In-laws Problem!

Piggywiggy

Either move out yourself to ease the situation or just keep your mouth shut, you are in someone else's house with their rules, I spend 3 or 4 nights a week sometimes at my OHs family, they argue sometimes as families do but I would never dream of getting involved as much as I'd like to because it is not my place to say, and a 12 year old should be able to enjoy their summer holidays so it's not really fair to say they shouldn't have friends round whilst your gf studies, here are plenty of parks/libraries/coffee shops she could go and get a couple of hours time for studies.

Mojisola

Tlg1991 wrote: »

I actually looked at apartments to move out to just on my own, she told her mum and they suggested me not to as it would delay us getting a house. trust me all your suggestions i have already tried in the past.

Why did that stop you when it's clear you and your GF will be happier with a bit of distance between you and her family?

If you look through the adverts for lodgers, the cost shouldn't be very different to what you're paying now.

rachy182

If your using her parents as a cheap place to stay then put up and shut up. They are doing you a huge favor don't shove it back in their faces. There was probably a reason why when she was away at uni the relationship was better. I imagine when they had more distance they didn't wind each other up. Maybe you gf needs to step back a bit and not take stuff so personally. At the moment her default response is her mum is being awful to her so she automatically thinks the worst and gets upset/angry.

LannieDuck

Tlg1991 wrote: »

I actually looked at apartments to move out to just on my own, she told her mum and they suggested me not to as it would delay us getting a house. trust me all your suggestions i have already tried in the past.

Why do they get to decide where you live?

It might delay getting a house a bit (depending on how much of a rent-reduction you're getting at the moment). But if it makes you and your gf happier, it might be worth it.

ViolaLass

Tlg1991 wrote: »

I actually looked at apartments to move out to just on my own, she told her mum and they suggested me not to as it would delay us getting a house. trust me all your suggestions i have already tried in the past.

But you haven't tried it. You've looked a bit and then given up when they told you to. Why didn't you go for it?

maman

Tlg1991 wrote: »

. trust me all your suggestions i have already tried in the past.

Fluff15 wrote: »

Well then if none of you are willing to make any changes to help the situation, then what's the point in moaning about it?

So if you've already decided nothing's going to work then (other than letting off steam) you have two choices

• put up with the current situation as you'll get your deposit quicker. I'd suggest your GF does the same.
• move out with or without your GF into the cheapest accommodation you can find so you'll be a bit happier but delay your deposit for a little longer.

Tlg1991

Okay, Thanks for the help everyone. unfortunately at the moment every single penny counts towards our house we need, we still have legal fees to pay i have car insurance to pay and other bills so its not just furniture. call it bad planning or timing or whatever but we have a house waiting to be moved into around a certain time so moving now isn't an option never mind the fact a change of address would mess up our mortgage offer.

We keep our selves to ourselves and i mainly wanted some ideas to keep my GF up beat as she wants to give up on the last 3 weeks of her uni work as she is struggling with it so she is pretty stressed.

I understand its someone else's house i play by the rules and i did not argue myself with her mum i told my gf to speak to her because she was upset and her mum had a go at me for trying to get her daughter to talk to her.

To be honest though i don't really care who you are or if you live in some ones house family or not, nobody has the right to make someone feel that way, as far as i am concerned there is no excuse. but we will keep the peace and my gf will no doubt carry on making attempts to be part of things going on.

Thanks again for all the replies.

LannieDuck

Has your gf tried taking a laptop and working in cafes or libraries? If she's out of the house, she can't be a put-upon babysitter.

Mojisola

Tlg1991 wrote: »

unfortunately at the moment every single penny counts towards our house we need

I thought you were paying money to her parents for your room.

If so, why can't that money be used to pay your way as a lodger somewhere else?

Tlg1991

LannieDuck wrote: »

Has your gf tried taking a laptop and working in cafes or libraries? If she's out of the house, she can't be a put-upon babysitter.

She does go to the library from time to time but the cost of public transport to get into town is pretty steep to say the least, especially when she can sit at home for nothing to do the same thing.