Why I am still in this relationship?

Guest101

Angry_Bear wrote: »

I've just read through this thread and I'm really surprised by some of the views on how common "tricking" a partner into having a child is.

I get the impression that it's mostly men who think this is a really common thing, but maybe not. I was always really confident that this is surely a really rare happening by the sort of bottom-feeding women you would get on Jeremy Kyle type shows. But I'll admit that's down to my own prejudice because I think it's a truly horrible thing to do and is something I'd never ever consider.

But now I'm wondering - do people really think that women deliberately getting pregnant even though they know their partner doesn't want kids is common?

Yes of course it is.

It's just not common in people you know.

How common. 1 in 50 probably isn't an over exageration.

The fact is, the UK is a world leader for single parent families. There's a certain percentage that just didnt work out, despite the efforts. A certain percentage which is through widowing etc.
Some where the father might've talked the talk, but then just walked.

But that means that there is still a lot of children conceived purely by the wishes of the mother.

indiepanda

FBaby wrote: »

No-one can know because those who do would never admit to it. The reality around me though is that every single female I know who has fallen pregnant by 'accident' have been those who did admit they wouldn't mind -or would love- to become a mum. The friends who I know truly didn't want to become pregnant somehow have never had accidents...so yes, it does make you wonder!

It's very hard to say how much it happens - I am one of those who would be horrified if I got pregnant and would go and have an abortion - but I wouldn't then tell anyone if I did as I know some people would judge and I think anyone struggling to get pregnant might be upset by it. Suspect I am not the only one to feel like this.

So it's possible that friends have got accidentally pregnant even when they truly didn't want to and I just don't know about it.

Equally though some of my friends have admitted to having had families earlier than planned or additional unplanned extras, they are all still with their husbands and seem to be happy, so I've assumed it was a contraception failure as they suggested rather than a stitch up.

However, I am not convinced my circle of friends is really representative of the population as a whole - none of my friends are single parents and probably a higher proportion than average don't have children at all.

Angry_Bear

Guest101 wrote: »

But that means that there is still a lot of children conceived purely by the wishes of the mother.

You don't seem to have taken into account mistakes and "accidents" that are down to stupidity on one or both sides, rather than a deliberate decision by a woman to try to get pregnant against her sexual partner's wishes.

1 in 50 sounds like a horrifyingly high number to me, I really hope you're wrong! However, I completely agree with FBaby that there's no way to know for sure, so it's all just speculation.

Corelli

Angry_Bear wrote: »

I've just read through this thread and I'm really surprised by some of the views on how common "tricking" a partner into having a child is.

I get the impression that it's mostly men who think this is a really common thing, but maybe not. I was always really confident that this is surely a really rare happening by the sort of bottom-feeding women you would get on Jeremy Kyle type shows. But I'll admit that's down to my own prejudice because I think it's a truly horrible thing to do and is something I'd never ever consider.

But now I'm wondering - do people really think that women deliberately getting pregnant even though they know their partner doesn't want kids is common?

The only time I've been sort of aware of partners being tricked into pregnancy was by men deliberately not withdrawing, or having condom 'accidents'. The sort of men who believe women should be pregnant and in the kitchen preferably bare foot too.

Who can say? OP, I feel for you and hope you can get the issues of the flat and your dog sorted, and feel happier.