Why I am still in this relationship?

gabriel1980

22cuddles wrote: »

Maybe not, however hormonal contraceptives in particular can make some women feel pretty rotten, they can increase the risk of certain cancers (although can decrease the risk of other types in some cases)...some women get worse mood swings and/or periods than without hormonal contraception. Clearly not every woman is affected in this way but maybe something you should bear in mind.

As long as the sex continues.........

AubreyMac

There are always other orifices

VestanPance

Trying to decide which is worse.

The just get pregnant anyway advice, or the it's fine if the pill messes up my long term partners health as long as I'm not slightly inconvenienced by having to use a condom.

fashionvictim

I personally would not trick anyone into getting me pregnant- to clear that up as I am the OP. I have taken the pill in the past. but decided to stop 2 years ago, which at that point I MADE IT CLEAR I STOPPED and he wanted to use condoms until he was 'ready' to try for a baby. I had hoped within the last 2 years he would be ready, but he is a advert for condom usage.

In the new year I gave him time limit for a decision. He has had 6 months of this year to think by birthday being the deadline.

All things have been promised at one point or an other by him marriage, family kids, I mean we did buy a place together, we havea dog etc.


I feel saying me turning 35 was a good cut off point for his decision was reasonable. In reality 7 years is too long to wait but I wanted to give him a chance to make a decision and not feel rushed.

I cannot see I can stay as I will resent him, but I agree I think it will hard to meet someone else and to not feel some pressure due to the tick tock of my age. And I have to consider I might never find someone with my 'personality'

My lack of motivation to leave is more I feel a bit worn out by the thought of starting again from scratch in terms of were I live. It is very hard when you think something is forever, but I need to start.

Guest101

VestanPance wrote: »

Trying to decide which is worse.

The just get pregnant anyway advice, or the it's fine if the pill messes up my long term partners health as long as I'm not slightly inconvenienced by having to use a condom.

Both equally bad really.

Guest101

fashionvictim wrote: »

I personally would not trick anyone into getting me pregnant- to clear that up as I am the OP. I have taken the pill in the past. but decided to stop 2 years ago, which at that point I MADE IT CLEAR I STOPPED and he wanted to use condoms until he was 'ready' to try for a baby. I had hoped within the last 2 years he would be ready, but he is a advert for condom usage.

In the new year I gave him time limit for a decision. He has had 6 months of this year to think by birthday being the deadline.

All things have been promised at one point or an other by him marriage, family kids, I mean we did buy a place together, we havea dog etc.


I feel saying me turning 35 was a good cut off point for his decision was reasonable. In reality 7 years is too long to wait but I wanted to give him a chance to make a decision and not feel rushed.

I cannot see I can stay as I will resent him, but I agree I think it will hard to meet someone else and to not feel some pressure due to the tick tock of my age. And I have to consider I might never find someone with my 'personality'

My lack of motivation to leave is more I feel a bit worn out by the thought of starting again from scratch in terms of were I live. It is very hard when you think something is forever, but I need to start.

I think you should print this off and show him how you feel!

In fact print the whole thread and you can both be serious and laugh at the various suggestions.

Maybe he doesnt think he'd make a good father?
Maybe the lifestyle change is too much?
Maybe he feels too old (he'll be 59 when DS/DD reach 18)

fairy_lights

fashionvictim wrote: »

I cannot see I can stay as I will resent him, but I agree I think it will hard to meet someone else and to not feel some pressure due to the tick tock of my age. And I have to consider I might never find someone with my 'personality'

For what it's worth I know several women who have been single in their mid 30's, or in long term relationships that have broken down, who have met lovely new partners and started families in the space of a few years. My sister has just had her first child at 37.
So I don't think it will necessarily be hard to meet someone, and I'm sure there are a lot of men out there who will fully appreciate your personality

Seabee42

It sounds like you both get on very well and have just reached a point in your lives when you want different things. Giving ultimatums in relationships generally mean you have stopped talking anyways. Lets be honest having children is a big step and if its not right for both of you then it isn't. Be clear with yourself though because meeting someone new and getting to know them to ensure they are suitable partner and parent material is not necessarily quick and easy! Good luck

gabriel1980

You could start meeting people now, by putting your photo up!

shegirl

AubreyMac wrote: »

I never suggested to trap someone. But just questioned whether getting pregnant anyway is a consideration.

I don't believe in deceiving a partner but as I said, if he really did not want a child then he's the one who should ensure he doesn't get her pregnant.

I've never felt broody so do not related to the natural urges to have a child but I have friends and relatives who have felt broody.

I think that if women (mainly women because they do have a biological time limit) were to plan or wait for the 'right time' to have a child then that'll probably not happen until it's too late (and 'right time' for me would be own my own home and have it fully paid off, be financially comfortable enough to not need to work at all and be married to the right partner who is a good hubby and daddy). But reality is some people do not meet the right partner until later in life and are not always financially comfortable until later too.

I find it such a shame women generally aren't as fertile in their 40's as they are when in their late teens and 20's.

Your posts must be the most irresponsible and ridiculous ones I've ever read on here, and there have been several!


No, it is not the job of the one who really doesn't want kids to ensure they don't happen. It is a JOINT thing !!!!!!.


Flaming hell, how on earth can you advocate tricking someone into getting you pregnant?!!! This is a CHILD we are talking about. PEOPLE we are talking about. You can't mess around with peoples lives like that!