In-laws Problem!

Tlg1991

De.........

lee111s

Unfortunately, when you're living in someone else's house, you have to play by their rules. You already know the alternative.

Guest101

Tlg1991 wrote: »

I live with my girlfriend in her mum and dads house she has a little sister age 12 who gets everything she wants. all the while my girlfriend doesn't even get an invite when they go out to places together and all kinds of things like that the list is endless which annoys me but i bite my tongue.

Me an my GF are moving out before the end of this year hopefully into our first house but at the minute she is finished her last 3 weeks of uni work and is in a mad rush to get it finished. She asked her mum if she could lay of inviting her little sisters to come over and sleep over all the time for the next few weeks just until she finishes the work she needs to do as when her little sisters friends come everyone is at work and its my GF who has to look after them all.

anyway her mum came and told us last night her sister was having friends over so they will be in the house, she left and i saw my GF getting upset and she never listens to her. i couldn't bite my tongue any more so i said rather loud so her mum could hear "go and tell her then, why does nobody listen then everyone !!!!!foot around things" my GF went outside to ring her nan to see if she could stay at hers the following day to get work done in peace and her mum came in and started having ago at me. im fine with it it doesn't phase me but today my gf rang me up in tears saying her nan had been down calling her selfish and slagging her off.

Im in two mind weather to just leave it and try and be the only person to support my GF to get this work done as she want to give up, but at the same time i want to go around to her nans after work on my own and tell her to get both sides of a story before slagging people off and try supporting there grand daughter. I have seen her mum manipulate stories before to turn people against my GF and she also the type of person that cares more about other people thinking she has a perfect family rather than spending actual time with her family.

sorry for the long post but i've had enough, its me my GF comes crying to when everyone else S**ts on her with sly digs about work/weight/friends everything.

I suspect you need to move out sooner than end of the year!

To put it into perspective - they're 12 and dont need looking after.

Your GF can easily find somewhere else to do whatever work she needs to do. - Im confused, most unis have ended already.

You're a guest and should really not be saying anything to anyone.

In fact, im sorry but my sympathies are with her family. They're accomodating you and her, in their home.
Her little sister is on summer holidays and will have friends over.

And your GF will look to you for support, that's kind of your job.

Missyhenry

Why can't you look after the children while your girlfriend studies?

Ivrytwr3

Mupette

can you pay for girlfriend to stay in a little hotel for a few days, doesn't need to be expensive, just the piece and quiet she needs.

Sounds like family are jealous of her achievements, nothing you can do about that but ignore the ignorant, support her

as for the 12 year old, well what goes around comes around, mummy and daddy's little princess might turn out to be a very spoilt brat, let them make a rod for their back, the sister is not your sister's responsibility,

Mupette

Missyhenry wrote: »

Why can't you look after the children while your girlfriend studies?

would you expect him to be free childcare? what about his job, the mother has the responsibility to raise her kids not him or his g/f

Tlg1991

I am at work, saving for our house which we can only move into towards October November as the current people living there only move into a new build when its finished around that time.

My girlfriend got extenuated circumstances on her uni course as she was suffering from depression which she had no help or support from her family over. they just left her to it and didn't ask how she was doing.

she opened up today and said sometimes she felt like committing suicide sometimes its the first time she has told her family as they was all shouting and calling her selfish and they ignored her and rang the doctors for an emergency appointment, if that was me i would try to be a mum and give support before running off and fobbing her over to a doctor, albeit this was earlier this year, she has got past the depression on her own accord without tablets. it just blows my mind how her own family can't support her.

TBagpuss

I think it was ill-advised of you to interfere. As others have said, you are a guest in her parents home. Are you paying any rent?

On a practical level, I would suggest that you encourage your GF to go and work in the university library rather than at home so she can work in peace. Offer to keep an eye on her sister and sister's friends.

If you are working, offer to help your GF's parents with meal preparation, clearing up, housework, supervising the younger girls etc in the evening so that your GF's time is freed up.

Support your girlfriend by encouraging *her* to speak to her parents and grandmother if *she* feels that they are being unreasonable. Encourage her to have the conversations at a time when all concerned are calm, not when she is upset or annoyed at a request which has been made of her.

Tlg1991

TBagpuss wrote: »

I think it was ill-advised of you to interfere. As others have said, you are a guest in her parents home. Are you paying any rent?

On a practical level, I would suggest that you encourage your GF to go and work in the university library rather than at home so she can work in peace. Offer to keep an eye on her sister and sister's friends.

If you are working, offer to help your GF's parents with meal preparation, clearing up, housework, supervising the younger girls etc in the evening so that your GF's time is freed up.

Support your girlfriend by encouraging *her* to speak to her parents and grandmother if *she* feels that they are being unreasonable. Encourage her to have the conversations at a time when all concerned are calm, not when she is upset or annoyed at a request which has been made of her.

I pay rent and i buy all our food and cook for me and my girlfriend. her family doesn't cook as they have microwave meals and mcdonalds every night. They don't essentially pay for my GF as i pay for everything for us.

pinkshoes

Tlg1991 wrote: »

I pay rent and i buy all our food and cook for me and my girlfriend. her family doesn't cook as they have microwave meals and mcdonalds every night. They don't essentially pay for my GF as i pay for everything for us.

They are letting you stay in their house though...

Your GF needs to find somehwere else to do her work, and she cannot expect her sister to keep quiet. It is her sister's home and she is entitled to have her friends round. If it is too noisy,she needs to find somewhere else to life or work.

Library? Local pub that is quiet in evening?

Can you both move in with your parents?