed a lot in and spent hours, days, nights, weekends together...

I didn't buy him the plane ticket - I booked it. And the reason for that was he was on a job driving, and needed to book urgently, and so asked me. He gave me his bank details, passport number etc...that's all that was.

He took me out for meals etc, and yes, I cooked meals for him too. He'd supply the wine, though. He also did jobs for me in the house, and no, he didn't invoice me lol

The courts couldn't possibly say the car was a gift as he ASKED me for the money. I have it in black and white...it's in my first post.

jonesMUFCforever

Post 22 and we get the first sensible advice IMO

OP he might have done this to other people but you stand no chance of getting your money back.

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PasturesNew wrote: »

Judge Rinder. Might as well let the whole country know what a pr1ck he is.

LOl!!!!

Shame I can't put a mugshot up. Wish I could....though he's so darned handsome that I'm sure no-one would believe he was a pr1ck.

SailorSam

I've been conned and so have a lot of others, so don't be blaming yourself for being stupid, you probably just expect people to be like yourself and trustworthy. I know i like to help if i can and because of it have been taken for a fool.
I think i'd make an Appointment with the CAB just to check all the legal ins-and-outs.
Good Luck.

BobQ

Have you tried contacting his friends. He might not care that you think he is a crook but what would he think if his friends thought he was a sleaze.

Agree with Sailor Sam, explore the possibilities but accept you have been had and be prepared to move on

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jonesMUFCforever wrote: »

Post 22 and we get the first sensible advice IMO

OP he might have done this to other people but you stand no chance of getting your money back.

Oh, I'm a very determined person and I have the funds to pursue it. I don't give in easily, and going by what I've been told so far I do stand a chance of getting my money back. I still have the police option.....they told me it looked like deception to them, so I'm sure he'd rather cough up than be arrested and charged.

I don't care if he's done this to other people before.....I'm me, and he's picked on the wrong one this time.

By the way, post 22 was completely wrong advice: the poster hadn't read my original post and they got all the facts wrong.

Puddylove

Go get him, girl!

You might not get your money back from this dishonest man, but at least you can make life a bit uncomfortable for him.
P x