In-laws Problem!

ViolaLass

Tlg1991 wrote: »

as for moving out, i am not a complete idiot i mentioned this to her a LONG time ago and my GF does not want to, its really that simple she wont cut her nose of to spite her face so to speak. i have offered many of times to go elsewhere but i can't drag her out of the home can i?

But that's what she's doing by staying.

Tlg1991

My gf does not want to completely cut her mum from her life, if she wanted to do that no problem she wouldn't be getting upset over things.
she knows she wont get what she wants from her mum relationship wise and she has said the only time her mum really showed any affection was when my gf lived away at uni for 1 year.

Its little things that her mum does constantly to just wind her up, like yesterday her little sister is getting her nails done somewhere for the first time, my gf said to her mum dont take her to this one nail shop as there have been people who have got infections and they don't clean stuff proper and the nails fall off after a few days, she recommended where she went and they said no that place is rubbish we are going to the first place even though they have never been to any. my gf tries to help them all the time and they always seem to do the opposite and just try and annoy her.

any how whats done is done. her mum dad and little sister go on holiday on friday for 2 weeks so she will have the house to her self.

fairy_lights

I have to say I think you and your girlfriend sound slightly ungrateful. Her parents are giving you a place to live and you don't seem at all thankful for that and seemingly have nothing good to say about them, or her sister. Things are so bad that your girlfriend is planning not to make any effort with her mother when you move out, but is still happy to accept her hospitality now while it suits her.

lostinrates

Tlg1991 wrote: »

she has said the only time her mum really showed any affection was when my gf lived away at uni for 1 year.

:j

Its a melting pot. You are none of you innocent from your own telling of this story. Enjoy your two weeks off. Try and speed things up or put yourselves in your 'in laws' position when trying to stay calm. Your gf mother is obviously struggling too.

LannieDuck

If your gf won't move out, why don't you? You don't seem to like her family very much, so it seems quite cynical that you're nonetheless happy to live in their house.

If you rented somewhere else your gf would at least have the option of a different place to go to study, even if she doesn't want to move out completely.

Missyhenry

Tlg1991 wrote: »

Okay i have obviously not made myself clear, i could not care less about my gf mum changing as far as i am concerned. i was focusing on my gf who gets upset about things.

Last night she was talking to be and she says herself now that we act normal until we move and she wants nothing to do with her after that (when she says nothing she means she wont be making an effort to go to her)

my gf was fine yesterday as she could be and was talking to her mum like normal, while her mum was acting like a playground child still.

as for moving out, i am not a complete idiot i mentioned this to her a LONG time ago and my GF does not want to, its really that simple she wont cut her nose of to spite her face so to speak. i have offered many of times to go elsewhere but i can't drag her out of the home can i?

That is just using people - it's an unpleasant trait and one you may want to watch out for in the future.

Tlg1991

I actually looked at apartments to move out to just on my own, she told her mum and they suggested me not to as it would delay us getting a house. trust me all your suggestions i have already tried in the past.

Missyhenry

Tlg1991 wrote: »

I actually looked at apartments to move out to just on my own, she told her mum and they suggested me not to as it would delay us getting a house. trust me all your suggestions i have already tried in the past.

Why an "apartment" for a single bloke for just a couple of months - there must be loads of empty rooms in a university city over the summer?

Fluff15

Well then if none of you are willing to make any changes to help the situation, then what's the point in moaning about it? Your girlfriend doesn't have to make suggestions to her Mum that will be ignored, and then she subsequently gets upset about it.

Tlg1991

as for being ungrateful, thats far from the case. we are extremely grateful and have suggested all kinds of things to pay them back when we get our house such as hosting xmas dinner for the family as her mum doesn't like or do it at her house. yes its a small thing in the scale of what they have done for us, but for now its what we can offer back.

I want to stress this is a one of argument it doesn't not happen often at all, yes my gf gets upset to me but nobody else sees that and she doesn't want other people to see it either she doesn't like attention or people thinking she is trying to get it. The rest of the time we actually get on all of us we do have a laugh and stuff i have defiantly made it sound a lot worse than it is as i was only talking about the negative as that was the point of the thread.

The rest of the time i cook a lot for the family as they don't like to and they have helped us alot with letting us live there and giving us advice through the process of mortgages/bills/ etc.

I have told me gf not to cut ties and to be honest i think she only says it when she is upset, she isolates herself and doesn't let people in when she feels like that so the comment is probably nothing more than just a comment.