In-laws Problem!

Tlg1991

Mojisola wrote: »

I thought you were paying money to her parents for your room.

If so, why can't that money be used to pay your way as a lodger somewhere else?

If i paid her parents market price they wouldn't have offered to help us to save money by taking me in. we pay for what we use and a little extra and buy our own food. i wouldn't have done it in the first place if it wouldn't have made such a big difference for saving.

LannieDuck

Tlg1991 wrote: »

If i paid her parents market price they wouldn't have offered to help us to save money by taking me in. we pay for what we use and a little extra and buy our own food. i wouldn't have done it in the first place if it wouldn't have made such a big difference for saving.

Ahh - so you're not actually paying rent? (or maybe a token amount?)

You don't need to be coy about it - it's a perfectly reasonable arrangement when parents are trying to help their children save up for a house deposit. But it does change the suggestions that people can offer.

Missyhenry

Tlg1991 wrote: »

If i paid her parents market price they wouldn't have offered to help us to save money by taking me in. we pay for what we use and a little extra and buy our own food. i wouldn't have done it in the first place if it wouldn't have made such a big difference for saving.

But you said that you paid rent!

Tlg1991

Missyhenry wrote: »

But you said that you paid rent!

Rent - a tenant's regular payment to a landlord for the use of property or land

i make monthly payments on an agreed upon price to her parents, im sorry if im wrong i thought that was the definition of rent.

Missyhenry

Tlg1991 wrote: »

Rent - a tenant's regular payment to a landlord for the use of property or land

i make monthly payments on an agreed upon price to her parents, im sorry if im wrong i thought that was the definition of rent.

Not when you also say " we pay for what we use and a little extra and buy our own food."

Tlg1991

Missyhenry wrote: »

Not when you also say " we pay for what we use and a little extra and buy our own food."

Why?

They offered to take me in to help us save, i asked how much they wanted on a monthly basis for me stay at their property, they said X amount and i agreed. that is rent.

LannieDuck

So the rent you pay is "a little extra" each month. Presumably that means it's quite a lot lower than normal market rents in the area?

DevilsAdvocate1

TBagpuss wrote: »

On a practical level, I would suggest that you encourage your GF to go and work in the university library rather than at home so she can work in peace. Offer to keep an eye on her sister and sister's friends.

This is what I used to do. My mum got a place at Oxford and her dad wouldn't let her go. This was around 1950.

I only went to the local polytechnic to get my degree, but my mum was really jealous. She used to get the hoover out and hoover all around me so that I couldn't get anything done. She would hoover outside my bedroom door at 7am!

I used to go to the local library to study. Or during term time, I would find an empty classroom and study there.

I do think that her sister will want friends over during the school holidays and its perhaps a bit unreasonable to say non at all, even just for the first few weeks. Could your gf maybe work 3 days and friends come over the other 2? Could her sister go to her friend's houses?

DevilsAdvocate1

Just to add - my youngest is 10 and I find I can get far more work done when he has friends over (I work from home). That's because they entertain each other. When he is at home on his own he interrupts me every 2 minutes - can I have a drink? can we play Monopoly? I'm bored etc. etc.

lostinrates

Tlg1991 wrote: »

Why?

They offered to take me in to help us save, i asked how much they wanted on a monthly basis for me stay at their property, they said X amount and i agreed. that is rent.

This IS fair if this is your arrangement. However, there is more than money. When we stayed with family or in family homes we took other responsibilities that saved them time/ effort or money as well as other arrangement we had. This further gave us advantage of not forgetting the responsibility of being home owners. So things like clearing the gutters, home maintenance, garden labour, the cleaning ( apArt from of bedrooms or private bathrooms).